Ask the Beasts
by Chuint
Summary: Welcome to this letters to the editor style fic, where Gai and Lee answer the questions! But, where will these letters come from? YOU of course! Some OOC, plenty of crack. Everyone else is in the ceiling or hanging from it. DISCONTINUED & REDONE
1. It Begins

Ahem, Im feeling too lazy to think of much of a fanfic right now. Sorry! But, I decided to try simple things to make it a little easier for my muse to catch up. And, due to my being a huge fangirl of the Sexy Green Best of Konoha I am making a Q&A coulomb concerning him and his sensei. I dont own any characters mentioned in this fic..but I wish I did

**WARNING:  
**May contain crazed fangirls, future bad language (if that happens, rating will be changed), and if Im not careful death to Rock Lee may occur.

This will update whenever I get at least one letter.

**Bold _--_ **Names  
_-Italics- **--**_ actions

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A pale, slender brunet girl walks into the small, white room. It has no windows, no doors, and no means of escape. She just appeared in here, or something..  
Her hair is held up by an orange scrunchie in a high ponytail, which reveals her large forehead. She adjusts her small pair of glasses, removing the glint to reveal her large auburn eyes. Overall, she looks like your everyday know-it-all. Coughing slightly before speaking, she steps forward. The girl is wearing a red ninja headband around her neck along with a POTC locket, a green t-shirt with orange trimming, and a pair of slightly baggy and thin, dark blue sweat pants.  
(she prefers for them to be called cloth jeans, but we all know what they really are).

**Chewy:** Hello, readers! Welcome to my first entry here! Feel free to ask Lee and Gai any question that may come into your mind! THEY KNOW ALLLLLL!!

**Lee:** I never agreed to this.

**Chewy:** Well, you have to do it!

**Lee:** I am all for your youthful enthusiasm, but I am just too busy at the moment.

**Chewy:** ...busy with WHAT, might I ask?

**Lee:** ...stuff.

**Chewy:** Right, well if I cant get you to acquiest my request then I suppose that the use of force is in order. -_pulls out some rope and a chair-_

**Lee:** FINE. Be glad that I, too, have youthful enthusiasm. _-glances at rope-_ And due to a sudden change of heart, I have decided to comply! YOSH!!_ -nice guy pose-_

**Chewy:** Very good, Lee-kun. Gai Sensei, you may come out now.

**Gai:** OH YEAH! LET THE POWER OF YOUTH PREVAIL!

**Lee:** Eh!?

**Chewy:** I wanted to see if I could get you to do it without Gai Sensei, my friend owes me fifty bucks now... _-shining smile and evil laughter-_

**Lee:** _-ignores her-_ Gai Sensei!?

**Gai:** Lee!?

**Lee:** GAI SENSEI!!!

**Gai:** LEE!!! -_attempt a hug, but are separated by Chewy-_

**Chewy:** Being the crazed fangirl that I am, I really do enjoy these moments of student/teacher affection, but I regret to inform you that we must wait for some questions to-

**Gai & Lee:** -_puppy eyes-_

**Chewy:** ...fine, but if you lose your hearing due to my fangirlish screams (which I have been holding back with much effort) you are unable to take any legal-

**Gai & Lee:** SQUEE! -_uber hugs and sobbing occur in front of a sunset backdrop with the sounds of crashing waves and the unbridled squeals of fangirlish glee in the background-_

**Chewy:** -_is squealing and jumping about, then gets punched in the face by Gai for being a stupid fangirl-_ Ow...anyway, LET THE QUESTIONS ROLL IN!


	2. Of Love and Spandex

**Chewy:** -_is now sitting in a chair-_ Okay, we got our first letter! And due to my being really quite impatient...and bored, I've decided to just post it without waiting for a second one.

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**_**Chibi-Gai** writes,_  
**1)** Lee, why when you first saw Sakura you basically said "You're pretty, will you go out with me?" when that wasnt very youthful?  
**2)** Gai Sensei, why do you wear green spandex when you could wear normal green clothes?**  
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**Chewy:** Alright Chibi-Gai, good questions. Your reply, Lee-kun?

**Lee:** I said it because it was true. Sakura is my beautiful Cherry Blossom of youth, and I was so overcome by her youthful charm that I just had to say something! And due to my being so overcome, I was unable to think of anything more youthful!

**Gai:** You mean to say that you were so overcome by youth that you could no longer be youthful?

**Lee:** Yosh! That sums it up nicely, Gai Sensei! You are the best sensei in the entire world!! Have I told you that before!?

**Chewy:** -_eyebrow twitch, mumbles to self-_ And I call myself their fangirl why...?

**Lee & Gai:** -_hugz-_

**Chewy:** Ah, yes, the man-hugs.

_ten minutes later_

**Chewy:** Gai Sensei, could you please answer the next question!?

**Gai:** _-breaks away from a sad Lee-_ Ah, yes! Why green spandex, you ask? Because! Spandex shows off your youth much better than regular clothing ever could, it is also more breathable than regular clothing! It's very slimming, yet another youthful quality, and non-flammable! _-nice Gai pose- _Plus, it's unisex, as in, all genders can wear it! That way, if I ever get Tenten to embrace her youth, she wont have any need to worry about finding any new youthful atire!

**Lee:** Gai Sensei! Do not forget to mention that the very youthful green colors of spandex do not run in the wash! _-shiny smile-_

**Gai:** Very good, Lee! That is why you are the most favored of my youthful students!

**Lee:** Gai Sensei!!

**Gai:** Lee!!

**Lee:** GAI SENSEEEIIII--

**Chewy:** _-clonks on head-_ Shut up. This already turned into some kind of trippy infomercial real quick, and I don't want to get sued again!

* * *

**_Author's Note:_  
Woo, thanks for the questions! I was starting to get bored while I tried to figure out what to type in my other fic! _(Nice name, by the way. Me like)_**


	3. Lee Likes Ponies

**Chewy:** Letters are coming in slowly (for my impatient mind anyway, Im on almost 24/7 nowadays) so I am extremely glad to have gotten another, squee!

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_**Kiss and Cry**__ Writes_,

Yay! I love these things. Especially because I find Lee adorable.

**Lee -** Hmm..What's your favorite animal? And...what's you favorite kind of pizza?**  
Gai -** I know you have a rivalry with Kakashi, what started it and what's the most interesting competition you two have had?

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**Lee:** I am adorable!! YOSH! _-punches the air-  
_My favorite animal is..uh, I never thought about it. Something youthful... OMG Turtles! I like turtles, because turtles are just brimming with youth! And squirrels! Squirrels! Squirrels remind me of my youthful Cherry Blossom, Sakura, and therefore are very youthful themselves!!!

**Chewy:** You told me it was because you like their bushy tai-

**Lee:** YOUTHFUL BLOSSOM!

**Chewy: **Ill never fully understand you..next part of the question, 'what's your favorite kind of pizza?' Ooh, I wouldn't mind knowing myself. A fangirl does like to copy their targets in everything!

**Lee:** I like all pizza, there is no such thing as bad pizza! _-nice guy pose-_

**Chewy:** ...just pick one.

**Lee:** Fine. I like a nice youthful pizza with everything on it. Pineapple, shrimp, bacon, pepperoni, sausage, four cheeses, that super-spicy peppery stuff, anchovies, some barbeque sauce, alfredo too, basil, oregano, garlic, mushrooms, ham, chicken, tuna, ground beef, tomatoes, artichoke hearts, bell peppers, eggplant, olives, onions, spinach, asparagus, broccoli, and sweetcorn.

**Chewy:** o.0 Blregh...I take it back...

**Lee:** And I like the crust stuffed with youthful cheese, all this in a deep dish...the pizza itself stuffed with bananas, lamb, and-

**Chewy:** Lee-kun...just stop..please...I didn't even know they made pizza like that in Konoha...

**Lee:** They dont even make pizza, I make my own and occasionally order out.

**Chewy:** Gai Sensei, answer the next question before I get anymore sick...

**Gai:** I like the same, a very youthful choice indeed. I dont see any reason as to why you would feel sick...

**Chewy:** Answer.The.Question.

**Gai:** _-frantic glances- _My hip and modern rival!! I can defeat him with my complete and total youthful appearance alone! _-weird look from Chewy-_ Anyway, it all started when we were twelve. Kakashi's mother forgot to pack his lunch. You see, Kakashi was very picky about his lunch and academy lunches didn't fit his bill. Anyway, one day I was eating a delicious sandwich that I had made before school to get rid of the last two pieces of bread at home and when I wasnt looking, he stole it! **MY** SANDWICH!!! Ever since then we have been ETERNAL RIVALS!!!!!!! _-another nice Gai pose-_

**Chewy:** ..that's it? A sandwich?

**Gai:** ..it was bologna and cheese...with a tomato! A TOMATOOOooo!!!!! _-dramatic pose-_

**Chewy:** I have lost all respect for you.

**Gai:**_-completely ignores her-_ And the most riveting and youthful of our competitions was when it was my turn to choose what we did last November! Lee's birthday is in Novemeber, so I was full of youthful energy, and so I challenged my hip eternal rival to a contest in which we competed to see who could choose the best gift for Lee that he would like!

**Chewy:** Once more, he does it! He ignores me!!

**Gai: **_-still ignores-_ I set out to get the most youthful gift, as did Kakashi!! And when the day came the winner was announced! There ya go, my youthful peer!

**Chewy:** Lame contest, but I can't help but wonder...who won?

**Gai: **...Kakashi...

**Chewy:** What did he get him?

**Gai: **... _-sad crying-_

**Lee: **He got me a pony! I named her Buttercup!

**Chewy: **Right...

**Lee:**_ -ignores her, is comforting Gai-_

**Chewy:** OMG Its like im Tenten! _-hit by hundreds of weapons from nowhere-_


	4. Popcorn

**Y'know, I eat a lot. A LOT. And yet, Im as thin as a rail. Have no idea why, I just am. **  
**And, I am so bored this summer that I tend to wear my Leaf Headband and stalk around the house on, get this, little missions!**  
**My last mission was five minutes ago.**

**Mission: Scare The Crap Out of Mom**  
**Goal: Scare mom in the living room, acquire a bag of popcorn and a beverage.**

**Mission: COMPLETE**  
**Casualties: Mom, and my now butter-covered keyboard...and my arteries..**

* * *

**Chewy: **Okay, another question from Kiss and Cry! And once more, squee! _-wipes popcorn butter from hands before reading-_

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_**Kiss and Cry**__ Writes_,

Thanks for answering my questions, and correcting my spelling, I didn't catch that. XD. Anyway, here's some more.

**Lee - **Aw, you're so cute. Um..would it be okay if I gave you a hug? And when you're not training or on missions what's your favorite thing to do in Konoha?

**Gai- **A sandwich? That's very interesting XD. I'm sorry you lost the whole present thing. v.v If you had the chance to go to the real world would you go? (And, you can bring Lee )

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**Lee:** Yosh! I love hugs! _-hugz- _  
And when Im not on a mission or training I...hmm..Gai Sensei? When am I not training?

**Gai: **Dont you like to eat at that youthful Ramen place? That's not training, I think..

**Lee: **Gai Sensei is still the BEST, and if that doesn't prove it, nothing will!!  
So, when Im not training I like to eat out, sometimes I eat with the ever youthful Naruto and most of the time I eat with Gai Sensei! Neji never wants to, and Tenten hasn't since that incident with the curry. _-glares at Chewy-_

**Chewy: **I KNOW NOTHING!_ -is under the couch-_  
_**Inner Chewy:**__ When did I get a couch..._

**Gai:**_-ignores her, then ignores her loud complaining-_ The real world...Wait, you mean to say Im not in the real world already!?!

**Chewy: **_-from under couch- _She means where we live...in the other dimension or whatever you anime guys call it.

**Gai: **Oh, sure. Im sure its just as youthful as this world! And if not, my youthful student and I will make it more youthful! And we cant forget that they have all of those fancy amusement parks! I hear the youth loves them, so therefore I do!

**Chewy:** _-jumps up-_ YOSH!!

**Lee:** _-runs at Chewy-_

**Chewy:** OMG!! _-is run over-_


	5. Gai Will Die Alone

**Before I start up again, I want to mention that Lee and Gai are portrayed here as they were before the time skip. **

* * *

**C****hewy:** Another letter! WOO HOO!

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_**Dark Prey of the Underworld**__ writes,_

Awesome!  
**Lee, master of the drunken fist:** YOSH! You are awesome!! The best!! Is green your favorite color?  
**Gai Sensei:** Random question, are you married?

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**Chewy: **There ya go.

**Lee: **I AM SO AWESOME AND FULL OF YOUTHFUL YOUTH! YOSSSHHH! _-Chewy deflates his ego-_ Uhhh...

**Chewy: **You know what Im going to make you do.

**Lee: **OMG Green is indeed my favorite color! YOSH!

**Chewy: **Now for Gai Sensei...Gai Sensei?

**Gai:**_ -fetal position-_ ...

**Lee:** Gai Sensei?

**Gai:** ...

**Chewy:** Uh, you okay?

**Gai:**_ -jumps up- _OMGIMALMOSTTHIRTYBUTNOTMARRIEDOMG!!!1!11!!!!11!

**Chewy & Lee:** o.0

**Gai:** ...

**Chewy:** ...neither is Kakashi Sensei.

**Gai: **Oh yeah!! My youth is too much for a woman to handle anyway!! YOSH!!! _-nice Gai pose-_

**Chewy: **...have you ever even been on a date?

**Gai: **No, but I've asked women out.

**Chewy: **I'll probably regret this, but which women?

**Gai:** Umm...Anko, Kurenai, Shizune, and Tsunade...every female I've met even close to my age since childhood...Tsunade out of desperation...YOUTHFUL desperation!!!

**Chewy:** _-has gone into a weird fantasy induced coma- _Curse...my f- fangirl...mind and...its...f-fantasies of c-character...offspring...and...p-pair..ings..._ -foams at mouth-_

**Lee:** ...Im gonna get drunk!!

**Gai:** WHY!?

**Lee:** TO LIVE UP TO MY YOUTHFUL TITLE!

**Gai: **OMG YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!!

**Lee & Gai:** _-get drunk and trash the small room-_

**Chewy:** _-twitches and continues to foam-_


	6. Where We Question Their Sexuality

**I have nothing against gay people. Just against Gai being gay...even though he prolly is.**

**

* * *

**

**Chewy:** _-has fully recovered and cured Lee and Gai's hangovers-_ Here is another letter!

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_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,_

**Lee:** What's your favorite yaoi paring? And do you like being paired up with Gaara most of the time?  
**Gai:** Do you like to be paired with Kakashi?

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**Chewy: **I knew this would finally come up!

**Lee:** Ummm...hmm..if I really have to choose than I pick Itachi and Sasuke.

**Chewy: **You're going to die, I just know you are...now about Gaara..

**Lee:** Im paired with Gaara!?

**Chewy:** Duh, even though Im not a fan it makes perfect sense! And you two look so adorable together!

**Lee: **Oh, then...NO I DO NOT!!! I LIKE SAKURAAAAA!!! _-splode-_

**Chewy:** ...Im afraid to ask...

**Gai:** Kakashi? I never thought of that one...

**Chewy:** ...whatever, go for it. _-sends him to Kakashi-_

**Somewhere In Konoha**

**Gai: **Kakashi, I heard people like to pair us up.

**Kakashi: **_-is reading-_

**Gai: **How about it?

**Kakashi:** _-flips to a page in book-_ This should change your mind about that. _-holds up to Gai-_

**Gai:** _-nosebleed, faint- _

**Kakashi: **_-continues reading-_

**Gai:**_ -is teleported back-_

**Back in the Little Room**

**Chewy:** How was it?

**Gai:** ... _-is wide eyed, and looks traumatized-_

**Chewy:** ...you just have to answer my question. Are you still partially gayish?

**Gai: **_-shakes head no-_

**Chewy: **Good.


	7. Super Happy Four Letter Special Thing

**More letters! And, since Im feeling super extra happy today, we shall have a ****Super Happy Four Letter Special Thing!!!!!**

**

* * *

**

**Chewy:** More letters! And, since you two have been extra cooperative, Im giving you cookies!

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_**Armorphusshadow **__writes_,

**Lee: **If you had to wear something other then your green jumpsuit what would it be?  
**Gai: **Why are you so obsessed with the power of youth? And you have to give an answer that takes some thought, not one that you just pull out of thin air.

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**Lee:** _-through mouthful of cookie- _A green LEOTARD!

**Chewy: **_-cookie is spit all over her- _Isn't that the same thing?

**Lee: **Basically, but more stretchy.

**Chewy: **I see..Gai Sensei, your turn.

**Gai: **Thought? I know not the meaning of this 'thought' you speak of! Is 'thought' youthful?

**Chewy: **Quit being lazy!

**Gai:** ...I have a thing about the power of youth because, I myself, am very youthful! Youth is the time in one's life when they learn all of the basics and still have all of that youthful pizzaz and vigor that youth so normally have when still youthful!

**Chewy:** ...so he just likes to think he is still youthful?

**Lee: **BUT HE IS!!!

**Chewy: **Knew it, anyway, next letter!

**Lee: **BELIEVE IT! -Chewy kills him-

**Chewy: **NEVER SAY THAT!!

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_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,_

Yay Hugs. Thank you! Here's more questions._  
_**Lee - **There's a lot of pairings with Sakura and Sasuke, and even Sakura and Naruto, how do you feel about that?  
**Gai-** If you had a daughter what would you name her?

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**Lee:** Sakura is too good for that Sasuke! He has a very unyouthful attitude!

**Gai: **I SO AGREE WITH THAT YOUTHFUL ANSWER!!

**Lee:** As for Sakura and Naruto, even **I** can see that wouldn't work out! He is just not her type, unlike me!

**Chewy: **... **1.)** Im glad you can admit that. **2.)** You aren't her type either.

**Lee:** _-is sad-_

**Gai: **If I had a daughter her name would be LEE!

**Lee:**_-is happy-_

**Chewy:** That isn't a girl's name...or at least not a good one.

**Gai: **Oh...GAL!

**Chewy:** It runs in the familyyy... T.T

**Gai: **Huh?

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_**Sora Skye**__ writes_,

Hmm...Well, I have a question or two.

**Lee- **Who do think is the most youthful on your team, besides you and Gai. So, TenTen or Neji? And, which color is best, green or pink?  
**Gai-** Do you find your team superior to Kakashi's?

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**Lee: **Tenten is the most youthful!!!

**Gai:** I AGREE AGAIN!!

**Chewy: **STOP YELLING! Lee-Kun, answer your question!

**Lee:** I cant choose! Pink is the color of my youthful Cherry Blossom's hair, while green is the color of pure YOUTH! Wai!! What if I mixed them together? YOSH!!!

**Chewy:** _-does so- _...the color reminds me of the time I ate that school burrito...

**Gai: **MY TEAM IS MORE YOUTHFUL THAN KAKASHI'S, RAWR!

**Chewy: **..you burst my eardrums...jerk...

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_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,_

**Lee:** If you couldn't be with Sakura, then who would you be with?  
**Gai: **Who do you like?

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**Lee: **Tenten maybe..Neji might hurt me though...Ino is scary..Hinata's too quiet..and Neji would hurt me again...uuhhh...

**Chewy: **ME!!

**Lee: **What? No!! You are not youthful enough!!

**Chewy:** _-kills-_ GAI SENSEI!! Distract the witnesses!

**Gai: **I like my youthful student, LEE!!

**Chewy: **_-drops dead Lee- _I think they meant the OTHER kind of like.

**Gai:** What other kind of like?

**Chewy: **You know, LIKE like.

**Gai:** LIKE like...is it youthful?

**Chewy:** Yes.

**Gai:** SHIZUNE IS YOUTHFUL!

**Chewy:** o.0 Eww...

**Gai: **AS IS EVERYONE ELSE!!

**Chewy: **...EWWWWWW...


	8. Loopholes!

**OMG Im popular! -is hit by her friends- **  
**Friends: NO YOU ARE NOT!**  
**Chewy: Aww...**

* * *

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_**Kiss and Cry **__writes,_

I'm sure if you keep at it, you'll win Sakura's heart .**  
Lee- **Okay, if the world was ending and you had the choice to save ONE person, who would it be Sakura or Gai?**  
Gai- **Why do you find your team more youthful than Kakashi's?

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**Lee: **SAKURA!

**Gai:** _-sob-_

**Lee: **GAI!

**Chewy: **Wai, if the world was ending...everyone but you and the one person would be dead, yes? So...you would have to bring Sakura-chan to revive the human population!!

**Lee:** SAKURA!

**Sakura: **_-comes from nowhere-_ I've told him before, not even if he was the last guy on Earth!!

**Lee:** GAI!

**Chewy: **The population!

**Lee:** ...BOTH?

**Chewy: **CHOOSE ONE!

**Lee:** ...uhh... _-brain splode-_

**Chewy: **...Gai Sensei? Save the fic..please...tell us why your team is more youthful.

**Gai: **BECAUSE IT JUST IS!

**Chewy: **STOP YELLING AND ANSWER THE QUESTION FOR REALS!

**Gai:** FINE! Because Kakashi doesn't train his team in the art of being youthful!

**Lee: **YOSH!

**Chewy: **How does one train for that?

**Lee:** He has us do youthful things, like sing the ever youthful LaLa song whilst he watches and laughs youthfully!

**Chewy:** ...Gai, you're either crazy or evil...probably both.

**Gai: **I prefer 'youthfully minded'. But wouldn't you do the same if you had complete and total control over the non-youthful Neji?

**Chewy:** ...yes.

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_**Fighting Away our Indecisions**__ writes,_

BWAHAHA!! Funny stuff right here.

**Lee-** Have you ever been attacked by a squirrel? And if Sasuke suddenly turned "youthful"(impossible, I know) what would your reaction be?  
**Gai- **What if someone stole all of the green spandex jumpsuits in the world and replaced them with cooler clothes like...baggy black pants and black muscle shirts, or something like that?

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**Chewy: **-begins to laugh as she imagines a squirrel owning Lee-

**Lee: **No, a squirrel has never attacked me! In fact, I have a pet squirrel name PEANUT!

**Chewy: **Dude, you have too many weird pets...first the pony, now this?

**Lee:** The pony ran away.

**Chewy:** Really?

**Lee:** Yeah, for some reason it did right after I showed it it's new spandex suit...  
Anyway, and if Sasuke suddenly became youthfull I would declare that hell had frozen over and run about screaming because THAT JUST ISNT YOUTHFULLL!!

**Chewy:** ...next!

**Gai: **GREEN SPANDEX LEOTARDS!!

**Chewy: **I hate loopholes!

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_**Mattchew**__ writes,_

I LOVE U LEE!  
**1) **Would you go out with me on an extremely youthful run around the world, Lee?  
**2) **Oh, do either one of you guys play World of Warcraft? lol

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**Lee:** FANGIRL!!!!

**Chewy: **...

**Lee: **I would, but at the moment I am trying to get the ever youthful Sakura to go out with me on an equally youthful date!

**Gai: **I dont play online, because I am TOO YOUTHFUL! _-awesome pose with sunset-_  
_**Translation:**__ I didn't understand the controls so I gave up after three minutes._

**Lee:** I used to play, but I soon found that the game was not YOUTHFUL enough for me!_ -equally awesome pose-_  
_**Translation: **__I kept getting owned by everything and everyone so I gave up after a day._

**Chewy: **Im too COOL for that game._ -nice guy pose-_  
_**Translation: **__My computer wont let me play because it sucks and so do I. -emosob-_


	9. My Bishie!

**I have changed the order in which the next to letters were recieved as not to mess with the answer to any questions.**

* * *

**Chewy:** ...RAWR!!

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_**Chibi-Gai **__writes,_

**Lee:** Who do you care about more, Sakura or Gai Sensei?**  
Gai:** What pet would you like and what would you name it?

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**Chewy: **_-looks at Lee expectantly-_

**Lee:** _-looks deep in thought-_

**Gai:** _-is humming the Jeopardy theme song-_

**Lee:** _-still deep in thought-_

**Chewy:** _-is becoming annoyed by Gai's humming-_

**Gai:** _-continues to hum-_

**Lee:** _-his face is turning red-_

**Chewy:**_ -is bashing Gai with a wet noodle-_

**Gai:**_ -is cringing in fear of the wet noodle-_

**Lee: **I GOT IT!

**Gai & Chewy:** Eh?

**Lee: **I care about Gai in the best friend/father kind of way but less than I care about Sakura in the loving kind of way!!!

**Gai: **Oh, Lee!!

**Lee: **Oh, Sensei!!

**Lee & Gai:** _-hugs, sobbing, and a sunset-_

**Chewy:** Wow, he didn't say youthful or youth.

**Lee:**_-sticks head up from scene- _But both equally in a YOUTHFUL kind of way!

**Chewy: **Bah! _-stops the scene-_

**Gai:** I have a pet, it's a big red turtle!_ -summons big red turtle- _I never got around to naming him...

**Turtle: **For the last time!! I AM NOT YOUR PET! _-poofs away-_

**Gai:** Awww...

**Chewy:** Ha-ha!!

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_**Dark Prey of the Underworld **__writes,_

LOL!! Sasuke bashing! I don't like him as well...  
**Lee: **-gives bottle of sake- Enjoy!!**  
Gai Sensei:** -gives apologetic pat on the bag- You'll get married eventually!! XD

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**Chewy: **YOSH!! _-bashes Sasuke when he comes in to kill Lee for that comment about him and Itachi-_

**Sasuke:** WTF! GET OFF ME, WOMEN!

**Lee:** -_looks at bottle in his hands- _... _-smiles-_

**Gai: **YOSH! I will! _-looks at Lee- _Lee! NO!

**Chewy & Gai:** _-run at Lee in slow-mo- _Noooooo-oooo!!!_ -are yelling in slow-mo-_

**Lee:**_-drinks sake in regular motion while Chewy and Gai are still running in slow-mo-_

**Chewy and Gai:** CRAP!! _-Chewy falls down and Gai falls on top, audience makes whooping noises-_

**Chewy: **OMFG!!! I may be a fangirl, but I know this is wrong! Id rather have Lee, anyway!_ -pushes off and begins to run around screaming- _OLD GUY GERMS!

**Gai: **_-is confused- _But...Im...Im youthful..._ -fetal position and crying-_

**Lee: **_-is standing there being a drunk idiot, chews on empty sake bottle-_

**Chewy:** _-is still running in circles- _OLD GUY GERMSSS!!!

**Gai: **_-rocking back and forth in fetal position- _Not old...not old...only 26...not old...still youthful... _-sucks thumb-_

**Lee:** Oooh, my handsh..they i-i-ish aweshome... _-grabs running Chewy-_ Hey..t-there.._ -hic- _b-beautiful...

**Chewy: **OMG! This is my fangirl dream!! _-fangirl faint-_

**Lee:** ... _-tosses her away- _  
Hey, tha- _-hic-_ that table i-ish lookin' at me funneh... _-trashes the table that came from nowhere-_

_Entire scene is filled by an unconscious fangirl, a spandex-clad; bushy-browed teen beating the crap out of a table, and a middle aged man in matching spandex whom is rocking about in fetal position whilst sucking his thumb and mumbling about how he is still young._

**Sasuke:** ...why am I still here?

**Orochimaru: **_-appears and grabs Sasuke- _My bishie!! _-disappears-_


	10. The Strongarm Ninja! or They Have Issues

**As you will see later in this chapter I have finally acquired a taste for a Yaoi couple. -is now a true fangirl..such a proud moment- It's a very compatible, but overlooked crossover couple. If you could please write a fic about them (as I am much to lazy, and haven't watched Fullmetal in a while now) I would worship you forever.**

**Ravenbell wrote the fic I was talking about.**

* * *

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,_

XD. That was awesome. Sasuke is totally Orochimaru's bishie.**  
Lee- **Do you think unicorns are youthful? Do you like chocolate?  
**Gai- **Yosh! You are still young, and youthful! Don't worry, you'll get married one day. Anyways, do you watch any other animes? And if you do, who's your favorite character?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee: **I like CHOCOLATE!

**Chewy: **How about unicorns?

**Lee:** ...

**Chewy: **Not this again...

**Lee: **WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM GAY!?

**Chewy:** ...it's the thing with Gai, go figure. And she didn't say you were gay! She never even mentioned it!!

**Lee: **UNICORNSSSSS!!!

**Chewy: **Men can like unicorns! How about all the...the...the manly unicorns out there?! They are tough and manly and stuffs but still have to put up with being unicorns! THINK ABOUT THE MANLY UNICORNS!!!

**Lee: **You're so right! Only an extremely youthful individual such as a manly unicorn can be youthful! THEREFORE, UNICORNS ARE YOUTHFUL!!

**Chewy: **Gaaayyy...

**Gai: **Did you say my name?

**Chewy:** ...why didn't I notice this resemblance sooner... _-runs off to calculate things-_

**Gai:** I a bit of a fan of Fullmetal Alchemist. My fave character? Major Alex Louis Armstrong the Strong Arm Alchemist!!

**Chewy:** _-has just come back-_ Figures. You two have a lot in common. Lets see.. Easily made to cry, sentimentalism, strength, muscles, posing, and even the shine!! Cant forget the unique hairstyles..oh, I can read from Wikipedia all day!

**Gai: **What?! I...I just think he's youthful... _-fingers together, copies Hinata-_

**Somewhere in Konoha at Some Ramen Shop**

**Hinata:** M-my _**Ripoff Senses**_ are _**t-t-tingling**_...

**Naruto: **WTF!? _-skootches away from Hinata's chair-_

**Back in the Mysterious Room**

**Chewy:** _-bangs head on wall-_ If I start a new crossover Yaoi pairing I want you to kill me, Lee-kun...I just know its gonna happen now, unless it already has! _-runs off to check-_

**Lee:** o.0

**Chewy: **OMG!!! THERE IS ONE!!! THERE IS ONE!!! ONLY **ONE** BUT THERE IS ONE!!! ...its quite good, actually... I think I like this couple. I finally have a Yaoi couple I love! Yosh!! _-smirks at Gai-  
__**Inner Chewy:**__ Gay is a good look for him.._.

**Gai:** ..I am feeling quite uneasy right now...I feel as though her eyes are...are violating me...

**Lee:** Oh god, the unyouthfulness! A NEW FANGIRL FETISH HAS BEEN BORN!


	11. Chewy is a Perv Sometimes

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,_

No, Lee, I didn't mean you were gay! Y'see I was eating chocolate (reason for question 2) and looked up and saw that there was a picture of a unicorn on my wall (question 1) Sorry!  
**Lee-** Do you ever use the internet? If you do, what for?**  
Gai-** I like FMA myself, good choice. What do you think the most youthful type of flower is?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I know, sorry about that. I guess being around an unyouthful fangirl all day isn't good for my youthful mental health. Anyway, I read occasional fanfics, the youthful kind. And mostly just surf around.

**Gai:** You better not be looking at any unyouthful things!

**Lee:** Gai Sensei, how could you think such things!?

**Gai:** You hang out with her!! _-points at Chewy-_

**Chewy: **_-looking at Lee fanfics and sexy fanart- _Hn?

**Lee:** What!? Not by choice!! She is a stalker, stalking is unyouthful!

**Chewy: **_-looks at Lee-_

**Lee:** Leave me alone!!

**Chewy:** _-glomps-_ My bishie!!!!

**Gai:** _-looks at computer-_ Oh, I see...she was reading a really odd fic about you where...you...and...THIS ISN'T YOUTHFUL!!! OMG!! LOOK AT HER DESKTOP!!

**Lee:** ...GET AWAY FROM ME UNYOUTHFUL SIREN OF...UNYOUTHFULNESS! _-tries to push her off-_

**Gai:** Uh.. _-decides to ignore- _Youthful flowers...Lillies! _-cuddles some lillies-_

**Chewy:**_-stops for a minute-_ ...you're my bishie, too!!!! SQUEE! _-is now squeezing them both-_

**Gai & Lee: **Kill us...please, in a youthful way at least... T.T


	12. She Broke Him! OMG

**Didnt update for a while 'cause Im a lazy bastard. Nah, I have just been hit with insomnia and havent slept for nearly two days. --**

**

* * *

**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,  
_Ha! Fangirling is fun, Lee!  
Okay, I wont fangirl, Chewy can glomp him XD.  
**Lee-** What kind of music do you listen to? Who's your favorite music group/singer? **  
Gai-** I haven't said this yet, so I guess I will now. coughs Ehem, I LOVE YOU! Anyway, What do you think of harry Potter? Is he youthful?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I like pop music! Its just so YOUTHFUL!! The Starlight Mints are my fave and their song 'Popsicle' is the best!

**Chewy:** Dude, Smashmouth is way better. That 'Popsicle' song is ever so annoying..

**Lee:** I thought you said you thought it was 'Youthful' as well!

**Chewy: **I like it, but after a while of your playing on the i-pod speakers it can really get to you!!

**Lee:** _-ignores- _Mouth-to-mouth we chow down the pie...

**Chewy: **OMG! Stop singing that!!

**Gai:** YAY!! See, Chewy-chan!? I told you I had real fangirls other than you!!

**Chewy: **Whatever...now make Lee stop!!! AND WHEN THE HELL DD YOU START CALLING ME THAT!?

**Gai: **Somebody's cranky...and that wouldn't be youthful! Anyway, Harry Potter is pretty youthful. I like his hair!!

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death **__writes,_

**Lee-** Can I take pictures of you and Gaara for my yaoi collection?**  
Gai- **Did you ever notice your name is one letter away from GAY?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **How many times have I told you people! I AM NOT G-

**Chewy:** _-covers his mouth- _OMG!! YOSH!

**Gaara:**_ -appears-_ Huh?_ -is suddenly tied to Lee facing him- _WTH!?!

**Chewy:**_-snaps a picture- _Yay! -Gaara disappears to plot revenge-

**Gai: **Yes, I have...Chewy-chan over there makes an unyouthful point of it..

**Chewy:** Yes I do!! _-is proud- _

**Gai:** Right... _-is sulking-_

**Chewy:** You're too easy!! _-glomps the sulking Gai-_

**Gai:** Whatever... _-too depressed to struggle-_


	13. Gai is a Pedophile

**Still have insomnia...that makes it a week of no sleep now...**

* * *

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,_

Thank you Chewy  
**Lee-** will you date Gaara? If you don't I'll hunt you down and force you.**  
Gai- **Are you mad at me?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** OMG! I AM N-

**Chewy: **_-snaps fingers and Lee is suddenly tied up in a chair, and Gaara is as well-_

**Lee:** When did he get back here!?

**Chewy: **_-pushes them up to some fancy dinner table that came from nowhere with candles and everything-_

**Sasuke:** _-is playing violin beautifully while chained to Orochimaru-_

**Lee & Gaara:**_ -forced to sit across from each other, the lights dim over their table-_ WTF!?

**Gai: **_-in a waiter uniform- _May I serve the youthful gentlemen some of our finest wine?

**Lee:** Gai Sensei!? TRAITOR!!! ...and you know I can not have wine.

**Gai: **She is paying me! And its not real wine, she is quite unyouthful and got the cheapest stuff she could. APPLE CIDER!!!_ -hisses menacingly-_

**Gaara:** I like apple cider...

**Lee: **GETMEOUTOFTHISCHAIR!!!

**Chewy: **Nevah!! Gai, weren't you supposed to do something?

**Gai:** Oh, yeah. Grudges are not youthful!! YOSH!!

**Lee: **_-whimper-_

**Gaara:** This cider is quite tasty...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire2.6**__ writes,_

Haha. Lee, your such a kidder, pretending you don't like Gaara. Anyway...**  
Lee: **Exactly how fast can you run, like, in miles per hour?  
**Gai: **Do you feel Lee's butt when you do those fangirl hugs? 'Cause he's loving the Sandman, Gaara. Not a fangirl. I'm out.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **If it gets me out of this chair, I can run around 135 mph. Now lemme ooouuuuttttt!!!

**Chewy: **No.

**Lee:** Unyouthful little...

**Gai:** They aren't fangirl hugs, they are youth-hugs...

**Chewy:** Right..

**Gai:** ...

**Chewy: **...

**Gai: **...

**Chewy:** TALK!

**Gai:** ...I- ...I dont grope him!!

**Chewy: **Hesitation, much?

**Gai:** That means nothing...

**Chewy:** Suuurree it doesnt, and Lee and Gaara aren't making out.

**Gai:** YOUTH MAKING OUT!? WHERE!!?!?!

**Chewy: **Oh you little pedophile, you...

**Gai: **Pedophiling is not youthful!! I dont! I just want to..to-to stop the youth from being unyouthful!! That's it!

**Chewy:** You dirty, dirty man...

**Gai:** You ruined my mind with that unyouthful reading of lemons!!!

**Chewy:** That's only every now and then, very rare!! I thought we had something special, anyway!!!

**Gai: **I- Wait, what?

**Chewy:** ...

**Gai:** Ummm...

**Chewy: **_-sees that there was a gas leak-_ ..this never happened. _-patches the leak-_

**Gai: **I agree...

**Chewy: **Want a smoothie?

**Gai: **I YOUTHFULLY ACCEPT!! _-walks out door with Chewy __Wizard of Oz__ style-_

**Gaara:** That's just wrong. He sais he's no pedophile and she's, like, 15 or something... _-has his face in a bowl of cider, still tied to chair-_

**Lee:** I want just want freedom and a smoothie... _-emosob-_

**Gaara: **Stupid emo. _-back to cider-_

**Sasuke:** WHY THE HELL AM I CHAINED TO OROCHIMARU!?

**Orochimaru:** Because you're my bishie!! _-disappears with Sasuke like Batman or something badass like that-_


	14. Lee is a Smoothie Drinking Crybaby

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,  
_Lemons can kill. XD Anyway,  
**Lee-** If you could have one superpower, what would it be?**  
Gai-** Have you ever been in love?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** I would either fly or be invincible!!

**Chewy: **Flying Lee-kun would be so win!! Invincibility would be cheating, anyway.

**Lee:** I want to fly then!!!

**Chewy: **Then you shall!!_ -makes Lee able to fly-_

**Lee:** OH EM GEE!!_ -flies around-_ I AM SO YOUTHFULLY WIN!!

**Chewy: **And...you're done._ -Lee falls to floor-_

**Lee: **I dislike you very much..

**Chewy:** Aww! I dis**like** you, too!! _-hugz- _How about you, Gai Sensei?

**Gai: **YOSH!!

**Chewy: **With who?

**Gai: **I LOVE EVERYONE!!_ -nice Gai pose-_

**Chewy: **Gai, that's just eww. And no more Pixie Stixs for you guys! They make you act like kids.

**Gai & Lee: **Awww...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** Do you like apple cider**?  
Gai-** Are you in love with someone?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** YOSH, I DO!!

**Chewy:** Then why didn't you drink that cider I gave you on you're 'date' with Gaara?

**Lee:** Two reasons! **(1) **That wasnt a date!! **(2) **It was expired, and expired foods are unyouthful!

**Chewy:** So, that's where Gaara went? He's...

**Lee: **Yeah.

**Chewy:** ...Ill get my camera.

**-After Many Blackmail Photos Later-**

**Chewy & Lee: **YOSH!!

**Gai: **Im not in love with anyone!

**Chewy: **Are too!

**Gai:** Are not!

**Chewy: **Are.

**Gai: **Not.

**Chewy:** Are.

**Gai: **Not.

**Chewy: **Not..

**Gai:** Are!

**Chewy: **Aha!!!!

**Gai: **What!? You are so unyouthful, you cheater!!!

**Chewy:** ADMIT IT!!

**Gai:** THE HONORABLE GAI SENSEI LOVES NO ONE!!! RAWR!!!

**Lee: **Wha...? _Sniffle_...

**Chewy: **Gai Sensei! You know Lee is sensitive!!!

**Gai:** Lee!? I didn't mean it like that! I meant in the relationship type of love! Not family...er, student...youthful...son...love kind of...thing!

**Lee: **Eh-eh...waaaahhhh!! GAI SENSEI HATES MEEEEEE!!! _-sobbing like a baby-_

**Chewy:** Now you've done it!! -cuddles Lee- Shhh, Ill make the bad man go away...just shush... _-attacks Gai-_

**Gai: **_-is half dead-_

**Chewy: **Feel better now, Lee-kun? _-hugs in an aww kind of moment kind of way-_

**Lee:**_-sniffles- _I would feel even better..._sniff_...if...if I had a smoothie.

**Chewy:**_ -gives him a smoothie-_

**Lee: **Squee! ... Could it have whipped cream and a bendy straw, too?

**Chewy:** Dont push it._-gets a smoothie and goes to poke Gai with a stick-_


	15. Gai is Manly, No Questions Asked

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**CatNipped**__ writes,  
_w00t lol to many Lee**x**Gaara fans, we need more Gai**x**Lee love lol XD  
**Lee-Chan**- Why do you like curry so much?  
**Gai-Kun**- What started the whole bowl-cut and green jumpsuit look?  
plus i loves you soo much Gai-kun ♥ _-glomps-  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee: **Because it is youthfully tasty!!!

**Chewy: **I've never had curry...maybe I should try it.

**Lee:** YOU SHOULD!!!

**Chewy: **Then next time I order Chinese, I shall!!

**Lee: **NO!! Try it NOW!! _-shoves super-spicy curry down her throat-_

**Chewy: **o.0 -chews and swallows- ...its spicy...so spicy...

**Lee:** Yosh!! That was curry I made myself with every spice in my cabinet!

**Chewy:** TOO SPICY!!! _-runs around screaming-_

**Gai:** I tried every possible and youthful look when I was younger, and bowl cut just seemed to work the most youthfully. And for the jumpsuit, I just liked it better than having to have so many unyouthful pairs of pants and shirts. AND GREEN IS UBER YOUTHFUL!!_ -nice Gai pose-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**spirit of fire 2.6**__writes,  
_**Lee:** In chapter one you said there was "STUFF" you had to do that prevented you from doing this fic. What was it?  
**Gai: **Why are you so worried about what people make of your sexuality? Truly manly//youthful people are secure enough that they don't care. Does this mean your nether manly nor youthful?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** ...youthful stuff..

**Chewy:** Lee-kun, you would never just make something up to avoid me..would you?

**Lee:** ...no, as I am too fearful of your terrible and unyouthful wrath.

**Chewy: **UNYOUTHFUL!?

**Lee:** Did I say that!? I meant to say youthful! YOUTHFUL!!

**Chewy: **I win!! Gai Sensei, your turn!!

**Gai:** Well, there are so many misconceptions about it...what with my youthful posing and...well, Im not insecure...Im manly and youthful...I mean...uhhh...

**Chewy: **Oh yeah! They got you there!!

**Gai:** No they didn't...

**Chewy:** You got burrrnnneeedddd!!!

**Gai:** Nuh-uh...

**Chewy:** Ya-huh! You may indeed be youthful, but manly!? Far from it!!

**Gai: **How dare you insult my manliness!!! Look into my manly features and say that agin!!!

**Chewy:** I didn't get that when you said that to Sasuke, and I dont get it now...

**Gai:** 500 YOWLS OF ADOLESCENCE!! -weird pose like he did on the red turtle-

**Chewy: **Nor did I understand that when I saw it in the subtitles for episode 22...how that translates into '500 laps around Konoha', Ill never know...

**Gai: **Im weird, okay?

**Chewy:** That's your excuse for everything, you youthful un-manly freak!

**Gai: **THAT'S IT!! _-kills Chewy-_

**Lee:** Gai Sensei can get angry!? OMG-NO-WAI!!!


	16. Chewy is Still a Perv

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,  
__(comment from last chapter) _  
No Lee dun cry even if it's already over! _-hugs Lee-  
_Okay, I have the same question for both of you.**  
Lee and Gai-** Who would you consider your best friend? (besides each other)  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** Tenten?

**Chewy: **She is annoyed by you.

**Lee: **Neji?

**Chewy: **He hates you.

**Lee:** Sasuke?

**Chewy:** So does he.

**Lee:** Sakura!?

**Chewy:** I believe she is avoiding you.

**Lee:** ...Naruto?

**Chewy:** That sounds better, Bushy Brows!!

**Lee: **...

**Gai:** KAKASHI!!!

**Chewy:** KAKASHI!!!_ -glomps Kakashi-_

**Kakashi: **WTF!? STAY BACK!! _-holds out open Icha Icha Paradise-_

**Gai: **The perviness!! IT BURNS US!! _-ducks-_

**Chewy: **Hmm... _-takes the book and reads-_ Its quite good, Jiraiya writes this, yes?

**Kakashi: **Yes, he does. Look at chapter 15!

**Chewy: **..this is what you showed Gai?

**Kakashi: **Yes.

**Chewy:** ...its got a good story, and bothers Gai..may I have a copy?

**Kakashi: **YES!! _-gives her a copy-_

**Chewy: **_-reads eagerly-_ Lemons sooo cant kill...

**Lee:**_-looks over shoulder all innocent- _o.0 _-dies-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee- **How do you feel having so many gay parings?**  
Gai-** Do you like being pared up with your students?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:**_ -wakes up from death-_ I dont like it...

**Chewy: **Hai! Lee-kun is Sakura's forever!

**Sakura:** And I thought you were cool...

**Chewy:** Dont make me make you two kiss!

**Sakura: **Ill be good...

**Lee:** Awww...

**Chewy:** ... If it makes you happy, Lee-kun!!_ -uses author magic to make them kiss all passionately-_

**Lee:** _-is stunned- _...YOSH!! THANK YOU KAMI!!!

**Chewy:** Im the one who did it...I'd do more, too, if I could just write a decent fluff for once.

**Sakura:** EWWWW!!! _-dies-_

**Chewy: **Stupid Sakura, you know Lee is the one for you!! ...even if I do like a speck of Lee and Neji action every now and again...Gaara works too, but its sooo overdone...

**Lee:** What!?

**Chewy:** ...Gai Sensei, your views!!_ -looks all innocent-_

**Gai:** Im not really a fan of the pairings, but I wont stop the youthful fanfiction writers to stop. It is just fanfiction, right? _-nice Gai pose-_

**Chewy:** And LeeGai isn't a fave for me...one of the few ones I wont read...even though I can see why people would think that, I just think they are more of a father and son kind of thing.


	17. OMG, Bodysnatcher!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_First off. If there is any talk of youthfulness, my dogs will rip you apart.  
**1)** What is your favorite non anime show?  
**2)** What is your favorite sport?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Gai:** I rarely watch TV, its not you-

**Chewy: **SHUSH! I wish not be devoured by dogs!

**Gai: **But-but...Ill die!

**Lee:** ...Will and Grace?

**Chewy:** I LOVE THAT SHOW!! _-glomps-_

**Gai:** ... _-dies-_

**Lee:** ..and I like Track Running?

**Chewy:** YAY! Gai prolly liked the same..but at least you survived Lee-kun!!

**Lee:** ... _-dies-_

**Chewy: **Aww... _-steals their bodies and runs off-_

**Sasuke:** BODY SNATCHER!!!

**Orochimaru:** Did somebody say my name?

**Sasuke:** No...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**o.OminiO.o**__ writes,  
_UNCHAIN SASSY FROM OROCHIMARU THIS INSTANT! if you really must chain him to someone, make it Naru-chan...ANYWAY!

**Both-** Why is youth so important to you guys? I mean, it's so not cool. Screaming about youth is gay and... creepy. Get a life.  
MINUS THE YOUTH, you guys rule! Go Gai and Lee! (not paired...ew...)  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** Awww, but I like him chained to Oro. ...IDEA!! This should make us both happy..or at least half happy. Or not.

**Sasuke:** ..Im still here?

**Chewy:** Yes, Im making you a permanent fixture. Your emoness really brings out the wallpaper.

**Sasuke:** WHAT WALLPAPER!? The walls are friggin' white!!

**Chewy:** ..its white wallpaper. Anyway, my idea is...

**Orochimaru: **Dont I bring out anything?

**Chewy:** Yes, your pedophile-ness brings out the emo-ness in Sasuke, which in turn brings out the color of the wallpaper, which in turn makes Lee a bit jittery because he hates white walls, and in turn this gives Lee more energy, which Gai then sucks out in their man-hugs along with some of his youth to keep himself looking youthful, and therefore Gai gains more energy as well as becoming more youthful, and this all leads to both Gai and Lee both being uberly awesome while you and Oro provide the bishie-ness since Lee is not exactly a 'bishie' but is still hotter than you and considered my personal bishie.

**Sasuke:** What? Lee isn't hotter than me...and Gai doesnt suck out and use Lee's--

**Gai:** _-has been revived-_ Actually...I kinda do.

**Sasuke:** o.o Dude...

**Lee: **You **what**!?

**Gai: **-shifty eyes- This is Chewy-chan we are talking about!! She liiieeessss!!!

**Lee:** Oh, okay. I believe you Gai Sensei! YOSH!! _-nice guy pose and man hug of DOOM, erm, YOUTH-_

**Chewy: **Now before anyone interrupts me... MYIDEAISTOCHAINNARUTOTOSASUKEANDCHAINSASUKETOOROCHIMARU!!!

**Sasuke:** Wait, what? _-is now chained to Naruto and Oro on either side- _OH,** HELL** NO!!

**Chewy: **For that, I am now naming you Sas**gay** for the rest of this episode.

**Sas****gay** Well, oh goodie...

**Naruto: **Dattebayo!!!

**Chewy:** Heh, keep Sasgay occupied with Sexy Jutsu while Gai answers the question after this terribly long...thing I did.

**Naruto: **YAY! _-sexy no-jutsu, Sas__gay__ nosebleeds then feints of embarrassment from nosebleeding at Naruto-_

**Gai:** But...I am youthful, and people must be reminded of this. .._ -sob-_

**Chewy:** Because they think you aren't and you want to to think you are, that's why.

**Gai:** ...nuh-uh...

**Lee:** YOUTH IS NOT GAY OR CREEPY!!! YARSFDFDF!!

**Chewy:** ..it is, sorta. At least that was. But, without it you arent as funny. What else would you scream about, spandex? Now THAT'S creepy. XD ...although, Gai does seem gay.

**Lee:** Nuh-uh...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Kairi Uzeniba**__ writes,  
_LOL!! Literally, lol! I luv this so much!**  
Lee:** I am a former you fangirl! I'd luved you for like 8 months, seriously. Anyway...will you kiss my OC? P.S.: Sorry, I don't think you should be with Sakura! She isn't youthful enough!  
**Gai:** You're not gay! If you heard someone was about to kill Lee unless you never wore green jumpsuits again, what would you do?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** No, I shall save my first kiss for the ever youthful blossom, Sa-

**Chewy:** _-kisses Lee-_ There, now you dont have to. So, do it.

**Lee:** Fine, I have to burn my mouth now because your's reminded me of that taste you get in your mouth when you drink orange juice and brush your teeth...and by the way, for that, you should try not to leave your door unlocked for the next ten years. _-kisses her OC-_

**Chewy: **Yee!! And Ill ingore that last comment! I've been yur fangirl for this whole year, because I didn't get really into Naruto for a while due to my moving and not having TV for almost two years...but I got DVDs of yur eps since my computer wont load squat.. Today's episode has you NAKEDS...sorta. Hopefully I wont miss it, but if I do I've always got next Saturday to see it.

**Lee:** Oh, god no...

**Chewy:** You sound like Sasgay...

**Sasgay:** Oh come on!! You wont change it back!?!

**Chewy:** Bad emo! BAD!! _-smacks with newspaper-_

**Sasgay: **Ill be good...weird tall Lee guy person, answer your question so I can get this over with.

**Gai:** LEOTARDS, BECAUSE LOOPHOLES HELP EVERYTHING!!!!

**Chewy:** Your not gunna forget that, are you?

**Gai: **Not at all.

**Sasgay: **Done yet?

**Naruto: **_-still chained to Sasgay-_I feel left out...

**Chewy:** Ill let you have the last line of speech. Sasgay, you may do something after Naruto.

**Naruto:** YAY!!

**Chewy: **Say it!!

**Naruto:** MY BISHIE!!!!!! _-glomps Sas__gay__ while Oro glomps him too-_

**Sasgay: **_-tries to shoot self, Chewy made him invincible and he sobs in the arms of Naruto and Oro-_


	18. Chewy is Sad

**Chewy:** LEEE!! Today's episode showed you half naked, (score!) but then it made me cryyyy!!

**Lee:** How was that?

**Chewy: **Well, first it was awesomely funny because Gai seemed to have gone crazy and stuff...

**Gai: **You would, too if your only loved one was stuck in the hospital.

**Chewy: **Whatever, I know thats not why. Your Gai and without Lee you are nothing! _NOTHING_!!! And thats why you tried so desperately to make Naruto your replacement Lee.

**Gai: **It could still happen...he still has that suit..

**Chewy:** Right...anyway, and then Tsunade made Lee depressed about the surgery and you got angry and went crazy more and there was sad music (and he put his shirt back on, un-score) then he hobbled away all sad-like and then I started to cryyyy, because he gave up 'n stuffs..._ -is crying-_

**Lee:** That was sad...now I am crying!! _-is hugging Chewy in a crying fit-_

**Gai:** .. _-is watching them cry toget her- _..no matter how wimpy that is, the memories have made me cry as well!! _-joins in on the crying mass-_

**Sasuke:** _-still on Oro, Naruto has disapeered-_ I hate you guys..

**Orochimaru: **Hissss...

**Sasuke:** Was that supposed to help anything?

**Orochimaru:** ...no, not really.

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**_spirit of fire 2.6_**_ writes,  
_Nice, really liked that last chapter. Anyway.  
**Lee: **Who other then Gai do you think is the best sensei and why?  
**Gai: **Who other then Lee do you think is the best student and why?  
**Both: **Which village (other then konoha) do you think is the best and why?  
**PS:** Try to answer without saying youth (insert endings) more then three times each.  
**PSS:** If you do I'll return to questioning your sexual preferences and manliness.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** Kakashi Sensei? I guess, because he is a strong, youthful, and formidable rival for Gai Sensei! YOSH!_ -nice guy pose-_

**Gai:** Oh, that makes me feel real good, knowing my student would run to Kakashi if I was not here..

**Lee:** You dont think it is good?

**Gai:** Im fine with it, but I just feel betrayed!! You would look so unyouthful in Kakashi's clothing!!_-dramatic pose-_

**Chewy:** I dont think Lee would...

**Lee:** Oh, Gai Sensei!! I-I am so sorry!!

**Gai:** Lee!!

**Lee:** Gai Sensei!!

**Gai:** LEE!!

**Lee:** GAI SENSEI!!! -hug in sunset-

**Chewy: **...this fic really doesnt have enough of those.

**Gai:** _-drops Lee- _And I am unsure about the other Genin there are, but in my group I would have to say Neji because he is the only other youthful student on my team!

**Chewy:** Aren't you forgetting some one?

**Gai:** No, I dont think I am.

**Chewy:** A certain female, brown hair. Brown eyes. Lots of metal pointy things. Ring any bells?

**Gai:** Uhh...no? _-is hit from a million weapons from nowhere-_

**Chewy: **TENTEN!! I thought I told you to get out of the air ducts!!!

**Tenten:** _-voice from nowhere- _Im not in the air ducts! Im in the ceiling tiles!!

**Chewy:** _-yelling to the ceiling-_ Oh, thats okay then! When you were in the air ducts it was just getting hot in here!

**Tenten:** _-yelling through ceiling-_ Sorry about that though, is Gai Sensei okay?

**Chewy:** _-checks pulse-_ Yeah, he's breathing!!

**Tenten: **Okay! See you when I see you!! _-walking noises above ceiling slowly fade away-_

**Lee:** Maybe Sunagakure? It's the only other village I know of...

**Gai:** Same here.

**Sasuke:** There is the Sound Village...

**Chewy:** Yeah, but they suck...

**Orochimaru:** Well...you smell funny!!


	19. Gai is a Father

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_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** I think you would look good with Kakashi's clothes, can you try them on? Please?!  
**Gai- **Why do you always forget about TenTen?

I agree with Chewy, that episode was sad. _-sniffle-  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy: **Wasnt it? I just know the next eps about them will make me cry too. And if they do a flashback, Im gunna lose it! I didn't expect Gai to be going _**that **_crazy about it all. I love how dramatic he gets, though it is sad...and makes me cry too! _-cries-_

**Lee: **_-ignores-_ Very well!! -is wearing Kakashi's clothes, minus the vest-

**Gai: **Lee!! How could you!! _-sobbing-_

**Chewy:** How did you spike your hair so suddenly? ..and with one of your eyes covered...you look a bit creepy.. I mean, its wide open, and looking right at me...its less creepy with both. O.o

**Lee:** _-stares intently-_

**Chewy:** Stop it!! _-screams- _I miss the super-tight spandex!! At least then I could see that six pack of your's! And this makes me use my imagination, I hate doing that! At least the spandex left so little to my imagination...

**Lee:** Thats just wrong... _-is back in spandex- _If I did not hate to see Gai Sensei cry like this, I would stop wearing spandex for good...you pervert.

**Chewy:** Nya! ..and I just noticed, there aren't any good fics rated **M** for Gai...they all involve men. Well, one doesnt but its too out of character. Cant some one write a good** M** rated ShizGai fic, or something pairing him with a women? (No, no Teacher-Student fics allowed)

**Gai:** ...I am going to forget you even read that stuff...yet, I cant help but be insulted by the lack of non-gay fics... RAWR!!!

**Chewy**: ...

**Gai: **Wait, who is Tenten?_ -hit with bajillions of weapons from nowhere-_

**Chewy: **... _-yells at ceiling-_ I think you killed him this time!

**Tenten: **No I didn't! He's getting up!!

**Chewy:**_ -looks-_ Oh, okay!

**Gai: **ILL GET YOU, UNYOUTHFUL WEAPON MISTRESS OF DOOMY DOOM!!!!!

**Chewy:** ...he cant even tell she is his student...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Youthninja**__ writes,  
_You two Rock!  
**Lee:** Have you ever tried to make Neji wear Spandex? What was his reaction?  
**Gai:** Why don't you adopt Lee? You both live alone.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** Heh..Rock Lee rocks..

**Lee: **Yosh, I have!! And, being an unyouthful Hyuuga, he did not accept and preceded to beat me into the ground!!!!

**Chewy:** Poor Lee! Need a hug?

**Lee:** No, Im fine.. _-skootches away- _

**Gai:** That is a great idea! Lee, I shall adopt you!!!!!

**Chewy:** Doesnt Lee have a family?

**Gai:** I dunno. Do you, Lee?

**Lee:** I honestly do not know... o.o

**Gai: **Then it is settled!! You are now my son!!!!

**Chewy:** Aren't there papers you need to sign?

**Gai:** No, everyone already thinks he is my illegimate son anyway.

**Lee:** They do? Am I?

**Gai: **I dont even know where kids come from!!

**Chewy: **You what?!?!

**Gai: **_-ignores-_ And you can live in the spare room!! Its green!!!!

**Lee:** YOSH!! I love you, Dad!

**Chewy:** ...stick to calling him sensei...and never tell him you 'love' him ever again.. Its scary..

**Gai: **She is right! That way it will not interfere with our training!! If anyone asks, we are only sharing a house for the avoiding of rent on your apartment!!!

**Chewy: **I didn't mean- oh, whatever.

**Sasuke: **_-is hanging from the ceiling next to Orochimaru- _..Im still here?

**Chewy:** Yes.

**Sasuke:** ..as a chandelier?

**Chewy: **Yes. Hey!!! That rhymed!

**Orochimaru:** _-glomps Sasuke-_ Ssssaaasuke's a poet, and he didn't even know it!


	20. Chewy Has a dirty Mouth, Or Is It Mind?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** How do u not know who your parents r!?**  
Gai-** When u were little who were your team mates and sensei?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** I dont know, like Tenten doesnt know her last name. She might, she might not. We will never know until we know. The unyouthful creators are lazy or saving it for some kind of plot...

**Tenten:** The hell they are!!!

**Chewy: **Hey, Lee-san...?

**Lee:** ...I thought it was -kun.

**Chewy:** I like -san. Anyway, why do your legs look so long in that pic of you in the Part II?

**Lee:** Lemme see.._ -looks at picture-_ Dude, they are longer!!! And I got a tactical vest vest, just like Sensei!!!! I AM SO YOUTHFULLY HAPPY!!!

**Chewy:** Well, I guess you do look a bit hotter...but, your arms are so small...and I can no longer see your chest in that uber tight vest!!_ -panic attack-_

**Lee:** ..I WIN!!!!! _-does the Cabbage Patch-_

**Gai:** I had two teammates! One was female and the other was male!!

**Chewy:** Duh.

**Lee: **Cabbage Patch!! Cabbage Patch!! _-does the Cabbage Patch-_

**Gai: **The girl was very youthful and beautiful with her red eyes! The boy did not seem to like me and was very lazy and sucked on lollipops a lot! Our sensei was wonderful as well! He wore green clothing (not spandex, though) and had youthful eyebrows and a bowl cut like myself! Only unyouthful thing was that he smoked a lot, and that rubbed off on my teammate whom replaced the candy...

**Chewy: **Oh my god...so your teammates were..like, really...

**Gai:** ...so? Who else would be in their team? Anko? Ebisu? Some other person I know not of? Why the unyouthfullness would I not be on their team?!?

**Chewy:** I suppose it would make sense..you are all very close in age...and Lee is a year younger than his teammates due to his birth month..so that could mean the same for you...wait, I just noticed!! You are a New Years baby!! Yay!!

**Gai:** I always get that! JUST BECAUSE I WAS BORN ON NEW YEARS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM A NEW YEARS BABY!

**Lee:** Honorable Sensei, I am sorry, but it kinda does...

**Chewy: **Hutsay puay Eelay, Aigay illway illkay suay fiay uoyay eseatay imhay... _-pig latin-_

**Lee:** What?

**Gai:** _-slowly looks at them with tank noises and an odd face like Sakura did in that episode where they met the Sand Sibs before the exams-_

**Chewy & Lee:** ... _-slowly begin to move away-_

**Gai:** _-watches for a moment before suddenly running at them from a distance and gets closer like Sakura did in..oh, you get it- _

**Chewy & Lee:** AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!_ -run away and bump into Kankuro-_

**Kankuro:** What do you want?

**Chewy and Lee:** ... _-look back at Gai-_

**Gai: **_-still coming to kill them-_

**Chewy & Lee: **SORRY BUTS WE GOTS TO GOES!!!! _-run over Kankuro and trip on his funny cat-ears-_

**Gai: **_-catches up with them, kills them-_

**Lee: **Our last words shall be...

**Chewy:** F---- you, Kankuro!! Slowing us down and stuffs.. _-dies-_


	21. Like Author, Like Sage

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Cuddlelove**__ writes,  
_Great job Chewy! You portray our favorite green-clad heros so perfectly! Could you do me a favor and use Sasuke as a youthful pinata? is too lazy to cut and paste proper n-with-tilde It would really make my day--I just love Sasuke-bashing, literally and figuratively.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** Not a question, but so worth it to post because I love compliments! XD

**Sasuke:** _-still on ceiling- _So, you wont do it?

**Chewy: **_-is moving Orochimaru a bit further from Sasuke-_ Noooo...

**Sasuke: **You're sure you wont?

**Chewy: **Im suuurrreee... _-gestures to some one behind Sasuke-_

**Sasuke:** ... _-looks behind and is smacked by Chewy with a large stick-_ I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T!!

**Chewy:** WELL I LIED!! LOLOLOLOL

**Lee:** My turn!! _-is blindfolded and smashes Sasuke a million times-_

**Gai:** Yaaaayyy!!! _-smashes Sasuke around- _OMG LOOK!!! CANDY!!!

**Chewy:** Scrambles!!! _-everyone fights for candy, Chewy gets a piece of gum-_

**Gai:** _-has some pop rocks-_

**Chewy:**_ -gives Gai soda, but he saw that one movie and didn't drink it-_

**Lee:** _-he got a rock...get it? a ROCK, for ROCK Lee...heh..- _

**Chewy: **Aww..._ -gives Lee a sucker-_

**Lee: **Yosh!! _-eats sucker while Chewy secretly puts gum in his hair-_

**Chewy & Gai:** _-giggling-_

**Lee:** What? _-oblivious-_

**Chewy & Gai:** Nootthhiinnggg... _-sweet faces-_

**Lee:** O...kay..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Cuddlelove**__ writes (again),  
_I'll ask Gai Sesnei's question first, just to be different .**  
Gai:** Do you have any non ninja- or Kakashi -related hobbies? Maybe like embroidering or collecting something?**  
Lee:** If you could use chakra, would you master the Sexy-no-Jutsu?  
**Both: **If you guys could be anything other than ninjas, what would you be? How often do you wash your jumpsuits? And would you mind hugging again? Pretty please?

I hope Sakura gives you a chance once she discovers how lame Sasuke is, Lee-kun! You're the sweetest guy in Konoha! Either way, I wouldn't recommend going to Gai-sensei for love advice.  
_-sweatdrops-  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**  
Lee:** _-mumbling as he rubs peanut butter into his hair-_

**Gai: **I said sorry!! Anyway..I guess I collect ceramic turtles..

**Chewy:** Ceramic...turtles...??

**Gai: **Turtles are youthful and stuffs...and I like their pretty shells..

**Lee:** _-has gum out of hair, holding a mirror- _I am pretty...oh so pretty...oh so pretty and witty and g-

**Chewy:** SHUSH!! Answer, now!!

**Lee:** Sexy-no-Jutsu? That thing Naruto does where he turns into a-

**Chewy:** ..yes.

**Lee: **OF COARSE!!!

**Chewy:** I was soo not expecting that! I thought you were the pure one!! _-oh noesssss-_

**Lee:** I am, but to youthfully surpass my opponents I must master their Jutsu's so I can fully understand their fighting styles!!

**Chewy: **How...? You cant mold chakra.

**Lee:** Oh, why dont you just poor salt in my wounds..

**Chuint:** ...

**Gai: **I would be...a FOOTBALL PLAYER!!!

**Lee:** I would be...A DENTIST!!!

**Gai:** No!! Dentists are not youthful!!!

**Lee:** Then I shall go to the Land of Misfit Ninjas and...oh, just screw it. Im not doing this.

**Chewy:** Awwww...I wanted to see Shika, the red nosed Chunin...

_**

* * *

**__**-Somewhere else in Konoha-**_

**Shikamaru:** ..my Shika-Is-Being-Called-A-Deer senses are tingling...

**Naruto:** EVERYONE IS GOING CRAZY!!!  
**

* * *

**

**Gai:** We have many jumpsuits!! SO MANY WE HAVE NO NEED TO WASH THEM!!

**Lee:** NOOO NEEEDDD...

**Chewy:** ...shut up.

**Lee:** I dont need a hug. Doing too many manly hugs is bad for your youthful you-

**Chewy:** _-kicks Lee in a place one shouldn't be kicking Lee in- _

**Lee:** Owaaaahhh!!! _-squeaky voice- _Gai..Sensei!!! She..she kicked me in my youth!!!

**Gai:** Oh, Lee!!!! How dare she damage your youth!!!!

**Chewy:** _-feels dirty for listening in on this...as if she wasnt already-_

**Lee:** _-recovered somehow omg-_ Gai Sensei!!!

**Gai: **LEEEEE!!!!!

**Lee:** GAI SENSEEEEIIII!!!!!!

**Gai:** _-hugs with all that youthful goodness-_

**Chewy:** Yay!!

**Gai:** Now...

**Lee:** For...

**Gai:** Revenge!!! _-kicks Chewy with no effect- _Wait, why didn't that work?

**Chewy:** Hah!!! And Lee-san, listen to Cuddlelove.  
This is kinda proof that one should not go to Gai for girl advice..he doesnt understand them in so many ways...although, I do think he broke my hip...or my tail-bone...I cant tell.

**Gai: **GIRLS LIKE DEAD FROGS!!!

**Lee:** HAI, I SHALL GO FOURTH AND GIVE SAKURA ONE!!!

**Jiraiya: **OMG HOW DARE YOU!!!

**Chewy: **Toad Sage. TOAD Sage.

**Jiraiya:** Oh yeah. Then Ill be seeing you at the hot springs!!_ -poofs away-_

**Gai:** ...ewww..

**Chew:** No!! It isn't like that, he watch- erm -I mean, RESEARCHES the females there while I RESEARCH the men for him! Jiraiya just doesnt like looking at- grreh -RESEARCHING other men...yeah.

**Lee:** _-is being killed by Sakura in the background, nobody seems to care anymore-_


	22. Chewy Goes Too Far In So Many Ways

**Chewy:** Gai should have fun with this one.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** Do you like to be pared with Tenten?  
**Gai**- How do you not know about sex or women?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I suppose it is better than Gaara...she is female, right?? _-uber secret ceiling-ninja attack no-jutsu-_

**Chew:** TENTEN!! You can hit me, you can hit Sensei (though, I dont like you to), you can even hit everyone else!! BUT, when you hit LEE, I will get my revenge!!!!!! RAWRSDSFDS!!!!

**Lee:** Umm, I am okay. Remember? No matter what bad luck happens to me, I never unyouthfully die!! YOSHNESS!!1!!

**Chewy:** Oh, kk.

**Gai: **Well...I, um...you see, women dont seem to like me, so I never...ummmm...I've never experienced...errr...

**Chewy:** OMG, HE'S A-A...!!!

**Lee:** Sensei!?!! You are... _-wtf look-_

**Gai:** SO ARE YOU TWO!!!

**Chewy:** ...so? We aren't almost 30.

**Gai:** _-shot down-_ Awwww...but Im still youthful, right?

**Lee: **I suppose...

**Chewy:** ...not.

**Gai:** _-dies-_

**Chewy: **_-almost cries, but then gets on a computer- _Lee, this reminds me...

**Lee: **_-stops sobbing over Gai-_ What?

**Chewy: **Here it is... Is this pic I found on Deviantart right?

**Lee:**_ -looks-_ ...I AM NAKED!!!! WHY IS THIS ON YOUR FAVES!?!!?!

**Chewy: **Almost, see that blanket covering your...y'know?

**Lee:** ...YEAH BUT MY LEG IS IN THE AIR LIKE SOME KIND OF...I DO NOT KNOW WHAT!!

**Chewy:** Well...is it right? If you look close it gave you brown eyes, but if you dont they look like they always do. And you do have all those muscles, right?

**Lee:** Yes, yes. It is all correct. SO STOP LOOKING AT IT!!!!

**Chewy:** But it is teh SMEX!!! ...I mean, you look so hawt and stuffs. O.o _-drools-_

**Lee:** ..dear god!! I hoped this would not happen!!

**Chewy:** _-attacks Lee-_ TEH SMEXEH!!!!!

**Lee:** I knew she would not be able to suppress her fangirlism!!

**Chewy:** _-rhape-_

**Gai:** _-is awake-_ Hmmm...I guess I just fainted!! Lee, let us be youthful and rejoi- ...

**Chewy:** _-doing bad things to Lee-_

**Lee:** GAI SENSEI, HELP MEEEEE!!!!!

**Gai:** ..Im just going to pretend to be dead again... _-faints-_

**Sasuke:** _-watches from ceiling-_ Im glad my fangirls cant reach me in here...

**Orochimaru:** _-still chained to Sasuke-_ What about fanboys?

**Sasuke:** Not them either...wait...

**Orochimaru:** _-teh evil smirk, oh noesssss-_

**Sasuke:** ...CURSE YOU CHEWY!!!!

**Today's Lesson:**

**Never lock a fangirl and her bishies of choice in the same room.  
****Sooner or later, she will crack.**

**By the way, never chain Sasuke to Orochimaru.  
****No matter how much you hate that little son-of-a...Ill shut up now, for fear of the Sasuke fangirls.**

**Even though us Lee fangirls could totally kick your Sharingan asses with our awesome Taijutsu.  
****So shut up and run off to your little emo before he goes back to his pedophile lover.  
****BECAUSE, I DECLARE WAR ON SASUKE FANGIRLS!!  
****RAWRRAWRRAWR**


	23. Chewy Chews Out Twizzer

_**Quick Note:**_** In todays fic, I shall show you what I do when I am flamed. (yes, this is the first time I have ever been flamed. Oh, what a proud moment for me.)  
****I make myself look like a total idiot with a small rant, thats what I do.**

* * *

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** Who is the least youthful person you know?**  
Gai:** Have you ever been in a toothpaste commercial? I mean you've got that whole shiny teeth thing. By the by, is that bleached or natural?  
**Chewy:** Is it often fangirls declare war on other fangirls?  
**PS:** I can see why you don't like Sasgay, he ripped of all of Lee's and Gai's moves.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

**Chewy:** I gots a question!!_ -smiles-_

**Lee:** ...her.

**Chewy:** I dont count.

**Lee:** Oh, the it would have to be...Sasuke? He did hurt my Youthful Cherry Blossoms Feelings...Gaara? He hurt me... Neji? ...well, he's my rival...uhhhmmm...

**Chewy:** ... SASGEJI!!!!

**Lee:** Yes!!! Sasgeji!!!

**Gai:** I dont get it..

**Chewy:** You are Gai, you aren't supposed to get it.

**Gai: **Oh. Well, I have been in one!!

**Chewy: **I never saw that...

**Gai: **Yes, but it was aired in only Konoha. And very few people have TVs because they arent youthful or something. I HAVE A TV, THOUGH!1!! _-nice Gai pose-_

**Lee: **AS DO I!!!!! _-nice guy pose-_

**Chewy: **You need your own pos.

**Lee:** I have one. -does that pose with the back of his hand-

**Chewy:** And Sasuke copied it...

**Lee:** Oh yeah.. _-shot down-_

**Gai:** And, it is natural!!! I brush often!! Lee's are bleached, though.

**Lee:** I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER TELL!!! -sob-

**Chewy:**_ -kicks Gai in a bad place-_

**Gai:** AHA!! You see, I anticipated that and so I wore...a CUP!!

**Chewy: **I was wondering why it looked a bit..bigger down there..

**Gai: **Stop looking!!! _-sounds like a child, crosses legs and hides-_

**Chewy:** Okay._ -looks at Lee-_

**Lee:** ..Gai Sensei, I suggest we both go into the fetal position to stop the perverted fangirl from watching our youth.

**Gai:** I agree. _-they both go into the fetal position-_

**Chewy: **Yes, quite often. Well, for me at least. At school, my friends and I are constantly declaring war on each other over our bishies of choice. On another note, I have an eternal rival as ell! She is my best friend, but a RIVAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!

**Sasuke:** Shut up and get me down from the ceiling...and off this pedophile!!

**Chewy:** ..ripoff artist!! _-whacks in the shin with a stick-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Twizzer**__ writes,_

Script format, bold, interactive entry, and a horribly cliched story idea.

And here I was thinking that this might be slightly interesting.

The fact of the matter is that this fic goes against the TOS, but since you've posted this _-bad language-_ on the site, I would take a guess, and say that you've probably never heard of the TOS.

You've also probably never heard of something amazing called dialouge. You see, with dialouge, you can write eloquent stories that people will praise you for.

Nobody is going to praise you for writing this. Well, no one who writes coherent reviews.

Please. I'm not envious of this _-bad language-_ and I don't think anyone else is either.

Good day.

- _Twizzer  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** I give no damn of this comment.

I have, indeed, heard of the TOS. I am not some literately challenged fool of a tween (perhaps pre-tween) who likes to make themselves feel good and dandy by putting others' work down. No, I will not believe you if you say 'Oh, but I am older.' I will only believe that when I can step right up to you and look you in the face.

What's that? I cant? Then I shall see no proof.

You say you have another account with real stories on it? What's that? You cant show me for fear of 'revenge'? Why, then, I shall not believe you in that department either.

And admitting your fears is the first step in conquering them. If you say you have no fear of revenge, then I shall once more be unbelieving due to my inability to read your most-likely smaller-than-average mind.

I would like to point out that you cannot spell even as simple a word as 'dialog'. You may be foreign and spell it another way, but I still count that as bad grammar. That was perhapse, the only friendly things I will throw you in this small rant.

The reason this story was created, was for pure fun. Not for people who are unable to write their own fanfics to post rude comments on it. I do not see you writing a story. Almost everyone has written at least one. If you wish to argue about this, please read on before doing so.

This is the type of story that is very difficult to write in any other format. Doing so would most likely lead to a very sloppy story that would make absolutely no sense due to the things I enjoy putting in my it, and you would be there to get your little 'high' of happiness from putting it down because you are too afraid that it is better than anything you could ever write.

Speaking of which, if you do ever reveal your 'real' account I will have reason to believe that it is either an account you found, an account where you have stolen other peoples' works, or a friend's account that lets you say that it belongs to you. Cursing profusely and flaming stories for no good reasons does things to others' trust in you, and I have never been one to enjoy these knds of people.

I have seen other comments of yours, and they all look very similar to this one. A simple 'copy and past,' if you will. If you truly disliked my story, then you would not revert to copying and pasting such things repeatedly and might try to post a good-quality rant or comment.

To sum all this up, posting such things only makes you seem naive and the slightest bit idiotic.

Yes, I do realize that this rant did the same for me, but I've admitted my problems with idiocy long ago. Perhaps I can give you the number of my old counselor so you can work out this 'fear' of revenge? She works wonders on us lost causes.

_(Did I forget to mention the bold? Oh...well, I just like the bold. Makes my story look at least a bit organized. Feel free to flame it all you want)_


	24. Gai Comes Out of the Closet

**I hate authors notes about the episodes, but I cant help it!! Last night's episode made me cry real tears!! The one before it was all like 'Gah, my eyes are wet because it is sad!!' but this one is all like 'No one understands you Lee, and there was a flashback!! I warned you I'd break!!!!'**

**Yeah, I have no life other than to cry about my fantasy boys.**

**One thing, has anyone noticed that adorable face Gai made when Shizune put her hand on his shoulder? It was made of sadness and teeth...he has big teeth...I think Im gonna make an avatar or something out of that. XD**

**And did anyone else think Lee was a bit poorly drawn in the newest episode? His eyes seemed more 'off' than usual, too far apart or something...and the next episode is going to be flashback frenzy.. **_**-hides from the sadness-**_

* * *

**Chewy:** I pulled a Houdini and disappeared for a bit. XD

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Charged**__ writes,  
_Heh... Way to show Twizzer up. Anyways...  
**Gai:** Can you open all 8 gates? Just curious...  
**Lee:** Why didn't you take off you weights against Kisame? You could have been a lot more useful in that fight that way...  
**Orochimaru:** What do you think of Kabuto having inserted your flesh into his body to gain your power?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai:** If I couldn't, then how would I have taught Lee?

**Chewy:** Books?

**Gai: **...shut up. I taught him on my youthful own!!

**Chewy: **You guys are too bossy...

**Lee: **Well, Gai Sensei did not tell me to take them off!!

**Chewy:** But, it was life-or-death...so, yeah? Wasnt it?

**Lee:** I have my youthful reasons, do not question the youth.

**Chewy: **Fine, Mr. Bossy-Spandex.

**Orochimaru: **It wasnt like it hadn't happened before.

**Chewy:** ...what?

**Sasuke:** _-kicks Oro in that place that Chewy kicked Gai-_

**Chewy:** Knew I shouldn't have put him that close to Oro...

**Orochimaru: **Ergh...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Southern Shinigami**__ writes,  
_Hey, screw that guy that flamed you. This is hilarious! Anyway, here are my questions!  
**Lee:** Aside from Sakura, is there any other girl in the anime world that you like?  
**Gai:** Aside from Kakashi Sensei, who is your number two rival?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Lee: I can not think of any.

**Chewy:** You are so single minded...

**Lee:** What does that mean??

**Chewy:** It means that with that attitude, you'll always be single.

**Lee:** Well, I've got fangirls to fall back on...

**Chewy:** In a little place called the 'Real World,' which you shall never visit. Besides, I want to cosplay you. It would be creepy to have you there, too.

**Lee: **You women are troublesome...

**Chewy: **..dude, my friend owes me five bucks now. I told her you'd say 'troublesome' eventually!!

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death **__writes,  
_**Both-** If all the spandex and leotards were gone, then what would you wear?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai:** Jumpsuits?

**Chewy:** They would rip very easily, wouldn't they? ... _-perverted mind goes on a fanservice spree- _Hmmm...perhaps I should try my hand at fanart...

**Lee:** Do not even think about it!! Anyway, what if we wore some of those diving suit things surfers wear? I am sure we could get some custom made!!_ -nice guy pose-_

**Gai:** Lee!! You're a genius!! And, they are even tighter than our spandex!!!!

**Lee:** Gai Sensei!!!!

**Gai: **Lee!!!!

**Chewy: **_-is watching old episodes of Naruto- _Y'know, you guys are the only ones that use those martial arts noises when you fight... OWAAAAAAA!!!!!_ -knocks out Sasuke with her fist, eye twitches-_

**Lee:** It is because we are the new sex!!!!_ -continues with the awesome hug of youth-_

**Chewy: **..that was random, yet oh-so-true.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_Forget what's his face, this fic is hilarious.  
**Lee:** As the easiest character to understand, (as you have the simplest mind) how does Pig-Latin work?  
**Gai:** Who taught you to use taijutsu? And did they also do to you those gay fangirl hugs you do to Lee?  
**Both:** How do you make that sunset appear when you do your fangirl hugs of doom?  
**Chewy:** Do you need meds to not freak out while in the same room as the "beasts"?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **I love the support I get from these guys. Thankies!

**Lee: **I have no idea how to take that comment...but, um, I think it works when you take the first letter of a word and put 'ay' after it and then put it to the end of the word and say it... _-brain splode-_

**Chewy: **Hatway idday ouyay aysay? Tiay onfusedcay emay.

**Lee:** What?

**Chewy:** Akabay...rapcay!! Miay tucksay ikelay histay!!

**Gai:** My old teacher preferred taijutsu over everything else, and since he was my youthful role model, I fallowed promptly and youthfully!!! The hugs of youthfulness were my idea.

**Chewy: **Your GAY idea..

**Gai:** ...Im going emo.

**Chewy: **Bah, we all know you two are just closet emos anyway.

**Gai: **Fine, then I shall come out of said unyouthful closet of emo.

**Lee:** As shall I, we will both come out of the closet!!!

**Chewy:** Heh...he...hahahahaha!!!

**Gai:** What did we say?

**Chewy: **_-collects self-_ Nothing, _heh_, nothing...just answer the next question before I explode!

**Lee:** ... I honestly do not know, I cant do any Genjustu...

**Gai:** I can!! I create them with my mad and youthful skillz!!! And when I die or something, Im going to give Lee a youthful scroll to summon them with so his students can experience the youth that is the Hug-of-Youth!!

**Chewy: **Thats nice. But, I see no hand signs on your part before these hugs...

**Gai:** Why do you think there is always a small pause before the hugs? You think the calling out each others' names is only for youthful emphasis? No, its buying time!!

**Chewy:** Humph...I think Im just going to stop asking questions and go see if the WalMart here stocks Pocky.

**Gai: **Very youthful of you, and be sure to bring me some Mens Pocky!

**Chewy:** You get none!! The Pocky is all for me, and Lee of coarse. Mens Pocky can only be eaten by manly men and chocolate lovers.

**Gai:** I like chocolate...and Im manly..

**Chewy: **I say you have neither of those qualities.

**Lee:** Yay!! I want Green Tea flavor!!

Chewy: They only have Mens and Strawberry, I think...

**Lee: **Oh, I want both then!!

**Gai:** ...well, Chewy...you smell funny.

**Chewy:** That reminds me..._ -checks her watch- _Crap!! Its 4:00 and I haven't taken them yet!!!

**Lee: **Gai Sensei!! Put on your 'anti-fangirl' helmet!!! _-puts on Sakura mask-_

**Gai: **Yes, Lee!!! _-puts on Shizune mask-_

**Chewy:** Hey?? ...where did Gai Sensei and Lee-san go?

**Lee:**_ -in girly voice-_ Uhh...nowhere?

**Gai:** _-girlish voice- _Ummm, I think they went out for tacos.

**Chewy:** Oka- hey!! ...Sakura and Shizune dont wear green spandex..

**Gai & Lee:** _-sweatdrop-_

**Chewy:** _-rips off masks-_ OMG!!!! ...does this Shizune mask hint at something!?

**Gai:** ...er, no?

**Chewy: **Oh, okay then. _-glomps them both and the scene is miraculesely replaced by a large sign stating that '__technical difficulties'__ have arisen whilst girly screams are heard in the background-_


	25. Pocky Causes Fangirl Minds to Wonder

**Chewy:** It seems WalMart only had chocolate Pocky, and its realy good and cheap so Im going to buy a million boxes and continue this giant run-on sentence by just typing and stuff because shoes Pocky is good. _-is eating Pocky at this very moment-_

**Lee:** One of those words did not belong... _-is secretly giving Gai some Pocky-_

**Chewy:** Shut up, you not-using-conjunctions-like-didn't-bishie-who-isnt-really-a-bishie-but-has-a-body-like-a-bishie's-person.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** Do you like redheads?  
**Gai:** How do you feel being paired with Shikamaru?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I guess so. Pink is close to red, yes?

**Chewy:** I think Death meant regular redheads, but I suppose pink is close if you want to get technical. Does a certain Kazekage ring any bells?

**Lee:** Ehh, no.

**Chewy:** ...the only real redhead in the show?

**Lee:** I dont think so...I cant remember any redheads of significancy.. _-piles of sand from nowhere smash him -_

**Chewy:** Gaara!?! Why are you up there!!

**Gaara:** Tenten invited me!! _-from ceiling-_

**Chewy:** Oh, okay. Tenten, stop inviting people!!!

**Tenten:** Fine!!!

**Gai:** Im paired with Shikamaru??

**Chewy:** That's new, even for me...

**Gai:** I am not happy with this sudden change!! My eternal flames of youth will not allow myself to become so involved with a minor of the same gender unyouthfully!!

**Chewy:** What?

**Lee:** He is not happy with this pairing and does not like people pairing him with underage minors of the same gender as himself. Basically, he does not like people making him a gay pedophile.

**Chewy:** Well...he is both...

**Gai:** Fine, then Im taking your unyouthful Pocky!!

**Chewy:** Eh, its cheap. I can just buy more anyway.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,  
_I must say i like the way you handled that flamer!**  
Lee- **This is a random question, but I'm curious. What's your favorite type/flavor of cake?  
**Gai-** Now that you're out of the closet -insert wild laughter- will you become the emo sensei and teach Lee in everything Emo?  
**Chewy-** Can I join your fangirl war?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I prefer angel food cake. Does that come in any flavors other than original?

**Chewy:** I dunno, but its really bad for your teeth...I like chocolate cake smothered in more chocolate.

**Gai:** I actually do not know the first thing about the unyouthfulness that is emo...

**Chewy:** Then allow me to teach you the ways of emo in the only way I know. I SHALL SUMMON THE MASTERS OF EMO THEMSELVES!!!

**Gai:** Who are they?

**Chewy:** _-Gaara, Neji and Itachi All appear while Sasuke falls from the ceiling-_

**Orochimaru:** I want down!!!! Aren't I emo!?!

**Chewy:** You just want a piece of the bishies, you gay pedophile.

**Orochimaru:** ...so?

**Chewy:**_ -locks them all in a closet with Gai-_ ...did I remember to blindfold Itachi?

**Lee:** I think so, if not we will know soon anyway. But, if Sensei dies in there I am going to kill you!

**Chewy:** Fair enough.  
And yes, you may join in!! I fear the Shika Army will be attacking on our left flank, albeit slowly, whilst the Sasuke Army takes the rear with some razor blades. Those are our weak spots due to our having a smaller fanbase than them, so we are in the process of negotiating with the Gaara Army in hopes of strengthening our international pairings. The Gai Army is almost non-existent due to fewer fans thinking of him as the new sex, and they have been little help anyway since being proven to be slightly more annoying than ourselves. To top this all off, the recent drought of Lee and Gai sightings on the American television waves have weakened us badly, and we cant survive on DVD box sets alone. The Gaara Army is just what we need, what with their brute force//strength and calm demeanors. The only problem is that some of their recruits are pretty touchy and aren't exactly fans of the Lee's forces, and a few of our own aren't fans of the Gaara's due to their being to cause of the recent drought I mentioned earlier. Yet, they are our only hope and we must find a way to get them on our side, I've gotten some of the more crafty of our forces to start sewing old teddy bears in hopes of coaxing the Gaara forces into our ranks, while at the same time I've sent some of our more wealthy recruits to buy lots of Instant Ramen cups to get the Naruto forces on our side as well. With their being so buddy-buddy with us, we are guaranteed their help when paired with Ramen. They might also help with getting the Gaara forces over here since they seem to trust them. Only bad thing is that the attraction to Sakura might put a bit of rivalry between our forces and Naruto's. We are basically hoping against all hope that we can get some one on our sides.  
_-looks over her shoulder- _Aww, crap. I think the Kakashi Armada is readying their canons with smut, in hopes of inultrating our naive minds...perhapse we could sacrifice some of the Gai's forces and have them open a few gates.

**Lee:** ...fangirls scare me..


	26. Gai's Screwed Up Logic

**I had the best dream last night. **

**I dreamt I was suddenly in Lee's room, but Lee was in the same bed as Gai and I was all like 'WTF!!?!' and Lee woke up and was all like 'Lex, we aren't gay, we're roommates. Just go to bed..' And then, I had to sleep in the same bed as them and was all like 'Awesomeeeee,' but I didn't fit in the bed. They were all tired and Gai wouldn't shut up so I slept at the foot of the bed. Apparently, I didn't fit in the bed normally but I fit perfectly at the foot. For some reason, I also wanted to wake up (in my dream world) with Lee's arms wrapped around my waist; but I didnt. I woke up with them running around outside and dragging me out there with them. **

**Throughout this little ordeal with my not fitting in the bed Lee kept asking me why I was giving him such weird looks..**

**Anyway, and the next day we had to make a chair or something for Tsunade to use in Hokage stuff, but I wanted the chair to be red since it's a regal color. In the end, it ended up baby blue and had red trimming with a million other colors in there and some fake fur lining it. Tsunade hated it, and then some stuff about Lee's family hating him and a giant squid in a pond almost killing him in his childhood.**

**After that, something was said about Gai's sister's kids being brats. I forgot what. Then Lee and I made out at some flea-market, but for some reason my dream self stopped us. It seemed like a few days passed in the dream world because I remember going to bed (in Lee//Gai's room) in my dream a few times.**

**In the end, I ended up having to basically kill myself when I woke up for not letting it go any further and ate a whole box of Pocky while I fantasized.. At least it wasnt as bad as that dream about the giant Ravioli and the neon spiders landing in it. (Was also my first dream with Lee in it, stupid brain doesnt do what I want)****

* * *

**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6 **__writes,  
_**Lee: **How did you feel when you found out you weren't going to be featured in the naruto movie? (don't cry, though you might have a big part. I haven't watched it in a while)**  
Gai: **Who is the scariest person you know, and why?**  
Both:** Who is your favorite movie star?  
Sorry Chewy, no question for you this time.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy:** Lucky, I haven't seen even one. XD

**Lee: **I was not that upset, I wanted to nap tha-

**Chewy: **You nap!?!?

**Lee:** ...I train into the wee hours of the mourning, I get tired!!!

**Gai:** PUNISHMENT!!!_ -punches Lee-_

**Chewy: **Punishing one for getting tired doesnt seem very youthful...

**Gai:** Bah, it is **so** youthful!!

**Chewy: **Feeling out of character, are we?

**Gai: **_-ignores her- _It's a bit of a tie between the unyouthful Itachi and, that monster, Gaara.

**Gaara:**_ -still trapped in the emo-closet- _I HEARD THAT!!!!

**Itachi:**_ -in the emo-closet as well- _ME TOO!!!!

**Chewy:** Both of you, shut up!! Dont make me do that 'out of the closet' joke I love so much!!

**Gaara & Itachi:** FINE!! _-grumbles come from emo-closet-_

**Chewy:** And your fave movie star had better not be-

**Lee & Gai:** _-giddy like schoolgirls-_ Bruce Lee!!

**Chewy: **I knew it!! I knew it!!! I mean, you are worse than cosplayers!!!

**Lee: **What does that mean?

**Chewy:** ...

**Gai: **Yeah, we look nothing like the ever youthful Bruce Lee!!!

**Chewy:**_ -somehow gets them into nothing but a pair of black pants and holds up that picture of Bruce lee in nothing but black pants from his Wikipedia article- _Umm, make that badass face and pose he has in this picture.

**Gai & Lee:** _-do so-_

**Chewy:** ...dude, worse than cosplayers...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**_ writes,  
**Lee-** How do you like Naruto taking your Gaara away from you?  
**Gai- **If you were the last person on Earth, what would you do?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **He is not **my** Gaara!! _-sounds like a fed up toddler-_

**Gaara:** _-in dah emo-closet-_ Naruto **is **nicer than you...

**Lee: **WHAT THE HELL!??!!?

**Chuint: **Is there another gas leak in here?

**Gai: **I would search in vain for a youthful way to revive the population!!!

**Chewy:** But...you'd be the last on earth...if you were a girl, you could maybe rape a dead guy or something but...you're a dude, sooo...

**Orochimaru:** Thats sick.

**Chuint: **Even Oro, King of the Pedophiles, agrees. I have a sick mind.

**Gai:** Well, Naruto has that one Jutsu to make one a youthful female, and all males are born with unused uteruses...my logic tells me it could work...and if I had a daughter it would be even better, though a bit incest is quite unyouthful.

**Chewy: **That uterus thing is a proven fact, which goes the other way around for females, but now I feel kinda ill from hearing all your sick ideas...

**Lee:** Sensei, you would not!!

**Gai: **But, as Chewy stated in an earlier chapter, the youthful population is everything!!

**Lee: **_-faints-_

**Chewy:**_ -fans Lee with a magazine from nowhere-_ Dude, you made your student faint from indecent exposure of the mind...happy now?

**Orochimaru:** Sorry to butt in, but wouldn't this affect the future population in a weird way? Just imagine...everyone in the world would have huge eyebrows and shiny hair...not to mention that they would probably count this freak as a god or something and all of them would cut their hair into bowl-cuts..and incest leads to weird mutations...

**Gai:** Im not a freak...

**Chewy: **Yes you are, but thats why I love you. _-continues fanning Lee with the magazine-_

**Lee:** _-wakes up- _What magazine is this?_ -takes magazine-_ Playgirl!?!_ -faints again-_

**Chewy:** They make this magazine...with male models? ...and they are all the Konoha boys..._ -opens Magazine-_ Gai has a nice body...and who would imagine that was Chouji?

**Orochimaru: **Sorry, thats mine...

**Chewy:** ...Im confiscating this...for, erm...stuffs...non-perverted stuffs...so dont get any ideas...because this would so clash with my wallpaper...like I'd ever hang these on my walls...Im going to shut up now before I fall into the grave I just dug for myself...

_-puts it in her pocket-_

**Gai:** Unyouthful pervert. You are worse than Kakashi!!!

**Chuint:** So what if I am?

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** You shouldn't fear fangirls...We adore you!! **  
Gai-** Are you feeling emo-ish yet?  
**Both-** I have the same question for both of you. Do you like the rain?**  
Chewy-** Yosh! Well, you might be able to get the gaara army with stuffed Panda Bears and chocolate chip cookies, he likes those. I'm pretty sure if you keep giving the Naruto Army Ramen, they'll give us help. As for the Kakashi Armada...You can probably distract the fangirls by showing them fake pictures of Kakashi with his mask off. We need more members for the Gai Army. _-re-reads what she wrote- _Wow, fangirlism takes over XD.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** That is what scares me..._ -hides from the reaching fingers-_

**Chewy:** Could have sworn I sprayed fangirl repellent on that window... _-hugs Lee who cries-_

**Gai: **A little bit...

**Chewy: **And how the hell did you get out of the emo-closet?

**Gai: **A jutsu..

**Chewy: **You always do jutsus off-screen...stupid Gai Sensei, hiding your uber skillz and turtle-summoning powahs.

**Lee:** The rain is youthful! It makes my training regimen much more intense!!

**Gai: **Its ok, I guess...a little depressing, but in a youthful way...hn..

**Chewy: **Thats enough of the emo-brigade for you.._ -emos go bye-bye-_

**Gai:**_ -sigh, emo-sob-_

**Lee: **YOU BROKE SESNEI!!!!111!!!ONE!!!!1!1111!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!11!1

**Chewy:** Those are brilliant ideas, guys!!!! I personally know a hardcore fanboy of all things Naruto, and he has the only known Fanboy Army!! That would certainly be a big help!! As for the pandas and cookies, we can do that!!!_ -whistles- _Ladies, dye those bears black and white!!! We need a code 74-PNDA if we're gonna win this!!! And you, Soldier!!

**Soldier: **Ma'am, yes ma'am!!!

**Chewy: **I want you to get on Deviantart **this minute **and find the sexiest and most believable picture of a maskless Kakashi you can!!!

**Soldier: **MA'AM, YES MA'AM!! What do you want me to do after I find this picture, ma'am!?

**Chewy: **I want you to make as many copies as you can, but put them through a program to make them look like a page from the manga, make sure this picture is enough to make even Chouji fans die from exposure of his bare chest and chin!! Get to it, Soldier!!!

**Soldier: **Yes, ma'am!!! Ill get right on it, ma'am!!!

**Chewy: **Very good!! You are excused, Soldier!! Go make those Kakashi fans MELT!!! _-might make a fanfic about war between fans, but it would take forever to write and might be a huge oneshot that would take a month or so to shoes write with school starting up in a week and her hating to make giant story lined fics with more than one chapter because it kills her muse, dude that was long, but what do you think? ...heh, still going-_


	27. All Your Base

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Fluffycottoncandygirl**__ writes,  
_Hello, I love your story, for the most part. I love that Gai and Lee don't see how they're so like Bruce Lee.  
**Lee:** If some one came up to you and asked you to kill Gai, or they would kill Sakura, what would you do?**  
Gai:** If you couldn't wear any sort of skintight clothing, no spandex, leotards, jumpsuits, nylon, etc. What would you wear?  
**Chewy:** Hi can I come in and Hug Gai and Lee, and maybe hang out for a chapter? Can I help i the fangirl army? Why not just combine the Gai and Lee fanbases and call it the Green Beast fanbase?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I would devise a cunning and deviant plan to retrieve my love and at the same time keep from having to dispose of my beloved Sensei!

**Chewy: **You mean you would have everyone else save her while you cry in your little 'Lee is confused and sad' corner?

**Lee: **I guess it could mean that...

**Gai:** I would wear a youthful two piece green jugging suit!! (a **nearly **skintight one)

**Chewy:** You mean, I never get to see either one of you in street clothes or nude???

**Lee:** Eww...was my bare chest in that one episode not enough for your perverted mind?

**Chewy: **No bare chest is ever enough for me.

**Lee:** Figures.

**Chewy: **You must first prove yourself, young grasshopper!! _-watches too many kung-foo-movies...or has seen one or two and all that Pocky has gone to her brain-_ Yeah, you can help. All help is welcome!! And the two fanbases were combined, but we have to keep the names separate or else we would relive the 'Itachi//Kisame Revolution' of late 2006.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_**  
**__**childofglass**__writes,  
_Hehehe...This is a good story. I'm enjoying it!  
**Lee:** Did you really steal Gaara's eyebrows? Also, I liked your pre-Gai look better.  
**Gai:** You frighten me...

**Okay, last question:** I was thinking of asking the entire Akatsuki – even Itachi and Kisame – to a tea party. Would you guys (That means Sasuke and Orochimaru, too!) mind coming along as my human sacrifi- I mean, youthful bodyguards?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **I know not of Gaara's eyebrows.

**Chewy: **Sure you dont...

**Lee: **I DID NOT!!! _-is so lying- _And can you imagine me like that now? I would look soo 19th century ninja.

**Chewy: **Heh, you sound gay...

**Gai: **But youth is not frightening!! Love the youth!! Feel the youth!! Now look into my manly features and see the youth!!1!!!oneONEsix!!11!!

**Chewy: **Umm...

**Orochimaru: **TEA PARTY!! _-runs off with Sasuke to the Tea Party-_

**Gai: **Lee and I shall go to this youthful-

**Chewy: **Umm, but Gai? You and Lee must stay here to answer questions...

**Lee: **The pervert s right!!! We must stay!!!

**Chewy: **But Itachi can go._ -lets Itachi out of emo-closet...yes, she forgot to banish him with the other emos-_

**Itachi:** I dun wanna go!!

**Chewy: **Itachi!! Looky here!! _-holds out Sasuke's sock and Itachi sniffs it-_ Now, go get him!!

**Itachi: **Rruff!!_ -runs off after Sasuke-_

**Lee: **How did you get that sock?

**Chewy:** The fangirl black market. How do you think I survived when you weren't on TV? Episode guides? DVDs? No!! Bishie socks!

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** Who is the ugliest person you know?  
**Gai: **What will it take to put you into a non emo/incest pervert, state?**  
Chewy: **How large is the lee fangirl army?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Im afraid to say..

**Chewy:** Say it.

**Lee:** Gaara...and Sasuke...and Kisame...and basically, every other male ninja... _-smashed by every attack-_

**Chewy:** I've got to block the air ducts or something...

**Gai: **Some Pocky...

**Chewy: **I am not giving you any!! The WalMart here just started stocking Strawberry and Im not sharing!!

**Chewy:** Lets just say, all your base are belong to us.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Both-** Why bowl-cuts?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai: **Because..._ -dramatic pose- _they are YOUTHFUL!!!

**Chewy: **And make you look like Bruce Lee...

**Lee: **What was that? _-fighting stance-_

**Chewy:** Nothing, all-mighty-ninja-who-could-so-kick-my-ass-because-Im-just-some-lazy-fangirlish-computer-nerd-who-is-out-of-shape._ -passes out-_


	28. Are Belong to Us

**School starts on the 15****th**** for me, so after that date I will update this on Mondays, Thursdays, and Sundays.  
****Yeah, school sucks.**

* * *

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Both- **if all spandex, leotards, jumpsuits, nylon etc. was gone from the face of the earth, what would you wear?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai: **Nothing!!!!

**Chewy: **Dude.. _-spaces out-_

**Gai: **I give, I might as well try wearing those 'modern' clothes you wear...even if they are unyouthfully ugly.

**Chewy:** I AM A MOODY TEENAGE GIRL WITH PROBLEMS WITH HER CONFIDENCE, IF YOU INSULT MY CLOTHING I SHALL EAT YOUR HEAD!!1!1!!

**Gai: **Fine...

**Lee: **Id wear green pajamas...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_Cool, first review thats never happened before.**  
Lee: **If you could set up any club what kind would you set up?**  
Gai: **Right first here is the most powerful/slash awesome pocky in the world.  
what is your favorite flavor of pocky?  
**Chewy:** What did you mean all your base? What base? i don't have a secret base especially not under Lake Huron.  
Gai, my good friend, that pocky you ate was the most powerful poison in the world. By next chapter you will be dead, and the only antidote is in my secret base. I mean, what secret base.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** A club for the color green!!!

**Chewy:** Only you guys and I would probably join...

**Lee:** I do not care!!

**Chewy: **Lee ate Medicine Balls...heh, funny...

**Lee: **Crazy bi-

**Gai: **POCKY!!!_ -eats pocky-_ I like the youthful chocolate Pocky!! ...I ate all the Pocky,..may I have some more, Chewy?

**Chewy: **What you say?

**Gai: **Oh my GOD!!! That was pretty low Chewy!! That reaction is not 'modern' or 'youthful' and that pisses me off!!!

**Chewy: **Its better when you yell at Kakashi...

**Gai: **Then why are you wearing his mask?

**Chewy:** _-is wearing Kakashi's mask and her headband has moved from her neck to her eye- _...because.

**

* * *

****Somewhere in Konoha**

**Kakashi:**_ -steps out of shower- _Lalala, hmhmhm...where are my clothes!!?!

**

* * *

**

**Chewy: **I dunno which one. P All bases!! And, you scare me. Badly. Very badly.

**Gai: **...poison? ...I think we need Tsunade...or at least Shizune...even Tonton would be nice!! _-breaks down in emo-sobs-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Kiss and Cry**__ writes,  
_**Lee- **I'm pretty sure Kishimoto modeled you after Bruce Lee, that's why Lee is in your name. At least, this is what I hear. If you could travel to any other country, where would you go?**  
Gai- **You need to be more youthful, you've been to emo-ish.  
**Chewy-** How's the war going?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Now I feel unoriginal... I do not know, wherever I end up I guess.

**Chewy:** And, you and Sakura were originally supposed to embody human weaknesses. _-runs off to Google for some research-_

**Gai:** Yes!! I shall overcome my emo-ness and look death in the face while I youthfully laugh at it's- urk!!_ -dies-_

**Chewy: **Umm, its going good. The Haku Fanbase decided to pose as girl scouts and managed to take out some Lee Fans with some gender confusion. But, we did manage to hit the Zabuza Tanks with some spandex bombs and that should hold them off for a while, since they were backing up the Haku Forces.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**GaarasDarkPrincess**__ writes,  
_Okay two of my friends asked me to do this

Yume-chan wants ta tell Lee that she thinks he's the cutest, most youthful ninja ever and wants to know if he'd go on a date with her sometime.

**To Gai-Sensei:** Hima-chan asks: WILL YA MARRY MEH?! XD

Hima: Come on Ari-chan, you know you want him just as bad as I do!  
...! shut up, and I dont thank you very much. -sigh- Please answer or they'll never leave me alone again  
thanks.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **Here, its kinda...yeah, since Gai died or something. Im going to go look at pictures of Lee being nake- I mean...being awesome on my computer...yeah..

**Lee:**_ -is hiding from the fangirls-_

**Gai:**_-gurgle, sputter, dead noises-_


	29. Snack Time

**Alright, new updating system starts...Sunday is it? Just making sure.**

* * *

**Chewy:** _-appears at the top of a conveniently placed bridge and holds a hand up at Lee- _Yo.

**Lee: **You are late...and your hair is...red?? And your nails...are purple!?

**Chewy: **WellIm sorry!! I got lost on the path of life...

**Lee:** No you did not!! You just went to the bathroom and got your hair dyed, then you painted your nails!!!! You probably got locked in or something...

**Chewy: **So what if I did? I also cut it shorter...because my neck was getting sweaty...

**Lee:** ...

**Chewy:** As for my nails, I am now Akatsuki!!_ -dons a black cloak and straw hat-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** How do you feel about having Gai die?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **He is dead? _-pokes Gai-_

**Chewy: **Stop poking him..

**Lee:** I do not want to. _-pokes some more-_

**Gai: **_-suddenly jumps up-_ GRAWRARBOO!!

**Lee:** OMG!! _-faints-_

**Gai: **I love how in fanfics, you can die but not really die.

**Chewy:** Right.._ -puts a mood ring on her index finger-_ That should work until I find a nice Akatsuki-ish ring...

**Gai: **You look different...did you get a youthful tan?

**Chewy: **No, but Im hungry..

**Gai:** Then let us eat!!!

**Lee: **But what shall we eat?

**Chewy: **RAMEN!!!

**Gai:** Instant or youthful?

**Chewy:** Instant, the youthful kind is hard to make. I mean, the dough is just so difficult to manage...and dont get me started on the broth..

**Lee: **Can we at least have a youthful desert?

**Chewy:** No, we'll have Pocky. I cant cook.

**Gai: **What kinds? Strawberry or the modern Chocolate?

**Lee: **Japanophile...

**Chewy:** Both. And green tea...from a can..

**Gai:** Unyouthful demon!!! Tea should be created from scratch!! _-points dramatically and wiggles for some reason-_

**Chewy:** ...Im going to go eat my Japanophile//Computer Nerd chow, then Ill get right back to you.

**Lee:** Whatever. _-sits in an office chair and plays teh Pokemans while spinning-_

**Gai:** Lee and his youthful Pokemon...I wish I could play his Pokemon, but he doesnt share...not since I unyouthfully released his Deoxys...

**Lee:** Who are you talking to, Sensei?

**Gai:** No one..._ -mutters under his breath- _Just my imaginary wife and my non-existent children..._ -emo sob-_

**Chewy: **_-slurps Ramen-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** If you had to chose between a date with Gaara where Sakura lives or being able to use ninjutsu where Sakura dies, which would you choose?  
**Gai:** If your alive, which nationality would you prefer to be in the real world. (e.g Canadian, Mesopatmion, Japanese, etc)  
**Chewy: **Why do I scare you? I'm just regular people.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **I would sadly go on the date, although I would rather do ninjutsu over a date with another male. I SHANT LET MY BEAUTIFUL CHERRY BLOSSOM DIEEEEE!!!

**Sakura:** Im not YOURS!!! _-whacks-_

**Gai:** I would choose to be Japanese!!!

**Chewy:** I thought you two were Chinese...

**Gai: **Oh...maybe a mix?

**Chewy: **I guess, that could explain your reasons as to being in Japan...

**Gai: **Then I will youthfully that!!

**Chewy:** ...everybody scares me. Especially when they poison Pocky.


	30. Pickles are Unyouthful

**Marathon made me crazeh. I almost forgot Ebisu even existed, and how much of a perv he was. And it caught me up with the eps I missed. Which was a lot. I hate moving.**

**But Neji was all 'Destiny, destiny, fate, fate, fate, blah' and Naruto said 'Believe it' one too many times. Shika said 'what a drag' more than I remebered him doing, and I said 'Troublesome' the whole way through. ****

* * *

**

**Chuint:** _-sniffle-_

**Lee: **What is wrong?

**Chuint:** Stupid marathon, with those episodes of the Gaara and you... _-sniffles at flashbacks and sad Gai-_

**Lee:** Awwww...need a hug?

**Chewy:** No, Im fine...it showed to back of Gai a lot...you were moving too fast...

**Gai: **What is she...

**Chewy:** He has a nice bum, although not as nice as yours. Its bigger. _-'I Like Big Butts' starts playing-_ Stupid Tenten...hiding in the vents... _-giggles come from vents-_

**Gai: **You little perv!!!!!!

**Chewy: **I AM NOT!!!!!

**Gai:** Then what are you!?!!

**Chewy: **...a big one!! _-nice guy pose- _

**Jiraiya: **Ripoff artist!!!!

**Chewy: **SEXY NO-JUTSU!!!_ -streaks around the room in nothing but her undergarments (bra, underpants)-_

**Jiraiya:** _-goes nuts and diiieeeessss-_

**Gai: **OH GOD, HOW UNYOUTHFUL!!! _-hides in fear of being dubbed a pedophile...again-_

**Lee:**_ -stares-_

**Chewy:** Being a perv is unyouthful!!!! _-punches and clothes are suddenly back-_

**Lee:** Hypocrite...women cant do sexy no-jutsu anyway.

**Chewy:** Yeah-huh. SEXY NO -JUTSU!!! _-puff of smoke and is revealed to be a naked male version of herself- _

**Lee: **Reminds me of Gaara, with that red hair and the dark circles under your eyes...but the glasses and eyebrows ruin it.

**Chewy:** Whatever. My dark circles are hardly noticeable anyway. They're from that speck of insomnia I had in July. And how the hell do you know what Gaara looks like naked?!

**Lee:** WHAT!!??!!? NO!! I meant in the face...the face!!!

**Gai: **Shut up and stop digging your own grave!!! _-punches-_

**Lee:**_ -emo sob-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** If u could only be friends with one male person that is not your teacher, who would it be?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai- **What's your favorite food?

**Lee:** Naruto, because we already are friends.

**Gai:** I like every youthful food!!! BUT NOT PICKLES!! Pickles are unyouthful!!

**Chewy:** I hate cucumbers...and Im hungry now.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** If you could learn any one jutsu, which would it be and why?  
**Gai: **Is it true that when Itachi was talking about the person even Akatsuki couldn't beat(?), it was you?  
**Chewy:** Which Akatsuki ring would you want?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** There are so many!! Maybe Shadow Clones because more of me would be youthful!!!

**Chewy: **Well, could I borrow one of them?

**Lee:** No...why?

**Chewy:** I've got reasons.

**Lee:** Little perv.

**Chewy: **We've been over this.

**Gai:** I dont know, but Im sure he was because I am just that youthfully awesome!! _-nice gai pose-_

**Chewy:** Yes, yes you are. And I would like Tobi's ring. Or Kisame's. Or Itachi's...and for the record, Tobi is NOT Obito!!! HE IS MADARA UCHIHA!! _-clicks out of Wikipedia and pets Tobi-_

**Tobi:** Tobi is a good boy!! _-purrs-_


	31. Nice Gai Pose!

_**-begins to sniffle and cry about last night's new episode- **_**Curse you, flashbacks. Curse you and your usual sadness...and your****being about Lee...and the whole 'his childhood reminds me of my own' just makes it al the worse...**_** -emo-sobs about her childhood-**_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Protectorofkingdomhearts**__writes,  
_Story is coming along great, but I must use my emote no justu! O.o Now questions.

**Lee:** If you where forced to do combat with Sakura to the death, and if you won you would get immortality, what would you do?  
**  
Gai:** If you could live forever, but never get to see Lee again, what would you do?

**Chewy:** Please destroy the Sasuke army, because every girl I know ( and some of the gay guys) love Sasuke, including my sister who I want dead. I am a half emo, and yes, we do exist. Plus I control the Hinata battalions, and will help you at all costs.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I would never fight against Sakura!!! I have to win her heart, and doing so would guarantee a failure for me!!!!

**Sakura: **You shall never win my heart!!!_ -maniacal laughter-_

**Chuint: **Oh, dont worry!! I watched all his episodes in the marathon very closely (well, duh, I luvs him) and I have reason to believe that you shall!!! _-speaking like in an old Japanese movie, like Godzilla, with the bad dubbing with the lip movements and such-_

**Sakura:** Oh, but you are mistaken! Sasuke is the fave paring for me!! Kekekeke!!! _-doing the same-_

**Lee: **But Sasuke has to fight his brother, I believe they will both die in the fight. _-he always talks like that-_

**Sakura:** Well...WHATEVER!!! He wont!! _-stalks away-_

**Gai:** I would never choose life over Lee!! Lee is my youthful precious person, and not seeing him at all would be unyouthful!!!

**Chewy:** _-too busy lip-syncing the Naruto theme-song as it plays on her TV to make a witty comment-_

**Lee:** Gai Sensei!!

**Gai: **Lee!!!

**Lee:** GAI SENSEEEIII!!!

**Gai:** LEEEEE!!!!! _-uber hug-_

**Chewy:** Shut up!! -begins hitting the Sasuke army with spandex-bombs- Glad to see Im not alone in the half-emo party. Although, Im a bit...odd, for half-emo. We could use some help!! As you said, the Sasuke army is extremely popular and with our not having many jutsus we really need some help. Gai's turtle is useless, and the gates would just kill us. At least the Shika army fell asleep. _-stupid things wont give up for once-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2..6**_ _writes,  
_Yes, thanks for fixing my last review.  
**Lee:** You keep calling Chewy a perv, but you are the one wearing a skin tight jumpsuit. You do realize that by doing so you invite every girl (and Gaara)to look at your body?  
**Gai:** How does it make you feel that in the Naruto trading card game you only have one card where's Kakashi has five?  
**Chewy: **What made you decide to go Akatsuki anyway?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **They look? Well, that is why I am called Konoha's Handsome Devil!!!_ -nice guy pose-_

**Chewy:** They call you a lot of things. _-looks at Lee's...ahem...very closely, very, very closely-_

**Lee:** _-suddenly feels uncomfortable-_

**Gai:** _-feels left out and sad- _I...didn't know that...CURSE YOU KAKASHI AND YOUR HIP TRADING CARDS!!!! _-dramatic pose- _ROSEBUUUUDDD!!!

**-Somewhere in Konoha**-

**Kakashi:** _-sneezes and gets ramen all over himself- _Gah, I hate it when Gai does that. Might as well embarrass him. _-whispers- _Did you say something?

**-Back in the Small Room**-

**Gai:** OH MY GOD!!!

**Chewy:** What?

**Gai:** Sorry, it's a habit.

**Chewy: **Right...and I went Akatsuki because its badass!! ..and has an open position since _he_ died... _-refuses to give out spoilers-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** Do u know what yaoi means?  
**Gai- **Do u have a 'Neopets' account?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Yes, I believe so.

**Chewy:** _-begins thinking perverted thoughts-_

**Gai:** Uh, no..it isn't manly!!!_ -hides a Cybunny plush-_

**Chewy: **_-still laughing perversely-_

**Gai & Lee: **_-ignore her perverted thoughts-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Wishing-To-Survive-18**__ writes,  
_'Ello n-n  
I have to say, your doing a great job at this! So awesome!  
Anyway, I've got a few questions/comments/blablahblah...anyway.

**Lee:** I'm sure you'll win over Sakura's heart one of these days, but just incase that doesn't happen, what other girl would you go after and why? Just curious  
**Gai:** I have to say, I had no idea you were 26. I was thinking you were more in your 30's, no offense. Anyway, here's the question. If Lee wasn't your student, who would you teach your glorious youthfulness to, and why? Can't say Naruto! (It'd be so funny if you said someone like Sasuke nn)  
**Chewy: **Are you thinking of bringing in any other characters to answer questions and such? That would be awesome n-n

**P.P.S.:** Your going on my Favorite Authors list n-n YAY n-n  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Yosh, I shall!!!_ -fire in eyes-_

**Chewy:** _-cooks a hotdog over his eyes after getting over her big head-_

**Lee:** I do not know, they all seem taken. Naruto has Hinata...and Im sad to say Sakura. As does Sasuke, Shikamaru seems to have Ino, Neji has Tenten... _-is lonely-_

**Gai:** Its okay!! Someday, Sakura will indeed embrace your YOUTH!!!

**Chewy:**_ -giggles about some comment about Chinese medicine balls-_

**Gai:** That is okay as well!! In Shuupuden I am 30...I wish I didn't have to grow older.

**Chewy: **Off-topic!

**Gai:** I have no idea, perhaps I could try Sasuke!! His youth needs refreshing, and it would completely destroy Kakashi!!!_ -dramatic pose-_

**Chewy: **Hmmm...perhaps. I do miss Oro and Sasuke. _-snaps fingers-_

**Sasuke & Orochimaru:** _-appear tied up together on a chair- _WTF!!?!

**Chewy:** Heh.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Southern Shinigami**__ writes,  
_HEY! Being a spoiler is very unyouthful! j/k. But I saw the marathon, and Neji annoyed me too.

Anyways...

**Lee:** Have you ever had the urge to beat the crap out of Neji, aside from the Chunin exam prelims, when he hurt sweet Hinata?

**Gai-sensei:** Is there anyone in the anime universe, aside from your show, that you think you can take down in a fight?

**P.S.:** I counted how many times Gai did the nice guy pose in the 100th episode. 8 TIMES, GAI?? Limit yourself, man! Stop showin' off the teeth!  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Always!! He is always unyouthfully telling me I cannot be a ninja, CURSE YOU RIVAL NEJI!!!!!!!!

**Gai:** _-sniffle- _They grow up so fast!

**Lee:** SENSEEEIII!!! _-hugz-_

**Gai: **Hmmm...perhaps, Tohru from 'Fruits Basket'!!!

**Chewy:** Thats just low, man.

**Gai: **Hmm...I AM SURE ICHIGO from 'Bleach' WOULD FALL UNDER MY YOUTHFUL POWERS!!!

**Chewy:** ...lame, would so die or something. XD

**Gai:** And I know not of the meaning of this word 'limit.' BWHAHAHAHAHHEH!! _-nice Gai pose- _


	32. CAPS LOCKNESS

**I give up, no more of my stupid schedule. Im too impatient. XD****

* * *

**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Wishing To Survive 18**__ writes,  
_Here I am again n-n  
I was hyper...slightly when I asked those last questions, but now I've managed to calm down a little.  
Gaara: ...No you haven't  
- He is right, I haven't. n-n

**Lee:** Aw, don't feel lonely. n-n After all, if fate intends you to be with Sakura, it will happen for sure. n-n And if not, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.  
**Gai:** There is no such thing as doing the nice guy pose too many times. Go ahead and show off those pearly whites! n-n  
**Both:** Would you kindly kick the crap out of Sasuke for me?

Gaara: ...See what I have to deal with?  
laughs nervously  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** YOSH!!! I say fate intends it to be, as Sakura is the only girl who is right for me!!

_**Translation:**__ Im pretty sure we will get together. She is the only girl I have a chance with, anyway._

**Gai:** Ahahaha!!! The Nice Gai Pose shall never die!! _-does the pose many times-_

**Chewy:**_-wearing sunglasses to hide from the teeth glinting-_

**Lee: **Kick Sasuke? _-looks at Sasuke-_

**Sasuke:** Dont come near me, you bushy-browed freak-loser.

**Lee:** ..._ -starts kicking Sasuke in the shin-_

**Gai:** _-joins in on the shin-kicking-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Both-** Do you have a YouTube account?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Chewy warned me not to get one.

**Gai: **She warned me of unyouthful dangers..

**Chewy: **I just dont want them to kill themselves or anything. My computer wont let me watch anything, but my friends have spoken of odd videos that I must see sometime soon... _-continues watching her flash movies...heh, 'WHO WANTS SOME BEEF JERKY!!?!' silly Kiba...-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**Skullbladeshand** writes,  
Doing great!  
**Lee: **You should turn on the youthful caps lock!  
**Gai: **Please! Teach me your youthful ways!  
**Chewy: **Welcome to the Akatsuki! I recently became a member too! I'm Zetsu's partner!

**P.S. **Can you please read my question thing? Akatsuki support each other!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee: **CHEWY HATES IT, BUT IT IS AWESOMELY YOUTHFUL!!!!

**Gai:** I AGREE!! CAPS LOCK IS MOST YOUTHFUL AND MODERN!!! IT IS SO YOUTHFUL, IN FACT, THAT KAKASHI REFUSES TO USE IT!!! YOSH!!!

**Lee: **YOSH!!!

**Gai:** OKAY!! ALWAYS TALK LOUDLY!!! PEOPLE TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY THAT WAY!! AND REMEMBER TO CHALLENGE YOURSELF A LOT!!! AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH!! I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH!! ALSO, PRACTICE THE 'NICE GUY POSE' IN THE MIRROR!!!

**Chewy:** -nearly dies from the caps lock- Thank you! No one really wanted to be my partner, so I got stuck with Tobi. Much rather be with Kisame. He is a little cutie, though. _-pets Tobi-_

**Tobi: **-purrs some more-

**Chewy:** Ish Tobi a good boy? Yesh he ish!! Yesh he ish!!!

**Tobi:** Tobi is a good boy!!

**Chewy: **Reminds me a bit of a puppy. _-begins reading the question thing-_


	33. Shika Shexy

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Both-** Do you have a Deviantart account?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai:** I did...I scared me..

**Chewy:** No kidding, you were under the bed for a week.

**Gai:** YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PULLED UP THAT PICTURE OF OROCHIMARU!!!!!

**Lee:** Chewy says that I am not allowed to obtain an account. Something about how my adorable innocense must be spared...

**Gai: **YET SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT MINE!?!!??

**Chewy: **You have none, you closet pervert-emo.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** What was the worst mission you have ever been on? And why was it so bad?  
**Gai: **Yes, this is not a question so much as a request. You see, I recently saw a theory that speculated that you were actual hokage level. To prove/disprove this, I'll need to ask for a DNA sample. My ninja dog will pick it up.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** There was that one mission, where we had to go to Suna and be Gaara's bodyguards for the day...I do not think he needed us, and that Tsunade only did it to torture me. That little redhead either tried to kill me, or came onto me...maybe both... -shivers in fear-

**Chewy:** Tsunade had nothing to do with this...completely, at least. I provided the money which I used to bribe her- I mean, the money I used to...pay for the trip...yeah..

**Gai: **But..Gai does not like needles...

**Chewy: **Did somebody say 'needle'? _-pulls out huge needle-_

**Gai:** OH MY GOD!! OH NOES!!!!_ -hides under bed-_

**Chewy: **Heh...just fooling with you, Im in a good mood. _-rips off one of Gai's eyebrows- _This should do. Although, I dont see how a DNA test would prove this. Im sure Gai can open nearly all the gates, and I think they make you Kage level...yes?

Hmm...while you're at it, do some paternity tests on Lee. His 'not having any known family' is bugging me to death, and big eyebrows dont just pop out of nowhere in genetics!! They have to be at least be distant cousins!! Second cousins, or maybe Lee's mother had an affair... _-puts brow in a zip-lock baggy-_

**Gai:** _-too busy crying over his eyebrow to answer-_

**Lee:** _-is off somewhere to fetch a thick, black marker-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**amew2**__ writes,  
_Please put this in!  
Inner amew2: MIND CRU-  
Will you stop that?!?!?

Anywho

**Lee:** If you were stuck in the 4kids dubbed version of YGO, what would you do?**  
Gai:** Do you know what kuriboh is? (sorry couldn't resist being a kuriboh fanboy)  
**Chewy:** Have you asked YGO Fanboys/girls to join?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Die.

**Chewy: **Thats a simple answer.

**Gai:** Are they fluffy things, with wings?

**Chewy:** I think, I've not watch YGO in a long time. Dubbed things make my brain hurt... -_pokes the 'Naruto' series- _But I have to live with the Naruto dubs until more DVDs come out...ah, the uncut punches and bloody-ness.

**Gai:** I know them!! _-cuddles-_

**Chewy: **Im not sure, some of them might like to oin if they want. But, some of them could be hostile. _-opens the army doors to the other fans, but puts Gai fangirls as gaurds in case of a hostile fan-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Skullbladeshand**__ writes,  
_You want Kisame? I can put finger poison in his nail polish. Or convince Zetsu to eat him.

**Gai:** Can I have a jumpsuit? I need a clothes for school...

**Chewy:** No, Im good. _-revels in the Lee-Gai-Shika goodness- _

**Lee:** _-starts playing with the elastic on some of her panties-_

**Sakura:** ...OMG!! _-punches Lee halfway to the moon-_

**Gai: **_-gives a million jumpsuits from nowhere- _I keep them in my invisible pockets!!!!

**Chewy:**_ -pets Shika- _He is doing great!! Lee didn't like him naked though, so he is back in his normal clothes. _-pokes his fishnet and gives him some of her Pocky-_

**Lee: **_-is all jealous-_

**Chewy:** _-ignores and pets Shika-_

**Shikamaru:** _-enjoying the new cushy life- _Not a drag. Or troublesome.

**Lee: **GRAWR!!!_ -throws Shika against the wall-_

**Shika:** DUDE!?!!??!

**Lee:** MY FANGIRL!!!! _-is all possessive-_

**Chewy:** _-swoons over OOC Lee-_

**Gai:**_-is currently drawing a new eyebrow with marker-_

**Shika:** _-is waiting for Chewy to get bored of Lee- _...He has to snap...I miss my cushy life..

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Protectorofkingdomhearts**__writes,  
_Sick! You saw True Naruto style too, yay! I thought I would never find someone else, I also recorded the last scream in number 3 and played it in math class every time someone got a question wrong. Now I ask questions.

**Lee:** If you were a member in the Akatsuki, who would you be?

**Gai: **If all forms of skin tight garments where gone what would you wear (got you this time).

And if you like that flash you should see 'Fun With The Akatsuki' on youtube, I like number 8 the best.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy:** Best.Flashes.Ever. I would so try that!! XD Too bad my stupid school is so stuck up, Id probably get expelled or something. Lee, say something from the flash to amuse us.

**Lee:** ...this class is the spawn of the devil, nogood shall come of it...?

**Gai: **Dude, Lee, you aren't my bro anymore.

**Chewy:** Tee-hee. XD

**Lee: **And, I would be...Tobi!!!

**Chewy: **Why?

**Lee:** Because Lee is a good boy.

**Chewy:** That was terrible...

**Shikamaru:** How troublesome...

**Gai: **GREEN FOOTY PAJAMAS!! (that are slightly baggy) _-nice Gai pose-_

**Lee:** YAY GAI SENSEI!!!!!!

**Chewy:** I will so watch that. XD First, I have to get a high speed connection so my comp will load YouTube vids. Ill prolly get a job in the next couple of months, after I get my Minors Permit and be able to pay for it on my own. Or, I could just watch it at a friends house. O.o _-hides from the dial-up connection-_


	34. I Shwear to Drunk Im Nurt God

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**amew2** writes,_

SQUEE! Mine got put in!

And, to inform you, Im a kuriboh fanboy, the rarest type of fan boy in the world.

**Lee:** Have you ever had a fanboy? (just curious)  
**Gai:** _-hands Gai a bottle of sake-_ Would you mind giving that to Lee? -takes bottle and quickly slaps on a tag that sais, 'Give this to Lee or you're not youthful.'- (bwahahah, in America!)  
**Chewy:** Have you ever seen 'Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series'?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** I am...not sure. I am popular, so I might...

**Gaara:** _-fanboy squeal-_

**Lee:** _-hides from Gaara- _I am not gay...

**Gaara:** So?_ -steals a lock of Lee's hair and runs away-_

**Lee:** My...my hair!! _-sob-_

**Chuint:** Do not fret!! I have this!! _-pours hair tonic on Lee-_ Lessee... _-stupidly reads label-_ 'do not pour all over non-bishies. If this is done, hair will grow too fast and return to normal within three hours...'This...may be a problem...

**Lee:** _-turns into a hairball-_

**Chuint:** It is like a Chia Pet... _-pets Lee for three hours before he is back to normal-_

**Gai:** But, its Sake!!

**Chewy: **But, its Youthful!!

**Gai:** ...okay.. IN THE NAME OF YOUTH!! _-gives Lee sake-_

**Lee:** _-big grin- _OH, THANK YOU KAMI!!!

**Chewy: **Some one likes drinking...

**Lee:** _-gulps it down-_ ... _-sneezes-_

**Chewy: **Umm, no. I cant watch YouTube on my dial-up. Now, excuse me while Gai and I duck for cover. _-hides-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** Will you please wear Gaara's clothing?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** O_-hic-_okay..I dunno why yur wan me ta do tish thuoghr... _-puts on Gaaras clothes-_

**Chewy:** Lee, you feeling okay?

**Lee:** Of coarsh I feelllll...feeeeellll...FEEELLLLLLLL... _-dribbles for a moment-_ .O-oka-kay... _-hic-_ Im jush...I-I am jush peashy keen thanksh ya' vurry mush...

**Gai:** Im...going over there... _-hides-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Protectorofkingdomhearts**__ writes,_

**Both:** If you die from the upcoming operation and go to Heaven, would you come back to this earth with bushy eyebrows?

**Lee:** Are you ever scared of what goes on in your sleep?  
**Gai: **What if I gave you emo clothing, would you wear them?

**Chewy:** Also, look at (when you can) Naruto Online Chat: Picture Perfect, and Naruto Online Chat: Randomness.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**G****ai:** YOSH!!!!!!

**Lee:** YO... _-hic-_ YU... _-hic- _...YURSH... _-hic- _YORSH..._ -hic- _.YOSH..._-hichichic- _...SQUARSH!!!!

**Chewy:** Must...control...urge...to reveal...SpOiLeRs...!!

**Lee:** I...IM no- _-hic-_ -ot shcurred of nuthern...

**Chewy:** _-pokes Lee and wonders what he should be afraid of-_

**Gai:** Maybe later... _-still hiding-_

**Chewy:** Sure, just tell me how to find them. n.n _-gives Lee some breath-mints to throw off the police-_


	35. Lee's Drunk Again, And He Has a Hangover

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**amew2**__ writes,_

I knew Gai would crack . Give Lee a bottle of sake or disown being youthful...my evil plan is working perfectly...but Im NOT a villain.

**Lee:** If you could glomp any 1 person (besides Gai) and not by called gay, who would it be?  
**Gai: **Have you ever read manga?  
**Chewy:** If you could become any ONE anime character, who would it be?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** _-wakes in a daze- _Did...did I pass out?

**Chewy:** _-talking quietly as not to hurt Lee-_ Yeah, you got drunk...again..

**Lee: **I feel like Chouji ran me over...

**Chewy:** Thats normal, Lee. At least you are taking it well, so just read the question.

**Lee:** ...Sakura? I like her...

**Chewy: **There ya' go, want an aspirin now?

**Lee:** Yes please...

**Gai:** YES, I DO READ YOUTHFUL MANGA!!!! I LIKE READING MY OWN MANGAS TO SEE INTO THE FUTURE!!!

**Lee: **OH MY GOD, MY HEAD!!!!!!! _-painnnnn-_

**Chewy:** I guess I can answer, now that Lee is in pain...and seemingly screaming at Gai, causing himself more pain...ummm, I would be Sakura. That way, I could will my Lee//Sakura fangirlism to become truth...and then be able to live it out. XD

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Kyuusei16**__ writes,_

Umm yo...name's Kyuusei Idzuna...what's up...Im like shikamaru, screw you...and, well, Im done ...okay not really. Anyway, nice to meet you both

**Chewy:** ...can i have a hug..pwz...oh and...umm..grr... Oh, and here's some Chess boards, give these to the Shikamaru fans to gain them on your side...oh and Im a guy...not gay either...just I thought Id help...after all...this is troublesome and a drag..but im bored...meh..._-yawns and falls asleep-  
_**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy:** Ugh...Im going to love today. I christen today, 'Help Emotionally Distressed Gai and Hangovering Lee' day!!

**Lee:**_ -has fallen asleep-_

**Chewy:** _-whispering 'cause she is in a good mood and doesnt want to wake Lee-_ I have uber author powers. I can make him not as violent. XD

**Lee: **_-mumbles extremely odd things about some girl in his sleep-_

**Sakura:** _-way down in Konoha-_ ... _-sneezes- _OMG Sasuke must be talkin' about me!!

**Chewy: **And, sure. Hugs all around. n.n And these chessboards shall help us greatly!! Since the Shika army fell asleep, we have been unable to get them to go away. A game of chess should at least get them on our sides!! _-maniacal laughter, but bursts into wheezing coughs- _Did I mention that I have a cold today...?

**Lee: **_-grumble, mumble-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,_

Lee, because you probably have a hang over, I'm going to ask your question in CAPS LOCK//YELLING

**LEE:** WHILE CHECKING GAI'S DNA, I DISCOVERED HE'S YOUR HALF BROTHER...! HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?!**  
Gai:** Yes, well, when I took your DNA, it wasn't to test your power. It was to clone you with a jutsu Orochimaru taught me. Anyway, I have to ask why you tattooed the sunset hug on your back..?  
**Chewy: **How would you like to own a mindless gai clone? (I know you've got real one, but the difference is this one does whatever you ask...even that stuff I can't mention on a T rated fic...heh)  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I FEEL PAIN!!!! _-painnnn-_

**Gai: **Clones...show tattoos? Ummm...I... ITS YOUTHFUL!!!!!

**Chewy:** They can do that? Ill take one!!!

**Gai:** _-horror-_

**Lee:** _-more pain-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__writes,_

**Gai-** Why did you want shinny teeth?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai: **SHINY TEETH ARE YOUTHFUL!!!

**Lee:** _-uber pain-_

**Gai:** What's wrong, Lee? _-shiny smile at Lee-_

**Lee:** ... _-looks directly at smile-_ BRIGHT LIGHTS, HISSSSSSS!!!!! _-goes into pain-induced coma-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Skullbladeshand**__ writes,_

**Shikamaru:** _-sends Temari and Ino- _Kill one of them! Mwahahahaha!

**Gai:**_ -gives caffeinated coffee- _Have fun with Gai, Chewy!  
**  
Lee:**_ -gives strongest wine I own-_ Have even more fun!

**Chewy:**_ -gives pocky, and a new helper of keeping the peace aka Barney trained by Son Goku- _That was a recent asset I got. I have a couple of them. Yes, it is the purple dinosaur taught by a Saiyan. Use it well.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Shika: **...k. -kills Temari-

**Ino:** I knew you loved me!!

**Shika: **_-shadow possession, makes her walk out-_

**Gai:** Hmm? What's coffee??_ -sips-_ OMG ME LIKE IT!1!!11!!ONE!1!11ElEvENTy!!!1

**Chewy:** NOOOoooooo!!!! YOU KNOW ADULTS CANT RESIST COFFEE, NOOOOOO!!!!!!

**Lee: **_-comes out of coma and drinks whine in one swig- _Could use a better year._ -after a few moments of refinery, ends up smashing Gai over the head-_

**Chewy:** OMGCATFIGHT!!!! _-watches caffeinated Gai and drunk Lee fight-_

**Shikamaru:** ... _-leaves now that Chewy is ignoring him-_

**Chewy:** Alright.

**Barney: **I love you!

**Chewy: **Everyone does.

**Barney:** You love me!

**Chewy:** No I dont.

**Barney:** We're a happy family!!!

**Chewy:** WE AREN'T EVEN THE SAME SPECIES!!

**Barney:** With a h- _-smashed by Gai falling on him from Lee throwing Gai-_

**Lee:** Hey, thasht dinorsur owes me twunny bocks... _-hiccups and dog piles Barney-_


	36. Fight, Fangirls! FIGHT!

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,_

**Both-** Do you, by chance, watch 'Barney?'  
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**Gai:** NO!! BARNEY IS NOT YOUTHFUL IN THE LEAST!1!!!!!1111!!!

**Lee:**_ -found the secret to hangover cures- _YOSH, GAI SENSEI!! NOT YOUTHFUL!!!

**Chewy: **Then, I can finally burn Mr.Shnookims? _-holds up an old toy Barney-_

**Lee:** NOOO!! ...I mean, no. Let us not.

**Chewy:** ... _-lights Barney toy on fire- _Heh, I did learn something from King Bob..._ -inside joke with some short kid-_

**Lee: **OMGMR.SHNOOKIMS!1!1!?!?1!!!11!!13!1$!!1 _-takes it back-_

**Chewy:**_-incinerates it with laser vision- _Sorry, cant let my fave little bishie be caught with that.

**Lee:** _-sobbing-_

**Gai:** _-thinks about hugging but stays far away as not to catch unmanly purple dinosaur cooties-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Skullbladeshand**__ writes,_

Mwahahahaha!**  
Gai: **You saw what happens with 10 decafs., Chewy. _-gives 10 caffeinated-_

**Lee:** Maybe I gave you Barney's downfall, Chewy... _-heals Barney, and makes him do the Kamehameha- _Lee! YOSH!

**Chewy:** _-gives pocky, kisses Chewy- _Don't worry, that wasn't me liking you. I just put knockout powder on my lips. I want to conduct an experiment of when you expose a Green Beast fangirl to a Sugar High Hinata! -drags Chewy into Hinata's room in my house- Wait...knockout powder on my lip..._ -passes out-_ Mwahahahahaha! _-still asleep...- -wakes up- _I took the antidote! Mwahahaahaha! And why a kiss? It's more fun that way. _-takes DNA sample from Chewy- _You never know when that will come in handy! _-runs- -runs fast- _And before I leave... _-shoots Ino in the head-_ Mwahahahahahaha! That is getting annoying isn't it? _-leaves peace offering of pocky-  
_**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai:** _-slobbers down the coffee- _**o.o 0.o O.0 **_-mumbles something about killing Kankuro while being all jittery-_

**Chewy:** Oh, god no...those were decafs earlier?

**Gai:**_-bounces off the walls and is pinned to a wall by many point objects from nowhere-_

**Chewy: **Thankies, Tenten!!_ -waves at ceiling-_

**Tenten: **No problemo!!! _-waves from ceiling-_

**Lee:** _-gets hit with Kamehame- _DOOODDDD!!!!! _-faints-_

**Chewy:** _-just stands there- o.0 _...knockout...powder...kiss...thingeh?????

**Gai:**_-laughs highly from the wall like that annoying woodpecker-_

**Chewy: **...but...I dunnnnn...wanna go ta school...mommah?? _-goes to sleep and wakes up in Hinata's room- _...dood???

**Lee:**_-is there for no reason behind a glass observation wall- _Heh, Im watching...

**Chewy: **More fun? ... -reaches out at DNA sample- Give that back...!! I feel like a lab rat!! ... _-pokes Ino and looks at Hinata- _Hey, Hinata. How's Neji? Not seen him since I dragged Lee into this fic.

**The fallowing scene includes fangirls raving. Try to read what they say, as it may affect the future of Earth itself.**

****

**Hinata: **OHHESFINE,OTHERTHANTENTENDISAPEEREDANDLEEDIDTOOSOHEISALLLONELYANDDOESNTEVENHAVEGAIORSOMETHINGANDHEISBEINGEMOWITHGAARA!!111!!H1HJf11!11112!23!$!752415!!!!1

**Chewy:** ...IKNOW,ISNTITOHSOYOUTHFULL!!!?!?!!/ _-slurps ramen-_

**Hinata:** UBERNESSSSSSSS!!!ALTHOUGHYOUTHMAKESMENERVOUS ANDNARUTOISBRINGINGSEXYBACK!!!!!

**Chewy:** ...did you just say 'Naruto is bringing sexy back.' ????

**Hinata: **Yes.. _-twiddles thumb-_

**Chewy: **Nooo, Lee and Gai are!!!_ -imagines Gai singing 'Sexy Back' with Lee as the backup singer who says 'yeah' every no-and-then-_

**Hinata:** NUH'UH!!!!

**Chewy:** YA'HUH!!!! _-fangirl catfight continues until the end of time and somehow resorts to mud-wrestling in swimsuits-_

**Lee:** OMG, RANDOM!!!_ -cheers like any other guy would in this situation-_

**Gai:** _-name actually is Guy-_ OMG WOOHOO!!!!

**Neji & Naruto:** GO HINATA!!!!

**Gai & Lee & Chewy: **_-Chewy is in a one-piece by the way, two pieces scare her-_...Neji??

**Neji:** ...awkward... _-scoots away real slow-like-_

**Chewy:** ... _-uses author powers to fix everything and is now back in room-_

**Lee: **Awww...

**Chewy: **...

**Gai: **YOU LITTLE PERV!!!!1!11!! _-punches Lee-_

**Chewy:** ...I think Hinata broke my arm...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Protectorofkingdomhearts **__writes,_

Did you guys know that there is a Naruto online game? Anyway, on with the questions!

**Gai:** Same, and no, you may not drink coffee on that day.

**Chewy:** Uh, now how is the war going?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **Is it Naruto-Arena? I like that game. _-has a cast on-_ Stupid Hinata...being related to Neji and all...

**Lee:** Why does that make any difference?

**Chewy: **I dont like Neji...

**Neji:** ...and Neji doesnt like you.

**Lee:** ...I WOULD CHALLENGE NEJI AND DECLARE MY LOVE TO SAKURA-CHAN!!!!!

**Chewy:** You've done that already...a million times...per day...every day..

**Lee:** ...well...SAKURA-CHAN IS A PUSHOVER AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME IF I WAS GOING TO DIE!!!!!

**Sakura:** ...that...didn't...sound right...

**Lee:** I did not mean for it to sound right.

**Gai: **OH MY GOD, CHEWY HAS GOTTEN TO YOU!1!1!!!1111!!!

**Chewy:** BECAUSE ONE OF MY FRIENDS' PERVINESS SPOILED MY BRAIN!11!!1!!1 XD

**Gai:** AND I WANT TO DRINK MORE YOUTHFUL COFFEE!!!!

**Chewy:** YOU GET NO COFFEE, CANT YOU READ!1?!//?!/?1111!1!/!?1???

**Gai: **NO, WHY MUST YOU RUB IT IN!!11//????

**Chewy: **WHATEVER!!1!111!! And its going pretty nicely, thanks for asking.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**amew2**__ writes,_

_-ties naruto headband around head-_ Ihave a konoha headband. Mwahahahaha, in America!

**Kakashi:**_ -shows kakashi plush to him-  
_**Lee: **why is your headband red?**  
Gai: **same question as Lee.  
C**hewy: **did you know Minnesota has a Chinatown? I wanted a bowl of noodles (there probably ramen noodles) and I didn't get any! Waa! _-falls asleep on keyboard-_ nm _-end review-  
_**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Kakashi:** ...plushie?? _-pokes plushie-_

**Gai:** ...can I have?

**Kakashi:** Knock yourself out... _-gives to Gai-_

**Gai: **Squee!!! _-hugs plushie-_

**Chewy:** _-points at headband around neck-_ I gots one too. YAY!!!

**Lee:** ...because, Gai Sensei's is red.

**Gai:** ...because...if Chouji can have a headband on a youthful pair of panties, and Ibiki gets a hat one, and...and...and a million other people get special ones then I can have a youthful red one.

**Chewy: **I think...I dunno. I know Chicago has one, too. We got some really good Chinese food! Curry...and octopus...surprising that it was magically delicious.


	37. 100TH REVIEW NO JUTSU

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Skullblade **__writes,  
_Review 100!**  
Gai:** I saw Kakashi in Chewy's underwear drawer! Go get him!  
**Lee:** I dare you to do 10 back flipping push ups while wearing a tutu! YOSH!**  
Chewy:** I'm going to make a mini-comic. Can I use you as the second main character? And what's the most embarrassing (To normal people) costume that you could wear? And Sorry for any Hinata-related wounds. But I would like to know what happened. And should I be writing a will?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Gai: **HE DID WHAT!1/1/1!111!?!??!?!!! I SHALL KILL HIM WITH YOUTH!!!!

**Chewy: **Why? You dont like me._ -oh noes-_

**Gai: **I like you, as a friend. Its just, you are a fangirl...and Kakashi is my age...and...erm...

**Chewy:** ... _-puppy eyes-_

**Gai:** ... LOOK, ITS LEE!!!

**Chewy: **OMGWHERE!!?!?!!! _-glomps Lee-_

**Lee:**_ -cant get Chewy off-_ I ACCEPT THAT DARE!!! _-does so, and crushes poor Chewy-_

**Chewy: **...that tutu...is short... _-takes pictures from where she was squished-_

**Lee:**_ -hides from pictures of doomy doom-_

**Chewy: **I would love to! I guess green spandex might work...SPANDEX IS A GO!!! Or a bunny suit. Or something else. Whatever fits with the comic is fine with me. _-cough-Spandex-cough- _Just make sure to get my good side. XD _-does hair and shines glasses, only to find that this blinds her- _And my arm's already healed, although, a will would be wise._ -runs into a wall of spandex...spandex- _

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Both- **Why do you wear your headbands as belts?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Gai:** Its youthful? ...yeah..

**Chewy: **OMG, HE'S DEIDARA!!!!1111212121122!!!!!

**Lee:** Same here, un.

**Chewy:** ZOMG KILL IT!!! _-implodes while making Rock Lee stickers-_

**Lee:** ..Stickers?

**Chewy:** For my school stuffs...and Im making a T-shirt...and a button...all of you guys... _-isn't obsessed, no way-_

**Lee:** I see...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Kyuusei16**__ writes,  
_Hey im back...

**Kakashi- **Hey, can you give me a copy of your book? I want to read it

**Chewy- **_-gives her an infinite amount of pocky- _Here...use this for the Itachi fangirls. -then gives infinite amount of sake bottles- Use this for the Tsunade and Jiraiya (sp sorry lol) fangirls and fanguys, lmfao, or lesbian fangirls. haha

**Shikamaru-** Hey, where's the best spot to watch the clouds?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Kakashi:** ...its for ages 26 and older...

**Chewy: **Kaka doesnt share. _-cries and reads her copy-_

**Gai:** I AM 26, I WANT TO SEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ...and how did she get a copy? She is 15...

**Kakashi:** Perverts._ -reads book and nosebleeds-_

**Gai:** 2,145 POUNDS!!!!!!

**Lee: **1,468 POUNDS!!!!

**Gai: **ZOMG I FORGOT TO MAKE IT HEAVIER!! YOU NEED MY WEIGHT NOW!!!

**Lee:** OMGYES!!!!!

**Chewy:** _-resists pocky-_ ...I must save this... _-puts in giant safe for Itachi fans- _...and Lee...

**Lee:** _-is creeping towards sake-_ Yes?

**Chewy: **Drink it, and die.

**Lee:** Okay... _-gets closer-_

**Chewy:** ..._ -locks it in safe-_

**Lee:** OMGNOWAI!!!_ -begins to chew on the giant safe like a badger...badger o.o-_

**Gai:** I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ALCOHOL!1!!!!!12!!!!#!!!!!!

**Lee: **CHEWY GAVE ME TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

**Shikamaru:** _-ignores- _Any open valley will do. Has to be clear, no trees. Preferably, on a hill.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Skullblade**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** _-gives Icha Icha- _Pervert.**  
Gai:** To give coffee, or not to give coffee, that is the question. Aha! _-gives 10 Red Bulls- _Red Bull gives you wings!  
**Chewy: **Sorry about your arm_. -starts to dance- _And yes, it is more fun. And I stopped laughing evily! And what was Hinata wearing? Not that I'm a pervert or anything. Not that I have every copy of Icha Icha known to man. ( Except for the one's Kakashi has. You try stealing them from him.)  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** ... -reluctantly reads first page- ...

**Gai:** Hand it over.

**Lee:** _-looks up from book with flushed face-_ ... _-looks into book again- _NEVER!!1!! _-hides on top of giant safe-_

**Gai:** Yosh!!!! _-drinks them all and grows little wings- _YOSH!!!! _-attacks Lee from above-_

**Chewy:**YOUTH FROM ABOVE!!!!! ...a very small two piece...it scared me..Neji liked it.

**Neji: **Hn... _-dies-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Protectorofkingdomhearts**__ writes,  
_Heh lucky, you get a headband and my parents forbid me from owning anything naruto!! Or Lee!

**Gai:** Here you go. _-gives Gai twenty pounds of espresso beans covered in chocolate-_  
**Chewy: **DUCK IN COVER!  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** Sorry for asking, but why? Naruto stuff rox my sox... O.o

**Lee:** ..Sakura?

**Sakura:** _-rips off his left foot- _

**Lee:** ..Chewy?

**Chewy:** _-chews on Lee's head-_

**Lee:** _-quietly sobs-_

**Gai: **BEANS!!!!! _-eats them all at once- _..a bit bitter... _-zooms around like a spit-fighter-_

**Chuint:** DO WHAT THEY SAY!!!_ -grabs the crying Lee and hides under safe-_

**Gai:** _-begins dropping youth bombs-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**spirit of fire 2.6**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** In the Forest of Death, you said that if you could not catch 20 leaves Sakura would never love you. You only caught 19. Does that mean you, yourself, have prevented Sakura from loving you?  
**Gai: **Do you ever train with anyone other then Lee? 'Cause you seem like Kakashi, with his Sasuke obsession, except less youthful and less mainly.  
**Chewy: **This is my last review of your story ever. Yea, thought I'd mention that.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee: **I found a loophole. If I had caught my 20th leaf, then I would not have saved the squirrel which, in the process, saved Sakura. If I had not saved Sakura, then how could she love or not love me??

**Chewy:** _-explodes from confusion of it all-_

**Gai:** Neji needs no training, and Tenten wouldnt train with me since that time I accidentaly punched her b-

**Chewy:** BACON!!!!!!!

**Gai:** ... YOSH BACON!!!!!!!! AND I AM SO MANLY!!!!! _-acts manly and weopons smash him-_

_Tenten:_ I MISS MY BACON!!!!!

**Chewy:** It is???? OMG Im going to miss your reviews!! Thanks so much for helping to support it this far. I expected it to die after the 30th or so comment. XD (sorta goes to everyone...)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**amew2**__ writes  
_I wear my headband around my neck too!

**Lee:** -takes out Duel Disk- ... dont ask.-puts a card on the duel disk...it turns out to be kuriboh (hehehe _-sweatdrop-_) _-leaves duel disk on table that came from nowhere-_ Have fun!!  
**Gai:** Have you ever had ramen?  
**Chewy:** Do you have a DeviantART account? If so, what's your username? Mine is amew24

Wow this is long.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:**_ -pokes and runs away like a scared puppy-_

**Chewy: **_-watches-_ Hmm, this must be what happens when a more primitive anime is introduced to a more advanced one...

**Lee:** _-continues this action-_

**Gai: **OF COARSE!!! NARUTO INVITED ME FOR SOME...but he unyouthfully dashed after dining... _-flies off to eat Naruto's shoes-_

**Chuint:** Everyone, my DeviantART account is...Chuint. O.o _-pokes her very few piccies- _Im working on some fanart of Lee right now...with me poking him like a madman...woman...shemale... o.0 ...most likely will never be finished. XD But, I will post pics of my T-shirt and button...if I feel like it._ -much too lazy-_

**Lee:**_ -pokes the duel disk more and gets eaten by a Blue Eyes White Dragon-_


	38. OMG CRAZY FAST ANSWER THINGEH

**I posted a chappy before this, just a few hours before. Read it before//after this one...please??  
**

* * *

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Future Skullblade**__ writes,  
_**Gai:** You need to calm down. _-injects with huge needle-_ I wonder what I gave him_...-reads side-_ Adrenaline.  
**Lee:** _-destroys duel disk-_ You happy now?  
**Shikamaru:** Yo, lazy man.**  
Chewy: **Spandex would be good. The first couple involve an anime convention. By the way, the family of Orochimaru cosplayers is trying to convict you of murder. And the 2-piece scared you?_ -snaps fingers and turns Chewy's clothes into the same 2-piece- -blindfolds Lee- Pervert. -silently steals Kakashi's books-  
_**Kakashi:** Hey! You tried to steal my books again! I'll give you to Anko!_  
-Skullblade pales-_ It wasn't what it looks like! Look! Jiraiya is looking for people to put in his book! _-runs-_

_Signed,_  
_Future Skullblade_  
**P.S.** My Ask The Ninjas is offically off Hiatus!  
**P.P.S.** Neji liked it, un. I'm off to gouge out his eyes...again.  
**P.P.P.S.** My present self is currently passed out do to a SakuHina Doujin -related nosebleed.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Gai:** _-uber twitchness-_

**Gai:** _-uber twitchness-_

**Chewy:** IM INDECENT!!!! _-hides under a beach-towel-_

**Lee: **Squee!!!_ -cries when blindfolded-_

**Shikamaru:** Yo...

**Chewy:** YAY!!! _-hugs Orochimaru...then drops and goes to burn her clothing...which she would have done anyway-_

**Lee:**_ -dreams of string bakinis-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**amew2**__ writes,  
_Wow...the last chapter was posted faster than I anticiplated...

**Lee-** Iamgoingtolockyouinthesameroomwithkuribohandme,chewy,andGaiaregoningtowatchbehindaone-wayobservationglass!_ -does so- _Sorry, I was talking too fast  
**Chewy-** It took me a bit to find your DA account...anywho did you know that Gaara has fanboys? my two best friends (who will remain nameless) are Gaara fanboys but they dont want to admit to it.

**Gai- **Have you ever played duel monsters? If so, here is your duel disk _-throw duel disk at Gai anyway--Gai catch it-_ Have fun!

I have got to stop making these long posts, but its fun anyway  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy: **Heh, how do you like the speed of this chappy? XP

**Lee: **OMG!!!! _-cant get out-_

**Chewy: **_-laughs-_ Had a feeling he did. XD

**Gai:**_-plays, loses, and pokes the glass-_

**Kakashi:** Squee!!

* * *

_**RANDOM STUFFS RANDOM STUFFS RANDOM STUFFS**_

* * *

**Chewy:** Just so you know, this fic will die when I die. Or when either Gai or Lee dies, which will never happen. Unless they use 8 gates. Then it will, but it wont. But, yeah. If it does I will become depressed, but it still wont die...Ill just fangirl over the remaining one. Who will be Lee, because the sensei normally goes first...and it would be more dramatic, you all know it will be...  
**(UBER SPOILER ABOUT ASUMA**_** -I THINK-**_**, BE WARY OF THIS NEXT SENTENCE...the Gai thing is just a theory)  
**You know, like with Asuma. Only, Gai's ghost will appear in a bit of sunshine for Lee and warn him about gates or something, maybe Sakura...then say something like "And embrace your youth!!" or whatever and then disappear after giving a 'Nice Gai Pose' (or hugging, or both) and making me sob my little fangirl eyes out...oh, god...I got myself a little worked up typing that. _-for reals, too-_ **T.T**

**Lee:** That is...a pleasant thought...

**Gai:** Indeed...quite, uny-

**Chewy:**_ -growls-_

**Gai:** Did I say unyouthful? I MEANT YOUTHFUL!!

**Chewy:** Unyouthful?? I though you said unyellow!! ILL SQUISH YOUR HEAD!!!!

**Gai: **WHAT'S WITH CHEWY AND HEADS LATELY!!?!!!? _-hides-_

**Sasuke:** ...am I still on the ceiling?

**Chewy: **Yeah.

**Sasuke: **With Oro?

**Chewy: **Yeah, and Kakashi is up there too. Just, you are all separate now. It was no fun having you tied to Orochimaru...got boring quickly. So I just put him next to you, Kakashi is on your other side. Did I mention that everyone in Konoha is in the ceiling? _-points to the part of the ceiling that is yelling-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**In Ceiling**

**Deidara:** Sasorie??

**Gaara:** FOR THE LAST TIME, IM NOT SASORIE!!

**Deidara:** But...you have to be...un!!!!!

**Tobi:** TOBI WANTS A MUFFIN!!!!!

**Tenten:** Who wanted the coleslaw?

**Shikamaru:** Over here!!

**Hinata: **WHERE THE HELL IS MY NARUTO-KUN!?!!!??

**Tenten:** He is right over there!!!

**Sakura:** Tenten, make Lee quit staring at me!!! _-points to the vent in the observation room which is connected to the ceiling, where Lee is watching her intently-_

**Tenten:** LEE!! I told you to stop being a stalker!!

**Kiba:** Akamaru took another dump!!!

**Tenten: **Then pick it up!!

**Kiba:** But if I do, Itachi will take my spot on the couch!!!

**Itachi: **I CANT SEE, DAMMIT!!! LET ME SIT DOWN SO I STOP HITTING THE WALLS!!1!!

**Kiba: **NO!!

**Kisame: **Im hungry!!!!!

**Tenten: **SOME ONE, GET KISAME SOME FOOD!! HE'LL GO FEEDING-FRENZY AGAIN IF YOU DONT!!!

**Naruto: **He ate my leg last time... _-stealth-glomped by Hinata-_

**Tsunade:** I need a drink!!!

**Shizune:** She needs a drink!!!

**Gai: **_-looks in through the vent in the normal room-_

**Shizune:** ...STOP WATCHING ME, GAI!!!

**Gai: **_-whimpers sadly and walks away-_

**Jiraiya: **GET THE LADY A DRINK!!

**Ino:** RAWR!!!

**Deidara: **OMG, ITS MINI-ME!!!

**Ino:** Some one, lock this freak up!!!!

**Deidara:** BUT I LUVS YOU, MINI-ME!!!

**Ino: **AND I DONT!!!!!!

**Itachi: **WHERE'S MY BROTHER!?!!!???

**Kankuro: **RIGHT HERE!!! _-pushes Neji in front of Itachi-_

**Itachi:** _-bitch slaps him-_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Back in the Room**

**Kakashi:** _-waves at Sasuke with Icha Icha while hanging from ceiling-_

**Orochimaru: **_-licks Sasuke with long tongue on the ceiling-_

**Sasuke:** I hate my life more than Lee hates his...

**Lee:** Just because nothing ever goes well for me does not mean I hate my life...

**Chewy:** Well, does it?

**Lee: **Yeah... _-gets punched by Gai-_

**Gai: **LOVE LIFE!!!

**Lee:** HAI, SENSEI!!!

* * *

**Today's lesson? Love life or a youthful man in spandex will kick your ass. And, dont give him anything involving energy. And dont give fangirls caffeine. They write crappily and quickly if you do.**


	39. Movie and DVD Review

**WARNING, THIS CHAPTER HAS NO LETTERS. IT IS A MOVIE AND DVD REVIEW FOR THE NARUTO MOVIE. SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE MOVIE AND DVD ARE INSIDE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**The TV did die. There was a storm. I did luckily have a DVD. I did have to pee and I did hold it. I also dropped the DVD. I did have to unhook my Wii so I could watch it. I did watch the previews and sneak peaks and sports thing. And, I love Kishimoto. Ignore Lee's 'damn you' thing at the end...I also do think the Japanese version seems better. And the DVD is a better quality of sound and picture. And rhubarb is good on pancakes.**

* * *

**Chewy:** _-watches the Naruto movie in a dark room on a couch with Lee and Gai- _

**Lee: **Heh, Sakura...I like those gloves...

**Gai:** I like that princess...

**Chewy: **That man...is hot..

**Gai:** What man?? Kakashi!?!?!?!!??

**Chewy:** No, that one. _-points at TV screen-_

**Lee:**_-squints- _The black haired one Sakura likes?

**Chewy:** No, the younger one!!

**Gai:** The youthful one?

**Chewy:** Yes, the younger one!!

**Gai: **THE YOUNG KAKASHI!?!?!?

**Chewy: **NO!! The blonde!!

**Lee:** NARUTO!?!

**Chewy: **Nooo!! I mean...the redhead!!

**Lee:** You mean...

**Gai: **OMG WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRAIN, PRINCESS!!!!!

**Lee:** You mean the one with those eyes...

**Chewy:** Like yours? Yeah. _-glomps him-_

**Gai: **OMG SNOW SAMURAI THINGS!!!!

---------------------------------  
_**In the Ceiling  
**_---------------------------------

**Kisame:** I cant see the movie, move that clay bird!!!!

**Deidara:** I cant!! It'll explode!!

**Itachi:** I cant see it either!!

**Zetsu: **_-begins laughing-_

**Tenten:** What's so funny???

**Zetsu: **That guy died...

---------------------------------  
**_Back in the Room  
_**---------------------------------

**Chewy: **OMGIMSOGLADIHAVETHISONDVD!! I can take a screenshot of that awesome pic of you guys it showed when Naruto spoke of his friends in the cell. XD

**Gai:** I wonder what that treasure is...

**Chewy:** ZOMG SAKURA MADE THEM BLOW UP!!!!

**Lee:** Did Kakashi just...

**Chewy: **Yeah...he sorta, kinda, used Lee's Lotus technique on the purple haired guy after the avalanche of wolves...nice wolves, by the way. I like that technique.

**Lee: **First Sasuke, now this??? _-sob-_

**Chewy: **HEY, CHIDORI!!!!

**Lee:** FOX CHAKRA!!!

**Chewy: **HEY, RASENGAN!!!!

**Gai: **SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!!!!!!

**Chewy:** HEY!! THE STORM KILLED MY TV!!!

**Gai & Lee:** NNOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!!

**Chewy, Gai, & Lee:**_ -all sobbing-_

**Chewy: **WAIT!! I GOT IT ON DVD!!!

**Gai:** REJOICE!!!

**Ceiling People:** _-cheering-_

**Chewy:** Okay, here it goes..._ -slowly opens and goes to put DVD into player-_

**Everyone Else:** _-waiting-_

**Chewy:** _-has to pee and accidentally drops DVD-_

**Everyone Else:**_ -booing-_

**Chewy:** _-holds it in and puts into DVD player-_

**Gai: **HURRY UP!!!

**Chewy: **THE DVD PLAYER IS NOT HOOKED UP!!!

**Everyone Else:** AAAARRRGGHHH!!!

**Chewy: **_-unhooks Wii and hooks up DVD player- _Its on!! _-goes to scene select- _How do you feel about seeing the Rasengan again??

**Everyone Else:** YAAAYYYY!!!!!

**Chewy: **Its on!!!

**Everyone Else:**_-shuts up-_

**Gai:** SPRING AGAIN!!!!

**Chewy:** My DVD has better quality than the TV version did...Ill have to rewatch it tommorow..._ -messes with languages-_

**Gai:** I WANNA HEAR IT IN ENGLISH!!!

**Chewy: **FINE!!!_ -puts it back- _Ill watch it later in Japanese...

**Lee: **LOOK AT HIM SPIN!!! WHEEEE!!! _-watches big guy spin into mirror-_

**Chewy: **YAY, RASENGAN!!!!

**Gai:** RAINBOW!!!!!

**Chewy: **HE WENT SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW!!!!!

**Lee:** YAY!!! MAKING THIS MOVIE 3D!!!!!

**Chewy: **SHHH!!! THE PART WE MISSED IS ON!!!

**Everyone Else:** _-shuts up-_

**Chewy:**_-whispers- _Her dad looks funny...

**Everyone Else:** Shhhhhhhh!!!!

**Chewy:** HAPPY ENDING!!!!!!

**Everyone Else: **Ssshhhhhhhhh!!!!!

**Chewy:** _-sings along with the ending credits-_

**Gai: **Uhg._ -fast forwards-_

**Chewy:**_-tear- _Hey... _-stops him- _The Japanese version of the credits...is quieter and way better...not to mention completely different... O.o

**Gai:** She be princess now!!!!

**Lee:** They like orange...

**Gai:** Big hat on hot lady!!

**Lee:** She saw a ghost!!!

**Chewy: **What...what is the script?? _-is eager to know- _Wait...that lettering...I have..I've seen it somewhere before... _-switches it onto Japanese with subtitles and watches scenes again- _Didn't help... _-switches it back to English and rewatches real closely- _...OH GOD NO!!! WHY IS KAKASHI ACTING LIKE...AGHHH!!!!!!!

**Gai:** In that one episode..about the mask...he said there was an Icha Icha Movie...do you really think...?? ...he did say she was perfect...and...she is hot...and he would know..._ -nosebleed-_

**Lee:** Nice envelope...and picture...

**Chewy: **OH, GOD NOOO!!!!!! _-watches extras and tries not to think of the pervy movie even though she would anyway-_

**Gai:**_ -they begin watching the sports festival- _OMG LOOK!! ITS MEEE!!

**Lee: **Naruto...Naruto stepped on me...in...in the opening of the sports thing...I was in the front, too...

**Chewy: **YOU'RE IN THIS ONE?!!?!!?? AND HEALED!!!!!! _-watches to see more- _

**Lee: **That is what you get, Naruto!!! A POTTY BREAK OF DOOM!!!

**Chewy: **Gaara was in line for the bathroom!! XD ...and kisame!!! AND OROCHIMARU'S BACK!!?? AND KABUTO!! AND HAYATE, AND ITACHI!! AND DOSU!! AND THAT ONE GUY WITH RED HAIR WHO'S FAT BUT NOT CHOUJI!!! AND THE KID FROM THE LAND OF WAVES PLACE'S BACK!! AND THE ANBU!!! AND EVERYONE ELSE!!! I BET EVEN ALL THE AKATSUKI WERE THERE!!! XD _-implodes-_

**Lee:** I SHOULD HAVE WON THE RACE!!!!

**Gai: **POTTY BREAK OF DOOOMMMMM!!!! ..dont go in!!!! Its unyouthful in the ladies' room!!!

**Chewy: **Heh, Hinata!!! Look at his face!!!!

**Naruto:** Stupid stuttering...

**Hinata: **_-cries-_

**Chewy:** Milk...heh...

**Lee: **Port-o-Potties??

**Chewy: **He tipped them!! I hope no one was in there!! XD

**Shikamaru:** ...hmm... _-didn't plan that...didn't plan that at allll-_

**Lee:** Ino be scary...

**Naruto:** Squished...ow...

**Lee: **Shadow clones??

**Gai:** They all have to go!!! Ah-ha!!

**Lee:** Look at Tonton and the frogs run!!

**Chewy:** Oooh, locked door. Worst nightmare...

**Gai: **OMG SHINO!!! XD

**Chewy:** UNEXPECTED!!!!

**Lee: **Shino is mean...

**Chewy:** He didn't like Shino? Never knew that...

**Lee:** I am not seeing enough of us...

**Chewy: **THERE YOU ARE!!!

**Lee: **THE RELAY!!!!

**Gai: **RUN LEE, RUN!!!!!!

**Chewy: **Bum poke...

**Lee:** I can run faster than that...why was I in the back??? I AM THE FASTEST NINJA, REMEMBER???? DAMN YOU, KISHIMOTO!! DAMN YOUUUUU!!!!

**Chewy:** DONT SAY THAT TO AN ANIME GOD!!! _-punches...hard...really hard-_

**Gai:** Shadow!!!

**Shikamaru: **Yay!!

**Chewy: **OOC!!!

**Lee:** Heh...he is dead...look at him in those flowers...

**Hinata: **S-s-so...a-a-a-am I..._ -hides from the e-e-e-e-embarrassment-_

**Naruto:**_ -oblivious-_

**Chewy:** CHIBIS!!! ..OMG LEE AND GAI CHIBIS!!!!!! _-will also screenshot that-_

**Lee: **Awww...it is over..

**Gai: **Sneak Peak? Of what???

**Chewy:** I never did pee...and that short...OH GOD, HAVE TO PEE!!! _-runs off and takes remote with her-_

**Everyone Else:** _-waiting-_

_**3 Hours Later**_

**Gai:** IT TOOK YOU THAT LONG TO PEE!?!!

**Chewy: **Im a lady. We like to take a while in the bathroom... _-clicks sneak peak and is fast forwarding through the preview until the Naruto one- _...you mean...in those swirly background three sided team things...you dont just do that hand thing...BUT YOU DO A LITTLE POSE, TOO!?!?! _-glomps Lee and curses America for never showing that- _AND THEY FINALLY SAID YOUR NAME!!

**Lee:**_-watches video game previews- _DS game? LOOK, IT IS ME!!! ...WHY IS KAKASHI FIGHTING ME??? AND INO??? At least it shows me beating her...

**Chewy: **I want a Playstation now...it made you look sooooo badass!!!

**Gai:** LOOK AT ME KICK THEIR ASSES!!!

**Chewy: **God, you move fast...

**Lee:** IT JUST SHOWED ME OPENING A GATE ON A PSP!!!! ...was Sasuke just fighting me?? Did not show my face...

**Chewy: **OMG HINATA IS TOO!

**Lee:** The dream team for me has Neji and Gaara in it??_ -angerrrrr- _

**Chewy:** YOU USED LEAF HURRICANE ON HER!!

**Gai:** How many games are there???

**Chewy: **A lot.

**Lee:** HEY!! IT SHOWED NEJI HURTING ME!!!

**Chewy:** I think its over now...all of it.. T.T

**Gai:** WAIT!!! YOU SKIPPED THE NARUTO MOVIE TRAILERS!!!

**Chewy:** IT WASNT THERE BEFORE!! -shock-

**Lee: **That trailer is for the movie we just saw...

**Chewy:** They must all be...and I was hoping for some trailers with you using nun-chucks.._ -sighs-_

**Lee:** These trailers suck.

**Chewy: **Yeah, they dont have you in them.

**Gai:** Its all over now...

**Chewy: **I just made the worst movie and DVD and video-game review ever...

**Lee:**_ -pokes last weeks episode after encore of movie-_ My leg waits are sooo much heavier...

**Gai:** _-mumbles about rhubarb-_


	40. Muffins?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Future Skullblade**__ writes,  
_**Lee:**_ -stealthily places headphones on him- _It's Linkin Park!_ -Crawling starts playing-  
_**Gai:** You would die first... and appear as an unyouthful ghost. But look on the bright side! You would never age!**  
Sasuke: **You'll be in trouble soon. _-gives Itachi laser eye surgery-  
_**Chewy:** Where did you get all of those ninjas in the ceiling? 'Cause a lot of people are missing in my fic. Except nosebleed boy here. _-kicks present self-  
_

**P.S.** My name will remain changed until my present self wakes up.  
**P.P.S. **Which will take a while.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** Hm?_ -hears the music- _AHHH!!!!

**Chewy: **CRAWWWWLLLIINNNGGG IIINNNN MMMYYYY SIIIIINNNNNSSSSS, THHHEEESSSEEE WOOOUUNNNNDSSSSS THHHHEEEYYYY WIILLLL NOOOOTTT HHEEEALLLL...

**Gai: **You know that song?

**Chewy:** Just about that much. Oh, I forgot the 'Fear is now//not my foe. Confusing what is real.' part. _-gets slapped by Gaara-_

**Gaara:** SHUT UP, WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!!

**Tenten: **_-from ceiling- _GET BACK UP HERE, GAARA!!!!

**Gaara:** _-sighs- _Coming... _-mumbles about how she shouldnt sleep anymore-_

**Gai: **Ghosts are, indeed, unyouthful. AND NOT AGING IS YOUTHFUL!! HUZAH!!

**Chewy:** ...huzah?

**Gai:** Yeah, I like saying 'Huzah.' Sounds youthful.

**Lee: **HUZAH!!!

**Sasuke**_ -chewing on the rope holding him to the ceiling-_ Ne?

**Itachi:** _-can see again-_ YES!!! _-opens ceiling penal next to Sasuke and looks at him while hanging upside down from it- _Hate...not...strong...enough!!!

**Sasuke: **NOOOOO!!!!_! -licked by Orochimaru again- _EWWWW!!!!! _-Kakashi waves again- _...neh?

**Kakashi: **_-shows him some of his book-_

**Sasuke:** ...AHHHHHHHH!!!

**Chewy:** Uhh...you will not remeber that anyone is missing...for we, are the youthful ones. _-holds up a green pen that flashes red light-_

**Gai: **Being unoriginal is unyouthful. _-gets flashed by Orochimaru- _OHHH, THE NAKED HORROR!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Protectorofkingdomhearts**__ writes,  
_Heh, going to be vary random around here. And my parents think it is not good.

**Everyone:** _-gives time machine-_ have some fun.

**Chewy: **Any clue on how to handle gay people?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Asuma:** MOVE IT!! Im going to make myself call in sick so I dont die!!! _-scrambles for machine-_

**Gai:** BUT I WANT TO BE YOUNG AGAIN!!!

**Gaara:** AND I WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE!!!!

**Lee: **AND I WANT TO HAVE NEVER FOUGHT YOU!!!

**Chouji: **AND I WANT TO EAT THOSE CHIPS AGAIN!!!

**Chewy:** ... _-puts in giant safe- _Eh, no one really knows that. Just treat them like anyone else, I suppose. Unless they start hitting on you. Then, hit then. Or say no. But, I do live with one. _-points at Gai-_

**Gai: **_-eating a muffin-_ Maho?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**amew2**__ writes,  
_So fast...

**Lee: **Im going to say some thing to you in kuriboh!! (I know its stupid) Kurikurikurikurikuri? _-kuriboh comes into room- -slaps amew2-_ Ow.**  
Gai:** DYNAMIC ENTRY! _-kicks Gai in the face- _I've always wanted to try that.  
**Chewy:** Do you know any Kuriboh fanboys? (other than me)  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee**: Kurikuriboh?

**Chewy: **No, my mother is not a potted plant!!!_ -smacks him-_

**Lee:** Wha? O.o

**Gai: **_-flies off, zomg-_

**Chewy:** I plan to say that (Dynamic Entry!!) more often at school, like when I come into lunch or something...and no, never knew there were any types of fanboys//girls for Kuriboh at all. O.o

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** Why do you copy Gai?  
**Gai:** Have you ever had a crush on someone?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee: **Because he is my remodel, and if it was not for him, I would not be the splendid ninja I am today!!!!

**Chewy:** Silly farm boy, ninjutsu is for ninjas...

**Lee: **Low blow, man...

**Gai: **_-pokes the princess in the Naruto movie-_ I like the youthful princess...and...I like Shizune...

**Shizune:** _-in ceiling- _Hmm...where should I dump this old pan of pig-slop leftovers from Tonton? Ah, right there._ -dumps on Gai-_

**Gai:** ...love hurts...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Future Skullblade**__ writes (again, lol)_,

I forgot to give you something. Remember that DNA sample I took? I made a clone using your and Lee's DNA! It looks and acts exactly like you, except for unnatural obsession with Youth. And since clones come out naked and with any tattoos, I have to ask you something. Why do you have a picture of Orochimaru, Lee, and Gai hugging in a sunset on your- _-hit with a thrown Lee- _Maybe I should make you forget this event._ -puts on sunglasses and takes out silver pen-like device- _I am... A Ninja In Red Clouds! _-flash- _Now if you excuse me, I'll be going._ -walks away, walks into wall- _Damn sunglasses! _-unconscious-  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** Its missing the obsession?_ -pets it- _Heh, like a Lee//Me love-child...

**Lee:** _-dies-_

**Chewy: **...well...I...erm...I, er...its not what it looks...I mean...GAI, EXPLAIN!!!

**Gai: **See, Chewy is like Lee when she has alcohol...or apple juice. Only, she is less violent and more spazzy and crazy. So, the other day, she got into the youthful giant safe and we had a little party with the Itachi fans...and Orochimaru. One thing led to another, and Temari finally gave her a tattoo on her-_ -mouth slammed shut-_

**Chewy:** _-throws Lee at Skullblade to help with her post-_

**Everyone: **-sees the flash and forgets-

**Chewy:** _-pokes Skullblade-_ ...how did you get here???

**Zetsu:** Im hungry... _-eyes Skullblade-_

**Chewy:** ZOMG!! I rewatched the movie in Japanese and I paused at the pic of Gai and Lee when Naruto thought of them in the cell...AND IT MADE ME SMILE!!!!!! XD


	41. My Pokemon Bring the Nerds to the Yard

**Chewy:** Finished my stickers. Nowz I can stick them everywherez. X3

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Future Skullblade **writes,  
_I always wear my sunglasses, I never take them off! And no eating your partner, Zetsu. My name is Skullblade, and I remember everything. (lame Resident Evil Reference, LOL_) -injects Lee with T-Virus- _I have the only cure. Repair the HER (for I am HE) post comment and I will give it to you. _-walks away-_ We will meet agai- _-walks into wall...again-_  
**P.S.** I need more reviews for both my fics. Will you please review? _-kicked puppy look- _And I've found the perfect threat! It's in chapter 4 of The Lone Ninja!_ -takes the still-naked clone with me-  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**  
Chewy:** _-grumbles about hand sanitizer-_

**Zetsu: **_-looks sad and crawls back into the ceiling-_

**Lee:** OMGDOIT!!!!!

**Chewy:** OMGIWILL!!!_ -is lazy, will do so when she has time-_

**Lee:** DX

**Chewy:** _-runs off to read- _...why do you have a naked clone of me???

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_The All Mighty Black Death_**_ writes,  
_**Lee: **Have you ever gotten a tattoo?**  
Gai:** When you said being unoriginal is unyouthful, you called Lee unyouthful.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**  
Lee: **Nooooo... _-messes with bandages on arms-_

**Chewy:** ZOMG!!! _-rips them off-_

**Lee:** AAHHHHIFEELNAKEDAAHHHHHH!!!! _-has a giant snake tattooed on his arm-_

**Chewy:** I was expecting Gai Sensei...

**Lee:** _-moves arm to reveal that it has Gai's face-_

**Chewy: **ZOMG!!!! _-has a new catchphrase...yay-_

**Gai: **LEE!!!

**Lee: **SENSEI!!!! ...YOU CALLED ME UNYOUTHFUL!!!!

**Gai: **BUT...YOU ARE NOT UNORIGINAL!!!! YOU ARE ORIGINAL, YOU MADE ME YOUR OWN BY ADDING THE BANDAGES!!! ...AND YOUR FACE BE DIFFERENT...YEAH!!!!

**Chewy: **NO MORE LOOPHOLES...OR BEING DEIDARA!!!!

**Lee:** IF YOU PROMISE TO BE NICE...UN!!!!

**Chewy: **NEVER!!!!! ...CHUBBIES FOREVER!!!!!

**Lee:** THATS NOT ORIGINAL AT ALL AND YOU ARE NOT EVEN FAT!!!!!_ -Chouji eats him-_

**Chewy:** BUT CAPS LOCK IS PHAT!!! WITH A 'P' AND A 'H'!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_Protectorofkingdomhearts_**_ writes,  
_Is it just me, or has this gotten more disturbing over the chapters?_ -goes back to read all chaps- _Yes it has.  
**  
Lee:** You are disturbing  
**Gai: **You are disturbing  
**Everyone in teh ceiling: **You are disturbing

**Chewy: **You are a perv. And this.  
1.You stole my idea about apple juice and I will- _-sees pie- _never mind.  
2. That time machine is going to make a rift in the space time continuum, or something on Wednesday.  
3. Any advice on lesbians who like gays?  
4. You do not do the emote-no-justu right, you must do it like this 0.o'.  
5. Everyone who has read this at my school thinks you have surpassed me as almighty ruler of randomness. _-gives Chewy a big crown and pocky- _Nice job.

Did you know that in the sports event around minute 3 or 4 in the hall you can see... The FORTH HOKAGE! _-faints-  
_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy: **I thought it was...blame my one perverted friend...we shall refer to her as...ummm...ermmmm...hmmmm...PERVY FRIEND WHO IS PERVY AND MADE EVERYONE AT MY LUNCH TABLE PERVIER EXCEPT FOR ME BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A PERVERT WHO HIDES THE PERVERSENESS UNTIL JUST THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!_ -needs her inhaler-_

**Lee:** Im not disturbing...

**Sakura:** Yeah..stalkers are sooo not disturbing... _-sarcasm-_

**Lee:** YOSH!!! _-wonders why Sakura ran back into the ceiling-_

**Gai: **I AM!! ITS MAH JOB!!

----------------------  
**In the Ceiling**

**Itachi:** Who said we were disturbing??

**Kankuro:** Sasuke did!!!

**Itachi:** WHERE IS THAT BITCH!?!?!!?_ -blind again-_

**Kankuro: **RIGHT HERE!!! _-pushes Neji in front of Itachi-_

**Itachi**: YOU BITCH!!! _-bitch slaps Neji-_

**Neji:** _-spazzes at Kankuro-_ What's wrong with you!!?!!??

**Kankuro: **Its boring up here.

**Shikamaru:** I NEVER GOT MY FRIGGIN' COLESLAW!!!!

**Zetsu:** I GOT HUNGRY!!!!!!

**Back in the Room  
**------------------------

**Chewy: **I've been doing the apple juice thing in school lunches since 2nd grade...or 3rd...or 4th...or 5th...whatever. XD

**Lee:** But, you came into the future during that time and stole their idea.

**Chewy:** ...you can prove nothing!!

**Lee: **Oh, can I not?

**Chewy:** Can you?

**Lee:** No.

**Gai:** HAIAHIAJAAHSIAS!!!!!

**Lee: **...SENSEI!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN POSSESSED!!!! _-runs off to do exorcism-_

**Chewy: **Dont worry, I will tie everyone to this pole so we dont fly away._ -points to conveniently placed stripper pole-_

**Lee:** ...why is that in here??

**Chewy:** My 15th birthday is coming up in exactly 7 days. (Is making a birthday special...Chewy is conceited)

**Lee:** ...and you want to...hire...strippers?

**Chewy: **Who said I would _hire_anyone?? _-stares at Lee and Gai-_

**Lee & Gai:** ...oh_ shiz_...

**Chewy:** Umm...I've never seen that...wait...aren't they the same thing?? No, I dont think they are... ...or...wait...ummm...Gai?

**Gai: **How would I know? _-oblivious-_

**Chewy:** 0.o' (how's that for emote-no-jutsu?)

**Lee: **X3

**Chewy: **YOU GET IT!?!?!?!!????_ -shock-_

**Lee:** No...I just felt like doing that.

**Chewy:** Hmmm...and I feel honored to be thought of as disturbing and random by a school I've never met!! XD _-loves her good reputation...and Pocky...she's in it for the Pocky-_

**Lee:**_ -pokes her crown and gets smooshed-_

**Chewy:** OMG I SAW THAT!!! XD I thought it was just me and my one friend who saw that!!! And in the line, I dont think that was Orochimaru's back...THAT KIMONO LOOKED A LOT LIKE HAKU'S!!! ZOMBIEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!! _-wiggle-_

**Gai: **_-hides from the wiggling-_

**Chewy:** _-messes with her new Gameboy Color (The limited edition yellow and blue pokemon one...I bought it at a thrift store today...great condition! XD)-_

**Shino:** Thats messed up, yo.

**Gai:** UNYOUTHFUL POKEMON NERD!!!_ -shunnnnnn-_

**Chewy:** BUT GAMEBOYS AND POKEMANS ARE MY CHILDHOOD!!!! _-misses the 90s so bad-_


	42. It Keeps Getting Worse

**Chewy:** _-sticks her stickers everywherez and tests her new Gameboy color out- _Oooh, weird graphics...reminds me of my childhood...a.k.a., the 90s...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Skullblade**__ writes,  
_**Chewy:** Because I'm too cheap to buy clothes, and I'm not buying girl clothes in my lifetime. And as I read these again, I found them disturbing. And you still don't beat me in Perviness!  
**Gai:** Why a turtle?  
**Lee: **You streaked in my ask thing. Chewy, you saw it. I summoned you.  
**P.S.** I'm no longer unconscious! But my fanboy mental barrier is severely damaged. 0MG! H1NA7A 15 DA71NG NARU70! ...Sorry.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy:** I TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE DUE TO MY GAI COMPLEX!!!

**Gai: **Heke? _-heh, Hamtaro reference-_

**Chewy:**_-tries to think of pervy things to do- _...I've done mud wrestling against both Tenten and Hinata in a green spandex suit while going commando...thats pervy, and so is peeping with Jiraiya...at the men, might I add.. But...I got caught peeping...and you watched the wrestling match...and thats the pervy thing. T.T _-feels beaten but continues her search- _

**Lee: **...

**Chewy:** AHA!!! LEE, OPEN MY CLOSET!!!_ -points at closet-_

**Lee:** _-reluctantly does so-_ ...are these... _-horror-_

**Chewy:** YES!! BLOW-UP DOLLS OF VARIOUS MALE NARUTO CHARACTERS!! ...but not Haku...or Orochimaru...or Jiraiya...or Sai...I just dont like Sai...even if Sai rhymes with Gai...

**Lee:** _-dies...for the millionth time in this fic-_

**Gai: **BECAUSE TURTLES ARE YOUTHFUL!!! YOSHHHH!!!!

**Chewy:** And, they make a funny sound if you poke them in the shin. X3

**Gai:** YOSH!!!

**Lee: **I did not know that.

**Gai:** That, Lee, is because you have yet to learn the secret of where a turtle's shin is actually located!! _-nice Gai pose-_

**Lee:** May I learn it now?

**Chewy:** Not 'till you're older, Lee...not 'till you're older... _-thoughtful nodding-_

**Lee:** I AM THE SAME AGE AS YOU!!! A YEAR OLDER IN JAPAN!!!

**Chewy: **...

**Lee: **Whatever!! ...Chewy...saw that...but, I was high on Spe-

**Chewy:** ...that explains...a lot about you and Gai, yes? ...yes.

**Gai: **1 KN0W, 15N7 17 Y0U7HFU1?????

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__writes,  
_**Lee- **Do you read Bleach ?  
**Gai-** Sing _'Hips Don't Lie.'  
_**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** Yes...

**Chewy: **OMGNOWAI!!!! CURSE YOU, SQUISHY!!! CURSE YOU AND RENGIIIIIII!!!!

**Gai:** ...I have to sing it?

**Chewy:** Looks that way...

**The Other Three Gai Fangirls That Actually Exist:** SING IT, GAI!!!11!!!!

**Gai:** FOR MY FANS!!!

**Fans & Chewy: **YAY!!!!1

**Gai:** Ladies up in here tonight, No fighting, no fighting. We got the refugees up in here,  
No fighting, no fighting. _-sings the rest, which cannot be posted due to the inability to get out of any lawsuits filed by angered fans or those whom have had terrible images burned into their mindssssssss-_

**Lee:** _-actually scared beyond all belief-_

**Fangirls: **SQUEE!!!

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**amew2**__ writes,  
_Sorry, I couldn't send a comment in. _-sweatdrop-_

**Naruto & Sasuke:** _-put in observation room with the see-thru glass and forces each of them to take Viagra- _I just wanted to see what would happen.**  
Lee:** Have you ever had to write an essay?**  
Gai:** Why green?  
**Chewy:** I would like to know the following terms:  
Bishie  
ROFL  
WTF  
WTH  
LMAFO  
o.0  
LOLZ  
OMGZ  
YGO  
PKM  
Yayz  
**Everyone in Ceiling:** Kurikurikuri? Kurikurikurikurikurikuri. Kurikuri! Kuri?

I have no idea what I just said.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **S'all right.

**Sasuke:** ...IM FREE OF THE CEILING AND THAT PEDOPHILE!!!!

**Kakashi:** _-sadness-_

**Sasuke:** AND THAT PERVY BOOK!!!!!

**Kakashi:** _-happiness-_

**Sasuke:** But...now Im stuck like this for, like, an hour...

**Naruto:** ...why are my pants tightening?? What was that pill? Believe it!!

**Sasuke: **I suppose I should kill some time...hey, loser!!!!

**Chewy:** ... _-shudders and puts up some blinds over the see-thru window thing-_

**Lee: **I know not of this 'writing' you speak of...

**Chewy:** Sorry, Lee is a bit illiterate.

**Lee:** I am illitiwhat?

**Chewy:** Just eat your candy, Lee.

**Lee:** Okay. _-sits down and begins to eat some candy-_

**Gai:** This question has been asked before, but I shall answer once more!! GREEN IS YOUTHFULLLLL!!!!! And the thing about my sensei that I mentioned a few chapters back, but Im too lazy to repeat it.

**Chewy: **Ummm... _-tries to translate-_

_**Bishie: **_A hot anime boy tat is fangirled over. That is why some do not consider Lee or Gai bishies, yet some do. (Sasuke is a favorite of many, as are Neji, Itachi, and many others)  
_**ROFL:**_ Rolling on the floor laughing.  
_**WTF:**_ What The F—  
_**WTH:**_ What The Hell  
_**LMAFO:**_ Laughing My Ass F—ing Off (or) Laughing My F—ing Ass Off  
_**o.0: **_Smilie  
_**LOLZ:**_ Laughing Out Loudz (I dunno)  
_**OMGZ:**_ Oh My Godz (Still dunno)  
_**YGO:**_ Yu-Gi-Oh!! XD  
_**PKM:**_ Pokemons!! XD  
_**Yayz:**_ ...you know what it means..

**Lee: **I do not think that they wanted to know tha-

**Chewy:** RAWRZ!!!!!!!

**Lee:** _-hidez-_

**----------------------------------  
****In The Ceiling**

**Itachi:** WHO SAID THAT???

**Gaara: **Gaahh!! Your blind, not deaf!! Why do you need to yell??

**Itachi:** I LIKE TO YELL!!! NOW, WHAT BITCH SAID ALL THAT????

**Kankuro:** This bi-

**Neji: **THIS BITCH!!! _-throws Kankuro in front of Itachi-_

**Itachi:** _-blind glare at the wall-_

**Kankuro:** _-scared-_

**Itachi:** Here ya' go!_ -hands a muffin-_

**Kankuro:** Yay!!

**Neji:** Wha??

**In the Room  
****---------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **I luvs you, ceiling people!!! _-runs off to make millions of stickers for her moocher friends XD-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Protectorofkingdomhearts**__ writes,  
_Several thing i go yay to, and by the by, the rift will come to this world if you don't sacrifice someone to the 90s. And wooed you got that right! 0.o'

**Lee: **How would you feel about being gay with, um, Sasgay for a day?

**Gai:** (My friend wanted to ask you this) Are you a kid in you liver?  
**Chewy:** This site got banned from the school's computer, but we have home computers! And Pokemon and Naruto ultimate fan flash is Alive! And I have lvl. 100 of everything in my yellow version.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **Yeah, Lee wouldn't work with Sasgay...

**Lee: **Thank you...

**Chewy: **...he'd be better off with Gaara. X3

**Lee: **DX

**Gai: **I dont know what you said, so I will give you all possible answers!!!  
1. Yes, I do have a kid in my liver.  
2. Yes, my liver is from a kid.  
3. No, not the goat kind of kid. Human.  
4. And, yes, I am a kid in my liver.

**Chewy:** Liver tastes bad. _-tests her Yellow Version, which she dug out from under her bed- _Mine are all at...lvl 18 and...lower... DX

**Lee:** YOSH!!!!

**Gai:** YOSH!!!!

**Chewy:** AH TALKS GOOOOODDDD!!!!!!


	43. The World Ends Tomorrow

**Chewy: **I do believe that this is the fastest I've ever gotten more than three letters for this stupid thing. XD

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Skullblade**__writes,  
_Hmm... _-pushes Neji in front of Itachi- -busts through observation window- _Hinata would never forgive me if didn't stop Naruto from doing this!**  
Lee:** Sing _"Butterfly"_! And if you don't..._ -pulls Sakura out of thin air, pulls out a sword- _She will lose her head!**  
Gai:** I know how you will die! You will open the eight gates to save Lee from the Blue-haired member of Akatsuki, who it will be revealed is your long-lost sister that you will have to kill in the end. And it will reveal that Lee's mother is Shizune and his father is you! And then the unyouthful ghost part. And yes, I put a LOT of thought into this.**  
Chewy:** _-stares in closet, hands her a statue shaped like Jiraiya- _You win. And will you read the poem I uploaded? It's Yuri, but not overly perverted. Surprising. And don't tell Lee that I like Sakura now, and would never cut off her head. And Happy Birthday, whenever it is! Can you tell me in a message?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Sasuke:** ARGH!! Foiled again!!!! _-jumps into ceiling-_

**Naruto:** Stop me from what?_ -was totally oblivious- _

**Chewy:** Just get into the ceiling. Im a bit...frightened of Hinata for some odd reason.

**Naruto:** Oh, okay. Dattebayo!!! _-jumps into ceiling-_

**Chewy: **Ill never get used to him. **-.-**

**Lee:** OMGSAKURA-CHAN!!!!

**Chewy:** Off with her head!!!

**Queen of Hearts:** OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!

**Lee:** _-emosob-_

**Sakura:** OMGBUTILIKEMYHEAD!!!!!

**Lee:** I LIKE YOUR HEAD, TOO!! I SHALL SAVE IT!! _-begins to sing and finishes the song after some stuffs I wont show because Im too lazy to find the lyrics...I get a break, yo! Its mah b-day tommorow XD-_

**Sakura:** Lee...

**Lee: **Yes, Sakura-chan? _-hopeful-_

**Sakura:** Lee...my ears...are bleeding...

**Gai:** WHY SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO MY DEATH!!???!!?!?! I have no idea how you knew my deepest, darkest, secret about my sister AND Shizune, but...Im going to eat a youthful muffin and forget this happened.

**Lee:** But, you are my-

**Gai:** YOUTHFUL MUFFIN AND FORGET!!!!!!!

**Lee:** Yes, sir!!! _-eats muffins with Gai-_

**Chewy:** I WIN!! OH YEAH, ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!! FOR REAL-REALS, NOT JUST PLAY-PLAY!!! And, Ill just say it since Protectorofkingdomhearts wanted to know also...and Ill do it...with _style_! X3

-------------------------  
Coming to a theater near you,

**PERVY 15-YEAR-OLD FANGIRL**

_The world ends on __September 18__th__, 2007_.  
-------------------------

**Chewy: **That, and I somehow dont understand how messages work...anyway, ticket sales start on _February 31__st__, 1345._

**Lee: **But, that date never happened...and, it was in the past if it did.

**Chewy: **_-pokes Lee-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Southern Shinigami**__ writes,  
__-sigh-_ Gai and Lee are only gonna need therapy after this fic. (maybe during)  
**Lee and Gai -** If Naruto became a live-action movie, who would you want to play you? (The others can answer, too)  
**Lee and Gai - **Can you two rap? And if so, what would be your rapper names?  
**Chewy -** Keep it up, this is good! Oh, and where are Kiba and Akamaru?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai:** Indeed, but Chewy doesnt want to allow us into any therapy...

**Chewy:** Yes I will. _-places him on a futon and adjusts her glasses-_ Now, tell me about your childhood...

**Gai:** Well, it all started when Kakashi stole my sandwich...

**Chewy:** This is boring. _-sets Gai on fire- _Thats not boring.

**Gai: **OMIGOSH!!!!_ -stop, drop, and rollllll-_

**Lee:** I am not sure, I do not really keep track of actors and such...

**Gai:**_ -all better, but slightly charred- _I would like to be played by either Jacky Chan or Bruce Lee!!!

**Kakashi:** I would think that Johnny Dep would work for me.

**Chewy:** Can I be played by Kathy Griffon?

**Lee: **...why? She is not an actor, and is much to old to play you!!!!!

**Chewy:** ...I just like her style of comedy, thats all. **T.T**

**Gai:** I CAN RAP, AS THE YOUTH LIKE RAPPING!!!!

**Lee:** YOSH!! AND I WOULD BE _'YOUTHY T_.!!!'

**Gai:** AND I WOULD BE '_BEASTY GREEN_!!!'

**Chewy: **Then do some rapping.

**Gai & Lee:** ...

**Chewy:** Thats what I thought.

**Lee:** Hey, where ARE those two?

**Chewy: **Up there. _-points at the sky-_

**Gai:** Do you mean that they...

**Chewy:** Yes, I afraid so. They are in the ceiling.

**-----------------------------  
In the Ceiling  
-----------------------------**

**Kiba:** DID SOME ONE SAY OUR NAMES???

**Tenten: **How would I know??? Why does everyone in here yellll????

**Akamaru: **BECAUSE WE FEEL LIKE IT!!!!

**Kiba & Everyone Else: **o.0'

**Itachi:** WHO SAID THAT???? _-bitch slaps Akamaru and gets bitten- _OMFG!! GET NARUTO OFF MY ARM!!!!!

**Everyone Else:** **-.-'**

**-----------------------------  
In the Room  
-----------------------------**

**Chewy:** AH STILL LUVS YOU, CEILING PEOPLE!!!!

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Eraina**__ writes,  
_Oh gloriously youthful green beasts of Konoha, I have questions for you! I have thought long and hard about them for a very long time, and they are the questions that have I have wondered about very deeply, so I must ask you them so that my unyouthful melancholy at not knowing their answers may dissipate!

**Lee-kun:** If you could do one ninjutsu, what would it be?  
**Gai-sensei:** When did you discover that Lee-kun could not use ninjutsu or genjutsu, and what was your first thought about that??

Arigato! You are my favorite Naruto characters!

-----------------------------

Oh dear. My question has already been answered. That makes me feel most unyouthful...but I shall think of another question for Lee-kun! No, TWO questions! Yosh!

**So, Lee-kun:** First, why do your pupils disappear when you open your gates?**  
And– **What is the most unyouthful thing you have ever seen someone do, and why?

Yosh! Three questions!  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy:** Now, THATS a good letter!! Im loving your wording!! XP

**Lee: **I SAID SHADOW CLONEEESSSS!!!!

**Chewy: **OR DID YOUUU????

**Lee:** I DONT REMEBERRRRR!!!!!!

**Gai:** I first realized this handicap when I met Lee. Or, more like, stalked Lee...

**Chewy: **_-gigglesnort-_

**Gai: **And I thought to myself_ 'I shall train this boy, and youthfully make him my own!!!'_

**Chewy:**_ -uber gigglesnort-_

**Gai: **So, that is what I did. I trained him, and now he is almost as good as me!!!!!

**Chewy:** _-uber gigglesnortssssssss-_

**Gai:** OH, COME ON!! THAT ONE DIDN'T EVEN SOUND WEIRD!!!!

**Lee: **They do not really disappear, but they actually reverse colors and dilate. I have to be able to see what I am doing, and since my mind and body become weakened when I use the gates, it is harder for my pupils to take in the light needed to see. And so, they become larger to take in more light. As for the reverse in colors, I am not sure why they do that. YOUTHFUL DRAMAY-EFFECTS!! YOSH!!

**Chewy: **YOSH!!

**Lee:** And, um...I saw...Jiraiya...he touched a girl...in the middle...of the...street..

**Gai:** HOW UNYOUTHFUL!!! _-goes to beat Jiraiya for exposing his son-erm-I mean...his student to such images-_

**Lee:** And, being a perv is unyouthful!!!

**Chewy: **_-omigod emosob-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death**__ writes,  
_**Lee-** You funny.**  
Gai-** What's with the 'nice guy' pose?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** You frighten me.

**Gai:** IT IS YOUTHFULLY NICE!!! _-does the nice guy pose-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Masatar Torlyl**__ writes,  
_Here we have two clear violations that X'ing the king of FFN will most likely ignore.

**Violation I: **_interactive_  
**Violation II: **_chat/script_

Also, I must take both Gai and Lee back with me to get their characterizations fixed. _-puts Gai and Lee in the character rescue center-_ Have a nice day.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **I noticed he tends to ignore these things. X3 I suppose they are too popular to get rid of them all, or he's just too busy.

**Lee & Gai: **YAY!! Rescued at last!!!

**Chewy:** And being an author, I have the ability to make it so those were a couple of clones Skullblade left here. Ill make it up to you, dude. XD

**Lee & Gai: **_-oh noes, sad-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Protectorofkingdomhearts **__writes_

By-the-By when is your B'day?

**Lee:** _-gives magic bracelet- _You can use justu 6 times, use them wisely.

**Gai: **_(Another question from my friend who doesn't have an account)_ Has anyone punched you for shining your teeth before?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **September 18th. X3 **TOMMOROW**

**Lee: **OMG ITS PRETTY!!!! _-wears it and looks pretty-_

**Chewy:** So, you feel pretty?

**Lee: **Yosh!!!

**Chewy:** Oh-so-pretty?

**Lee:** YOSH!!!

**Chewy:** You feel oh-so-pretty and witty...???

**Lee:** YOOSSHH!!!!

**Chewy:** You feel oh-so-pretty, and witty, and gay?

**Lee:** YYYOOOSS----- ...no...but I do feel pretty and witty.

**Chewy: **Darn.

**Gai:** Why, yes, Kakashi has before.

**Chewy:** Did he ever youthfully apologize?

**Gai: **OMG HE DIDN'T!!! _-runs over to Kakashi-_

**Kakashi: **_-hanging from ceiling still-_

**Gai:** KAKASHI, I ACCEPT YOUR MODERN AND YOUTHFUL APOLOGY!!!_ -nice guy pose, and shiny teeth-_

**Kakashi:** _-is blinded by the teeth and drops book- _What apology?_ -punches Gai to the moon-_

**Chewy:** _-picks up book-_ You want this?

**Kakashi:** Yes'm.

**Chewy:** _-holds it out-_

**Kakashi:**_ -reaches for it-_

**Chewy:** _-pulls away at the last minute-_

**Kakashi: **OH MY GOD!!! LEMME DOWN!!!!_ -begins to kick legs and wiggle around like a kid hanging from a ceiling-_

**Chewy:** _-sits under him and begins to read-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**amew2**__ writes,  
_Thanks for clearing the air one that.

**Lee-** Ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, become hokage, RAMEN ... have you ever cross dressed?**  
Gai:** Do you know how Neji learned the 8 Trigram technique? _(i cant spell it __**(I fixed it X3)  
**_**Chewy-** _-gives pocky- _I believe thats how you spell it _-twitch, twitch-_  
**Everyone in the Ceiling- **_-give everyone tv screens that are linked to the observation room- -and gives itachi laser eye surgery so he can see-__**  
**_**Itachi-** Why does everyone say you're blind?

Gai, Lee, no talk of youth between my question and the next one or I will have kuribohs blow up in your faces.

Toodels!  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **I think there was some kind of subliminal message in there...but where...?? _-ponders-_

**Chewy:** _-fangirl squeal- _ON FURCADIA I GOT THE PART OF LEE ON A RP!!! _-my usernames are Kanel, Chuint, R0ck Lee, Mr.Pants, My Grandpa, and Kanoe-_

**Lee:** They do not make spandex dresses, but I would if they did!! _-nice guy pose-_

**Chewy:** That just ain't right, yo.

**Gai:** I do believe that he learned it by unyouthfully spying on his uncle training Hinata and Hanabi. He then tried it a few times, and one, he unyouthfully lost his pants. _-__youth__ful smile-_

**Chewy:** You misspell a lot of things, but thats why we love you!!! _-had an oddly good and happy day today...mother agrees I have gone mad-_

**Gai & Lee:** LOVE!!!!

**-----------------------------  
In the Ceiling  
-----------------------------**

**Itachi:** I CAN SEE!!!! _-watches- _Oh...and I really dunno...maybe 'cause of my sharingan or something...now, shhh...Kakashi just flipped-off Chewy...

**Ino:** OMG ITS LIKE BIG BROTHER!!1!!!!

**Sakura:** I KNOW, I WONDER WHICH ONE IS MORE LIKE EVEL DICK!!!!

**-----------------------------  
In the Room  
****-----------------------------**

Chewy: _-flips-off Kakashi- _...I think Im being watched...

**Lee:** No, it is just your mind playing tricks on you.

**Gai:** ... _-cough-_

**Lee & Chewy:** o.o

**Gai:** ... _-Kuriboh comes up to him- _Awww, how adorable!!! _-pokes it and it blows up in his face-_

**Lee:** GAI SENSEI, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

**Gai: **MY NOSE...SHE IS GONE!!!!!! _-emosob-_


	44. Its Mah Birthday

**Chewy:** _-dances the birthday dance of dances and cant decide which of her new headbands to wear- _...Sound, or Rain?? ...Sound! _-wears sound headband around neck and puts both Sound and Rain village ID bracelets on- _If only I had a matching Konoha ID bracelet and bag...well, I have the headband at least. XP

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Skullblade**__ writes,  
_**Lee:** _-stares at- _Lee! I am starting to embrace my Inner Fanboy!_ -youthfully hugs-  
_**Gai: **_-stares while eating a muffin- _I remember. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find her and call her boyish again.  
**Chewy: **Happy Birthday! May all your days be happy!_ -hands a present- _And I haven't seen my Gai and Lee clones. Do you know where they are? And, you're being watched by the ceiling people.  
**Kiba:** _-slaps-_ Stay away from Hinata, Dogboy! She's mine, or Naruto's!!  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee: **_-youthfully sobs- _Well... _-sniffles- _At least...at least I have fans now!! T.T

**Chewy: **Squee!!! _-makes it a group hug-_

**Gai:** ...you do not. O.o_ -hugs also-_

**Chewy: **HOMGYAY!!! _-opens- _Yaaayyyy!!!!! I got a pretty box!!!_ -hides in the pretty box- _Hmm...uhh, no...no, I haven't seen them... _-notices the ceiling people- _DONT YOU DARE SAY A WORD OR ILL BE BY YOUR PILLOWS EVERY NIGHT!!!

**Ceiling People:** _-stop watching-_

**Chewy:** Damn bunch of cowards.

**Kiba:** _-rubs check- _Owwy...but... _-puppy eyes-_

**Chewy:** _-hisses from box like some kind of box-monster-_

**Hinata:** N-n-naruto's??? _-faints-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**amew2**__ writes,  
_**Chewy:** Im thinking of using your idea for a fic...just with Yami and Yugi, can I, can I? Please?  
**Lee:** Ever owned a dog?  
**Gai:** _-Jeopardy music starts playing- _..ever sing kareoke?  
**Kakashi:** Why do you like reading Icha-Icha? And when?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy:** Sure. Im not the first to make one of these, anyway, so it isn't really my idea. X3

**Lee:** YES, HIS NAME WAS PUPU!!! JIRAIYA KILLED HIM!!

**Orochimaru: **THAT WAS ME!!

**Lee: **Oh, yeah.

**Gai: **I can right now, if you like?

**Chewy & Everyone but Lee:** NOOOO!!!!

**Gai: **Fine, I wont.

**Kakashi:** _-looks up with perverted face and nosebleed- _Hmmm?? Nuuu reason..._ -perverted smile- _And I really like to read it when-

**Chewy & Everyone Else but Jiraiya:** NOOOOOO!!!

**Kakashi:** ...I like to read it when I _-is shot with a paintball-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death **__writes,  
_**Lee: **How do I frighten you?  
**Gai: **_-gives a new nose-_ Enjoy.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:**_-stares at Gai-_

**Gai: **OMGTHANKYOU!!_! -puts on his new nose- _Yay, it even has better and more youthful smell receptors!!

**Lee:** ...the fact that you can get my sensei a new, human nose is one reason...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Konpakku**__ writes,  
_Hello, Im Konpakku and, _-ties brand new ninja headband to head- _Im now a ninja, anyways...

**Lee:** Was that you I saw making out with Santa Claus?  
_-lights head on fire- _Am I Ghost Rider?  
**Gai:** Can you beat the strongest person ever...Chuck Norris? Oh, and can you train me to be all youthful?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** ...nuuuuuuu...

**Chewy: **But...but, why did you suddenly have that Santa hat at the Christmas party last year? You didnt have it when you came in...

**Lee: **HE RAPED ME, OKAY??!?!?!!??

**Chewy: **o.o Sorry...

**Gai:** _-touches head and catches on fire-_

**Chewy: **No, you need a motorcycle and an exposed skull...which, you may have the latter if your head burns long enough._ -puts Gai out-_

**Gai: **_-a bit charred again, but still okay- _I CAN TRY!!! _-gets a revolving door slammed on him by Chuck Norris- _Owwy...uh, I would...if I hadn't been revolving door'ed...

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Space Writer **__writes,_

Alas! I have finally found the right dares and questions that you must hear. Please, I implore! If you do not do all of these dares and answer all of these questions, then all of you will have frail health and you both lose your privilege of sustaining your youthful state of Youth!

Muahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahaagh!

**Maito Gai:** Did you know Kakashi is a loser? Oh and since you are my second favorite character, hear is something for your trouble._ -gives Gai a new Green Spandex with the words entitled on the back saying,"YOUTH STINKS"-__**  
**_

**Neji**: Did you know that you are a loser?

(**Example:** In the Ceiling, In the Room, amew2, Protectorofkingdomhearts)?

Now time for the dares. These dares may prove to be notorious but at least it will intensify things a bit. Just to let you know that once you do these dares things won't be so lenient from here on out but like I said before, if you are not daring, then you are not YOUTHful either. Now listen carefully my beasts, and make sure to do the dare step by step. :)

**Dare Number One**

1. First, destroy all of Kakashi's Icha Icha volumes, while this is happening, give Gai some strong coffee.

2. Second, Rock Lee will dress back into his old Kimono and shift to his old haircut.

3. Third, Kakashi will unmask Tobi, Neji will unmask Kakashi, Tenten will yank on Neji's hair, Sasuke will bitch slap Tenten for no reason-what-so-ever! Itachi will hug Sasuke, Kisame will stuff hering into Itachi's mouth, Pakkun will bite Kisame on the -------, and Shikamaru will make a 'Hot Dog' out of Pakkun. After this, everybody has to start saying,"Dettabayo!". Any masks underneath Kakashi's or Tobi's mask will be unprohibited!.

4. Gaara will give Lee a nice hug and say,"I love you, dettabayo!" Take picture.

5. Everybody will burn Lee's Green Spandex, they are so unyouthful!

6. The Mask-less Tobi will stuff Gaara, Chewy, Lee, and the Hyperactive, caffeinated Gai-senpai into a huge cannon and blast them to the moon.

If you did the YOUTHFUL DARE, then congratulations, you have successfully became 100 YOUTH. You are now a person with supreme talent, honesty, courage and of course, YOUTH! But if you did not do the dare, or complete it, then you do no know how to live. You have 0 YOUTH! You make me sick. :(

P.S. Happy Birthday, Chewy!  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chewy: **You win the prize for the longest letter ever submitted to this fic!! X3

**Lee:** He is??? Yosh!! I knew it!! And since you have been so nice to me I shall ignore the label on this odd-smelling Soda of YOUTH and drink it all!! _-drinks it all- _...AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!_ -runs around screaming for a minute and then stops suddenly- _...needs curry._ -pours it on curry and eats it all-_

**Chewy: **Isn't that...sorta hot??

**Lee: **A little. _-basically explodes with spiced goodness-_

**Gai:** I shall do the same, due to your niceness!! _-wears spandex-_

**Kakashi:** _-giggles-_

**Gai:** OMGLOSER!!!_ -turns to let Chewy and lee see the back-_

**Chewy & Lee: **OMG!!!_ -mauls-_

**Kakashi: **...yay?? ... _-sniffles and reads because it has "Icha-Icha" on the cover-_

**Chewy: **What great timing!! I just came up with a theory about that!!

_**SPOILERS AND ANOTHER CRAZY THEORY**_

You see, Tobi says he is Madara, yes? But...Tobi seems more like Obito in more than just one way. Well, Madara was the first Uchiha, borne from some demon shape shifter thing and a Hyuuga...well, demons live a long time and since he is the son of a shape shifting demon perhaps he could live long and shape shift as well. Soooo, what if Madara Uchiha got bored one day and transformed into Obito Uchiha and ended up n Kakashi's team. Well, one thing leads to another and 'Obito" gets "killed" and gives Kakashi an eye. Soooo, then Madara//Obito becomes Tobi to hide his one-eyed-demony-face. Soooo, that means that Tobi is Obito who is Madara who is Tobi and Obito who is Madara and Tobi. Get it? Got it? Good.

**Kakashi:**_ -twitches-_

**Neji:** No, I didnt. _-sobs-_

**Chewy: **Easy, highlight and hit the button with the underlined **U** in whatever program you first type your fic on. _-smiles and watches Lee-_

**Lee:** Ummm, okay... _-steals Kakashi's new book and the one Chewy was reading which was Kakashi's and then goes to his house and takes the rest and then burns them and hands Gai some Hawaiian coffee-_

**Gai:**_ -drinks it all and talks in a very high-pitched voice- _OMGILIKECOFFEE!!! _-bounces off the walls-_

**Chewy: **_-undresses Lee, ignored the whistles from the ceiling, and makes him wear his kimmono- _There. _-pours one drop of hair-tonic on Lee and helps him get it more curled-_

**Lee: **Okay, thats done._ -reads on-_ ...alright.

**Gai: **FLY LIKE A BIRD OF YOUUUTTTHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _-slams through the ceiling and makes everyone fall into the room and leaves a Gai-shaped hole where he entered-_

**Chewy: **God, its too crowed...and Gai broke the ceiling...ooohhh, fun!! XD

**Kakashi:**_ -unmaskes Tobi- _OMG!!!

**Tobi: **_-looks like an older Obito but uglier-_ But...TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, NOT OBITO!! _-shifty eyes-_

**Neji:**_ -unmasks Kakashi-_

**Kakashi: **OBITO!! _-hugs Tobi and ignores the stares at his small mouth with pudgey lips and beaver-teeth-_

**Neji:**_ -gets his heair pulled- _OW!!

**Tenten:** HAHA!!

**Sasuke:**_ -bitch-slaps her-_ BITCH!!

**Itachi: **I LOVE YOU, BROTHER!!_ -hugs Sasuke-_

**Sasuke: **GETOFFME!!

**Kisame:** I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!!! _-stuffs hering into Itachi's mouth-_

**Pakkun: **...sharks have two...do I bite them both?

**Chewy:** Go ahead.

**Pakkun:** _-wags tail- _Cool. _-bites Kisames __**-------**__- _

**Shikamaru:** _-pulls Pakkun off Kisame and puts him in a bun with ketchup, mastard, cheese, and relish- _Hmm... _-puts a scarf on him to make him warmer and then puts a bra on him to make him hot-_

**Everyone: **DATTEBAYO!!!

**Chewy: **Dattebayo!!!

**Gai: **_-falls out of ceiling- _DAAAATTTEEEBBBAAAYYYOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lee:** _-salutes- _Dattebayo, yosh!!!

**Sasuke:** Datte...bay...o...

**Deidara:** Dattebayo!! ...yeah!!!!

**Tobi:** Tobi is a good boy, dattebayo!!!

**Naruto:** DATTEBAYO!!!

**Gaara:** ...I...love you, date...bayo... _-hugs and grimaces-_

**Chewy:** More enthusiasm, and smile for once!!_ -holds up camera-_

**Gaara:** _-sighs- _I love you, dattebayo!!!! _-hugs and smiles-_

**Lee: **I love you too, dattebayo!!! _-hugs back-_

**Chewy:** _-snaps picture-_

**Gai: **_-clearly high on coffee- _OMG!!!!! _-grabs all of Lee's spandex and throws them on the pile of burning Icha-Icha-_

**Lee: **NOOOOO!!!!! ...at least I've still got this kimono hiding my body.

**Chewy: **Which I saw when I dressed you.

**Lee:** NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

**Tobi:** Tobi will miss you!!!!! _-puts them into cannon and blasts them to the moon-_

**Chewy: **Bye Ob-...Ma-...TOBI!! _-waves-_

**Lee, Gai, Gaara, & Chewy: **IT LOOKS LIKE WERE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAIIINNNNN!!!!! _-land on the moon-_

**Lee:** I HAVE YOUTH!!! _-nice Gai pose-_

**Gai:** _-crashes like everyone who drinks caffeine-_

**Gaara:** I LOVE YOU, LEE!! _-glomps-_

**Lee:** AHHH!!! ...GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY KIMONO!!!!

**Chewy:** _-floats through the air humming that one song that one normally hears when something is floating in space- _Thanks!! I love this!!!! X3

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Protectorofkingdomhearts **__writes,  
_It is your b-day! Party at Naruto's house... or Sasuke's because I wanted to destroy it's wallpaper. Indeed.  
**  
Lee: **Have you ever played extreme D&D?

**Lee:** Gai says I should stay away from unyouthful things such as that._ -shifty eyes-_

NO!! AND NEITHER DOES LEE!! GAI SENSEI!!! _-angry-__ -oblivious-_ LEE!!!!YAY!! And thanks for the birthday wishes, everyone!! I feel so loved!! X3 


	45. HOMG AUTHOR'S NOTE

**_Oh no, an author's note. x.o_**

**Hey, guys. I'm so sorry about the current….inactivity of my fics. VERY SORRY. You don't know how bored I am without these stupid things, I've resorted to cleaning my room! CLEANING.MY.ROOM!!! But, the end of the world aside, I'm still quite sorry.**

**You see, on Sunday I was happily searching Deviantart for some pictures I could print onto sticker paper when, suddenly, the power went out. Yes, there were some storms coming our way, that's probably what caused it. But, anyway, I turned the computer back on after the momentary power-outage and found I could no longer access any websites on Internet Explorer. I cant type, do paint, look on the internet, check my e-mail, or even check my comments, Bah, stupid interweb, playing such dirty tricks.**

**So, yeah. I'm typing this on my mom's computer right now, since my computer wont even let me type up chapters to anything. I just know I'll have a blast playing catch-up with all your letters once I get my internet fixed. XD  
****  
Happy waiting, folks. Please put away any and all torches and pitchforks you may have previously received.**


	46. Chewy's Off Her Lazy Bum

**IM BACK AND HYPER!! XD**

**I GOTTED A NEW E-MAIL JUST FOR THIS ACCOUNT AND SO IF YOU EVER SENT ME A MESSAGE AND GOT NO REPLY, WELL, YOU WILL GET ONE NOW IF YOU SEND SOMETHING. X3**_

* * *

_

_-everyone is off the moon and in the room now-_

**Chewy:** HOMGLEEGUESSWHAT!!!!!

**Lee:** ...what?

**Chewy:** IFINALLYGOTOFFMYLAZYASSANDIMTYPINGSOMETHINGHOMGZ!!!

**Lee:** _-tiny voice- _Spaces, please...

**Chewy:** You're quiet today.

**Lee:** What? Hmm...

**Chewy:** I KNOW WHY, TOO!!

**Gai:** _-pops up behind Lee-_ WHY!?

**Lee:** AHH!! _-heart attack-_

**Tenten:**_ -from ceiling- _You'd think he'd be used to that... _-pokes him with a spear from the ceiling and he wakes up-_

**Chewy:** HIS BIRTHDAY IS IN... _-counts on fingers- _...24...25...26...27!!! 3 DAYS NOT COUNTING TODAYZ!!!!

**Gai: **HOMGYAYZ!!!

**Lee:** Not yayz. T.T

**Chewy:** What's wrong Lee?

**Lee:** If I get old, I get less youthful!! _-uber sob-_

**Gai:** He has a point.

**Chewy:** Then... _-attempts a whisper but fails miserably- _We shall fix this!!!

**Lee:** _-doesnt hear because he is deaf or something-_

**Gai:** HOW?????

**Chewy:** _-whispers to Gai-_

**Gai: **A MOST EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!!!

**Chewy: **QUIET, LEE WILL HEAR YOU AND SUSPECT OUR PLANNING OF YOUTHFUL JOY AND ROCK LOBSTERS!!!!

**Lee:**_ -oblivious lol- _

_**-------------------  
Many Hours of Youthful Emo Sobbing Later...  
------------------- **_

**Chewy:** Lee!! Cheer up, emo kid! We got you an early birthday present!!!_ -holds out a bottle of white stuff-_

**Lee:** I do not want it.

**Chewy:** _-demonic voice-_ TAKE IT!!!

**Lee:** Eep, okay. o.o _-takes the bottle- _...what is it?

**Gai: **ITS YOUTH ELIXIR!! IT MAKES YOU STAY YOUNG AND...AND YOUTHFUL!!!!

**Chewy:** Yeah, so now you dont need to be sad about this whole 'Im growing up' thingeh!!!! And, we can still have our uber birthday bash chapter on the 27th!!! YOSH!!!

**Lee:** Really?

**Gai & Chewy:** Ja, now DRINK!!!

**Lee:** OKAY!!! _-guzzles it-_

**Chewy:** Remember Gai, dont let him know its shaving c- _-turns to Gai-_

**Gai:** _-drinking some too_-

**Chewy:** ...your such an idiot.

**Gai:** _-sniffs his bottle-_ ...do you smell vodka?

**Lee: **_-smacks his lips-_ I...I taste...vod...vodka...

**Chewy:** _-sits back to watch while eating a lobster she had no use for-_


	47. Lee Gets Jealous

**Chewy: **_-squashed by Heart's hug-_ Okay, I've got some 'splaining to do. X3

**Lee:** ...

**Gai:** Just...no...even _**I**_ wouldn't say that...

**Chewy: **Ahhh...ok...sorry?

**Gai:** Very good.

**Chewy:** Stupid adult...always ruining my fun...even if he is a real kid...

**Gai:** I HEARD THAT!! 1000 PUSHUPS!!

**Lee:** Not 10,000?

**Gai: **She is female...

**Chewy:** ILL SHOW YOU FEMALE!!!! _-sucker punches-_

**Gai:** _-punched-_ O-okay... _-teeth fall out- _10...10,000 pushups...?

**Chewy:** Cool. _-begins pushups- _Okay, so here goes.

_-clears throat-_

---------------------------------  
Okay, so Im on the internet...right? And Im all typing away and working on some stickers that I was going print when suddenly, the power goes out.

'WTF!?' I screamed.

When it came back on seconds later, I found that my interwebs was broken. There must have been a lolcat in my tube, blocking my internets. So, I sit there. And it still dont work. And this goes on for about a month and a half before my dad finally shows me how to fix it. It gets fixed, and I went on with my life.

But then, I realized that after I had made my latest chap for this fic...it didnt upload right!

'STUPID F'ING COMPUTER!' I yelled._ (Yeah...Im one of those people who cuss-out their computers o.o)_

So, my muse died.  
There was no funeral service.

This went on for ages until today, when I got off my lazy ass and wrote.

INSPIRED BY THE BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING I WAS!!!  
FWOOSH!!!  
---------------------------------

**Chewy:** And thats how it happened.

**Lee:** It involved more pirate costumes...and candy...and some short kid asking you out-

**Chewy:** SHUT UP ABOUT PHIL!! I luvs him, even though he refuses to watch your show. Ill shove it down his throat eventually, Im currently trying to make him take home box set one...

**Lee:** ... _-jealous-_

**Chewy:** And he can read minds...always with the hyper screaming and thumbs ups...WHY DOES HE DO THAT??

**Lee:** Gai and I do that...

**Chewy:** Thats why I luvs him. He doesnt know who you guys are, and yet he picks up on my mannerisms/thoughts inspired by you. X3

**Lee:** _-sniffle-_

**Gai:** _-sputter-_

**Chewy:** ...wai, just between you guys and me...he dont know about this place...and he dont like your show...sooooo...

**Lee & Gai:** He'll never know!! _-uber happy fun time hugs of cheating on with an anime character all around-_

**Chewy:** Besides, I know he's cheating on me. Said so himself!!

**Lee:** I WILL KILL HIM!!!!

**Chewy:** He's cheating on me with...ONE OF MY MANY ALTERNATE PERSONALITIES!!! X3

**Lee:** ...umm...that was not...supposed to sound like affection from me. _-snaps out of it- _SAKURA-CHAN! HAI!!!!!!! _-flamey eyes-_

**Chewy:** Rriiiggghhhttt... _-tackles-_

**Lee:** Go awaayyy!!! DX _-not very happy-_

**Gai:** Cant I have a tackle-snuggle-hug?

**Chewy:** No.

**Gai:** Why?

**Chewy:** Because.  
One: You asked for/want one.  
Two: You're a pedophile. X3

**Gai:**_ -emo sob-_

**Chewy:** I get that a lot lately. _-tackles Gai and drags Lee into the whole mess-_


	48. Happy Birthday to Youth

**Chewy:** _-listens to Polkarama by Weird Al as she types this- _Hooja, we finally get some real questions just in time for the big day!!! X3

_Happy birthday to youuuuu!  
Happy birthday to yoooouuuuuuu!!!  
Happy birthday, Rock Leeeeee-eeeeeeeeee!!!_

_Happy.  
Birthday.  
To.  
YOU!_

**Lee:** YOSH!!

**Chewy:** YAY, YOU BE HAPPY AGAIN!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_amew2 writes,  
_**Hello! This is the return of THE amew2!  
Anyways...

I just got Naruto: Uzumaki Chronicles (cant spell). Im satisfied with the fighting system, except you can (almost) only play as Naruto.  
Now onto questions! (roll theme music)

Everyone EXCEPT Naruto, Kakashi, Iruka, Itachi, um...(long pause)...uhh...Tsunade, Shikamaru, and Shizune: What does "Kage Bushin No-Jutsu" mean?**  
Lee:** Have you ever fallen asleep without noticing it?  
**Gai:** What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?  
**Shikamaru:** If shuriken A is making its way to point B, then shuriken C blocks shuriken A, would shuriken A hit You (D) and cause blood (E) to spill on the ground (F), then sent to the hospital(G) to get wound (H) healed by tsunade (I)?  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**  
Chewy:** Must...get...the...Wii...Naruto...game... 

**Shizune:** ...pigs?

**Akamaru:** Woof?

**Gai:** ...stuffs?

**Lee:** YOUTTTTHHHHH!!!!!

**Chewy:** MULTI-SHADOW-CLONE-JUTSU!!! _-millions of Chewies-_

**Lee:** _-is asleep-_

**Chewy: **_-pokes-_

**Lee: **HOMGDONTCHAWISHYURGIRLFRIENDWASHOTLIKEME???

**Chewy:** JATOTALLY, ALTHOUGHIHAVEABOYFRIENDINSTEAD!!!

**Sasuke:** It's Weasel Stomping Day, says Weird Al!!_ -stomps Itachi-_

**Itachi:** _-squished-_

**Gai:** ...um... _-thinks-_ ...YOUTH!! No...spandex? Wait, that was after sliced bread...youth it is!!!

**Chewy:** RANDOM TODAY!!!! BIRTHDAY PARTYYYY!!!!!

**Everyone:** _-in the room for once-_

**Kisame:** _-humming the Jaws theme while stalking the snack table-_

**Chewy:** NEXT QUESTION!!

**Shikamaru:** _-does his weird thinking stance- _It's a trick question. (I) would be 'and then get released' and (J) would be 'from the hospital.'

**Everyone:** _-clapping-_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_my name has no name writes,  
_Lee:** Why have you been drunk 3 times when you are only like...15?  
**Gai:** Would you were your clothes if they have a design on them?**  
Chewy:** Can you put you're foot behind your head? I can  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Lee:** Because I live in an unnamed country, and the laws are not enforced!! HAI!!!

**Gai: **No! Clothing with a design is unyouthful due to it hiding your real youth!!!

**Chewy:** _-looks at her shirt with a big green A on it and sniffles- _But...its my first initial...in GREEN...

**Gai:**_-pets-_ Its okay-

**Chewy:**_ -punches-_ PEDOPHILE!!!!

**Lee:** Ai!!!

**Chewy: **You mean my foot? Ja!! _-does so with both- _I should take a picture of that. XD I can also wrap my right arm completely around my head and touch both ears with it at the same time. And vibrate my eyes. And pop my arm out of its sock... _-goes on and on-_

**Lee:** _-eats birthday cake-_

**Chewy:** Lee!! I GOTS YOU A PRESENT!!! EVERYONE DID!! LETS WRITE THEM ALL DOWN OUT OF MY BOREDOM!! X3

**Naruto:** I got you ramen!

**Sasuke:** I got you some deodorant.

**Sakura:** I got you some more eyeliner 'cause you use eyeliner. I CARE, BUT NOT THAT WAY!!!_ -Lee is shot down-_

**Choji:** I got you some pocky.

**Shikamaru: **I got you some spandex leotards.

**Ino:** I got you a dead puppy. _-evil-_

**Kiba:** _-creeped out- _I got you a pair of underpants, since you dont own any.

**Akamaru:** _-holds up a bone-_ Arf! _-aww moment-_

**Shino:** Sunglasses.

**Hinata:** I-I...g-g-ot you...s-s-s-some...s-some...nun...nun-chucks... _-best gift so far lolz-_

**Neji:** I got you some wool pajamas. I knitted them myself, they say 'YOSH!' on the front. _-holds up some extremely well-made orange and green pajamas...Neji knits X3-_

**Tenten:** I got you a 6 months supply of spiced curry.

**Gai:** I GOT YOU SOME TOOTHPASTE...AND A HUG!! _-uber hugs of youth-_

**Kakashi:** Heh...Icha-Icha Youth. Specially made.

**Lee:** OMGTHANKS!!! _-hugs everyone and takes everything and doesnt let Gai take the book-_

**Chewy:** AND I GOT YOU SAKE!!_ -hands sake-_

**Lee:** Ill save this for the after-party!!!

**Chewy:** Now, eat the cake!!_ -shows him giant green cake-_

**Lee:** HOMG!! -goes to eat cake but Sakura pops out in a bikini- HOMGWERENTYOUJUSTOVERTHERE!! _-nosebleeds-_

**Sakura:** ...HOW THE HELL DID I GET IN THERE!?!?

**Chewy:** Heh...GET OUTTA THE CAKE!! I WANTS TO EAT IT!!

**Sakura:** Nuuu, its tasty!!!

**All the Girls: **GIANT CATFIGHT!!_ -all get into bikinis and fight in the cake-_

**All the Boys: **HOMG!!! _-nosebleed and sit down to eat the cake and watch-_

**Lee:** Best.Birthday.Ever.

* * *

**BET YOU DIDNT EXPECT THAT, HUH!?! HUH!?!?! DONT BELIEVE IT!!!!! DATTEBYOOOOOOO!!!!! YOSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS!!!!  
****A fangirl up till 2:30 AM on a school night after a Dr.Pepper and in my new green pajamas with a Weird Al CD on...bad combination for fanfics. X3**


	49. Timothy, Timothy

**I have decided to send everyone into a cave. And then I stuck a boulder over the entrance. Im bored, influenced by a song, and want to see what will happen when you leave me alone to write this.

* * *

****  
Chuint:** Timothy, god what did we dooooo?

**Gai:** You've been singing that for hours now...Im getting depressed...

**Lee:** But, sensei! It is a well-known fact that Timothy was a duck!

**Gai:** THEN WHY WOULD HE BE IN A MINE WITH TWO TRAPPED GUYS!? _-shivers-_

**Lee:** ...I do not know...maybe he was a mule?

**Gai: **Just be quiet, Lee. _-slumped against the cave wall and watching Choji-_

**Choji:** ...uhm... -smiles-

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Skullblade writes,  
**_Blood. Filling. Brain. Gah.

_-several hours later- _  
**All the girls:** This is the second greatest day of my life. And don't ask what the first was. Which means I want you to ask.**  
Lee:** Happy Birthday Green Beast! _-gives him a basket full of candy that I "borrowed" from L-  
_**Gai:** _-gives him a new laptop- _  
**Chewy:** Well, the blood is still blocking my thought process, so I'll just give you this. _-hands several Chouji-weight boxes of pocky- -hugs and leaves with a perverted look on face-  
_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy: **You should so get that looked at, man.

**Hinata: **Ah...w-what was- _-Ino clamps mouth shut-_

**Ino: **Eh-heh...dont listen to her...she just failed to remember that my lawyer is right over...there... _-looks at an empty space- _WHERE THEY HELL DID TIM GO?!?

**Gai:**_ -sitting around a fire with Lee and Chewy- _...ne? -hides a club behind his back-

**Chewy: **Nice, Gai. I cant believe you went and...and... _-sniffs fire- _Mmm...

**Lee:**_ -turning a stick with some kind of meat on it in the fire-_

**Ino:** ...crap! SHIKAMARU!!!!_ -no answer-_

**Choji:**_ -burps-_

**Ino:** WHAT THE HELL!?!

**Lee:** Yay!!! _-goes away from fire to indulge in sugary goodness-_

**Chewy:** Can I have some...?

**Lee:** Anyone gets near it and I will go Eight Gates on ya'...

**Everyone: **_-sniffle-_

**Gai:** Yosh!!! _-turns it on-_

**Chewy:** GET HELP!!!!!

**Gai:**_-tries the internet- _I...I...NO CONNECTION!!!!

**Chewy:** NOOOO- _-eats some meat- _-OOOOOOOO!!!!

**Gai:** ...can I have some pocky?

**Chewy:** Since Lee said no, I say no._ -drops her meat and sits with Lee holding giant boxes of Pocky- _...and Skull's a pervert...but I suppose I should expect that.

**Gai:** ...I do have a connection...YOSH!! _-orders pizza-_

**Ino:** ...my lawyer. T.T

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**The All Mighty Black Death writes,  
**_**Chewy-** Tell lee I'm not talking to him anymore**  
Gai- **Do you know who TenTen is?  
**TenTen-** I know who you are I just want to check to see if Gai knew  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** Seems familiar, but ok. _-whispers to Lee-_

**Lee:**_ -shrugs and continues with candy-_ I like sugaaarrrr...

_**

* * *

SOMEWHERE IN A REMOTE PART OF JAPAN**_

**L:** _-opens pantry-_ ...where did my huge stash of candy go? IM GOING TO DIE!!!! _-fetal position- _

**Ryuk:** I like apples...they be healthy...

**_BACK IN DA CAVE

* * *

_  
Chewy:** I like Death Note, it rocks. X3

**Gai:** Tenten?

**Kiba:** _-walks over to Gai as he never does anything in this fic- _Yes, Gai. Do you know...the Hyuuga boy?

**Gai:** The Hyuuga boy?

**Kiba:** The Hyuuga boy.

**Gai:** Yes...I know the Hyuuga boy. Who is on my team?

**Kiba:** Well, she's teammates with the Hyuuga boy.

**Gai:** The Hyuuga boy?

**Kiba:** THE HYUUGA BOY!!!

**Gai:** She's teammates with the Hyuuga boy...who is on my team... YES, I KNOW HER!!

**Tenten:** YES!!!

**Gai:** Is she the one with purple eyes?

**Neji, Tenten & Kiba:** _-die-_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**my name has no name writes,  
**_**Chewy:** OMG OMG OMG! Have you ever mat the ancient monkey named Larry who lives in a cave who is allergic to peanut butter?  
**Lee:** If monkey (37354) met robot (2635762357862456) and 37354 raced to the jungle (47567386747685678) and 2635762357862456 went to your house(y), who would get there first  
**Gai:** OMG OMG OMG!youahveafangirl! ilookedathearbgedandtheyhadanudeppic ofyouontheriandithogthyourfangirlwontwouldlikeit!noteme...

myspavebarisnotwokring  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** Yeah, so what if I had? _-smears peanut butter on Pocky- _I've never done this before...you know...in the boring reality that is real life I really should try this...

**Lee:** I bet it will taste odd. _-eats candy-_

**Chewy:** Indeed. _-eats Pocky-_

**Lee:** ... _-splode-_

**Chewy:** ...MY CANDY!!!

**Lee:**_ -is rebuilt- _...nya. _-eats more candy-_

**Gai:** I know, I have like... _-counts- _...two. X3

**Chewy: **Didnt you order pizza?

_**

* * *

OUTSIDE THE CAVE**_

**  
Pizza Man:** ...hello? _-stares at blocked cave-_

_**  
INSIDE THE CAVE**_**

* * *

**

**Gai:** Heh, Ill get free pizza... _-Ino walks around in background, looking for Shika-_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Originalatorian writes,**_

o-k...

Kiba: i got you underwear [?!?!?!?! 

dude...  
ur crazy..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE!!

[a word for chewy  
_-you got me into lee and i am LOVING it...-  
_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

**Kiba:** ...IM SICK OF SEEING THAT SPANDEX OF HIS WHEN HE GOES COMMANDO...WHICH IS EVERY DAY!! You only see him animated...I see him in real life..._ -shivers-_

**Chewy:** Yay!! Lee is the best, no weird back story to explain much of anything other than his determination. Same for Gai...when you combine odd happenings with no reason...then you get win. X3

**Lee:** Made...no...sense...

**Ino:** SHIKAMARUUUU???

**Choji:**_ -twiddles thumbs and burps again-_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Protectorofkingdomhearts writes,  
**_Um... twitch, now this calls for a... SPASM! Well since you where gone for, like a month or two here are my best questions.

Lee: Do you like over sized cats?  
**Gai:** Can you touch you nose with your tongue, I can. (I should take a picture of that!).  
**Chewy: **Why in the name of ramen where you gone!?  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

**Lee:** I suppose. _-giant cat lands on him-_

**Shino:** _-randomly trying to kick the boulder away from cave entrance-_

**Naruto:** Its not gunna budge!

**Shino: **_-stares at boulder-_

**Everyone Else:** _-shake heads-_

**Gai:**_ -begins to attempt this-_

**Chewy:** Look like an idiot, Gai. I cant even do that. I can almost lick my elbow though. Try it.

**Gai:** _-does so-_

**Chewy:** Heh, and I said why two chapters ago. Im too lazy to repost. XD

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**amew2 writes,  
**_They've got a new weird login screen...

**Lee:** What does YOSH! mean?**  
Gai:** Dress up like a pirate and talk like one (just saw the MythBusters pirate specal

(cant spell) 2...MYTHBUSERS!)  
**Naruto:**_ -bonks forehead- _Could a had a V8. BWAHAHAHAHahahahaha...ha  
S**hkianaru**: have you ever imagened a world with no hypothical questions?  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** They do?_ -plans to see this-_

**Lee:** It kinda means 'ALL RIGHT!! YAY!!!!!!'

**Gai:**_ -does so over his spandex- _Argh, me mateys! Lets partake in youth and lovveeeee...as in overall love 'o mankind. Not th' perverted stuff ye must 'ave though of just then.

**Naruto:** NOT AGAIN!! NOO!!

**Chewy:** People at my school are doing that a lot lately. O.o

**Shikamaru:** _-nowhere to be seen-_

**Ino:** _-sees Choji and finally gets the joke- _CHOJI!?!? _-shock-_

**Choji:** What did I do?_ -burps again-_

**Ino: **YOU ATE SHIKAMA-

**Shikamaru:** _-drops from cave ceiling- _What? Sometimes. At least then I wouldn't have stupid fangirls asking me what their future children with bishies would look like. I would know, as Im smart.

**Chewy: **Nya...

**Ino:** HOMGSHIKA!! _-clings-_

**Shikamaru:** Byargh..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_**Protectorofkingdomhearts writes,**_

You got a boy friend? As my emote-no-justu instructor once said "to achieve greatness you must come out of nowhere" it means to send him the box set to him for Christmas and then tie him to a chair and make him watch... he was also my randomness instructor.  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chewy:** _-plans to do so-_

_**

* * *

SOMEWHERE IS CHEWY'S DISTANT HOMETOWN**_

**  
Chewy's BF:** ...I sense a disturbance in the force...

**_  
BACK IN DA CAVE

* * *

_****  
Shino:** _-continues to stare at the boulder-_

**Chewy:** IT WONT MO- _-boulder moves-_

**Lee:** Woot! We be free!!

**Chewy:** _-snaps fingers and everyone is back in the room-_

**Gai:** You mean...the whole time...you could have...

**Chewy:** Yeah.

**People Who Are Now Back In The Ceiling:** CHEWY!!! _-screaming-_


	50. 50TH CHAPTER YAY!

**Chewy:** Dude, 50th chapter!! WOOT!!

**Lee:** Yay!!!

**Gai: **Magnificent!!

**Chewy: **I've always wondered...why do you use such big and underused words, Gai?

**Gai: **I will not acknowledge that.

**Chewy: **YOU ARE SMARTER THAN YOU LET ON, GAI, WHAT WITH THE USE OF SUCH LARGE WORDS!! I WILL PROVE IT!!!!

**Gai:** _-changes subject- _Did you see how Light killed that woman? Amazing!! I was worried she had given him another fake name when he said he was Kira...but she didnt!!_ -fangirlish squeal-_

**Chewy: **HOMG, JA!! _-forgot her plotting-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**amew2 writes,  
**_ARG! I CANT GET THIS STUPID SONG OUT OF MY HEAD!

Anyways...

**Lee: **If you could chose anything (except youth) to be obsessed with, what would it be?  
**Everyone: **Do I like Mythbusters too much?  
**Chewy:** I like Death Note, too. Its a good anime.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** KITTIES!!!!1

**Chewy:** Why kitties? Im allergic to kitties.

**Lee:** Thats why. THEN YOU SHALL BE ALLERGIC TO ME!!!_ -turns into a kitty-_

**Chewy:** Oh noes!! _-sneezes- _...ah, well. _-hugs kitty Lee and doodles him-_

**Lee:** Ai!! _-sneezed on and changes back to normal Lee-_

**Everyone:** No.

**Chewy:** DEATH NOTE RAWKS, BUT NOT LIKE NARUTO!! X3

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**Skullblade writes,  
**_**Lee: **Lee, I just informed L of where his candy went. **  
Gai:** Do you like the background I put on your desktop?**  
Chewy's BF: **Run! You don't know me, but run!  
**Shikamaru: **_-throws a caramel apple at him-  
_**Kiba:** _-having thoughts of eating Kiba-  
_**Ino: **_-finds a crowbar for Shikamaru-  
_**Chewy: **Good. You understand me so well. Now to bribe Jiraiya into "researching" Tsunade.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** ...why?

**Chewy:** _-puts on a trench-coat and brings Gai's laptop over to Lee-_

**Laptop:** _-has an 'L' on it-_

**Lee:** ...

**L:** _-walks in- _...this isn't my room...

**Chewy:** Next door over. I know how you feel. These single room, no window, pure white homes all look the same.

**L: **Ah, thanks. _-leaves for next room over-_

**Everyone:** ...

**Chewy:** What? You didnt think I built this place, did you? I just bought it...

**Laptop:**_ -L's voice comes on- _Hello, Lee. I know what you did.

**Lee: **Eep!!

**Laptop: **I will now-_ -Lee turns off laptop-_

**Lee:** Heh... _-ignores yelling from the next room over-_

**Gai:** _-takes back laptop and goes to the desktop- _Yes, I love it! Thank you!!

**Chewy:** _-leans over shoulder- _Is that... _-nosebleeds slightly-_

**Gai:** ...yes...

**Lee:**_ -looks- _HOMG! _-dies-_

**Chewy's BF:** Ne? _-looks around and sees Chewy running from a far distance away at him-_

**Chewy: **_-is running at her BF and finally got box set 1 of Naruto on Friday...stupid thing is always sold out-_

**Chewy's BF:** AI!!!11! _-runs away-_

**Chewy:** Aww. Im too lazy to fallow. _-sits down and plays with shiny box of DVD-_

**Shikamaru:** ...am I allowed in the room now?

**Chewy: **Yes, number three favorite character. You are.

**Shikamaru:** Cool. _-caramel apple sticks to his head-_

**Chewy: **Uhm...there's a...

**Shikamaru:** Indeed._ -takes apple from his head and eats it- _My head is now sticky.

**Chewy:** Yes, I see that. _-yawns and sits by Shikamaru...is like a mixture of the annoying and eccentric Lee & Gai with the constantly tired, lazy and super smart Shikamaru-_

**Shikamaru: **_-yawns-_

**Chewy:** _-yawns-_

**Kiba:** ...my Kiba sense is tingling... _-shifty eyes- _I KNOW ONE OF YOU IS THINKING OF EATING ME!!!!

**Everyone Else: **...freak...

**Ino:** -has crowbar- Hmmm... _-throws it at Shikamaru from ceiling-_

**Shikamaru:** _-smashed in the head by crowbar but doesnt notice-_

**Ino: **WTF!?

**Chewy:** Ooh, sounds like a good idea._ -motions to Jiraiya-_

**Jiraiya:**_ -drops from ceiling-_ Yeah?

**Chewy:** 'Research' Tsunade.

**Jiraiya:** She'll eat my soul. O.o

**Chewy:** _-pulls a rope and every female Naruto character comes up...they are all lassoed together- _See that pool of Jell-O?_ -points at pool of Jell-O-_

**Jiraiya:** ... _-high voice- _IM IN!!! _-runs off to 'research' Tsunade-_

**Chewy:** _-watches Tsunade eat Jiraiya's soul-_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**my name has no name writes,  
**_**Lee:** Can I be your fangirl?  
**Gai:** ... you are the funniest person in Naruto... why did you grunt to get Tenten, Lee, and Neji doing the hand thing? (episode 18 Shuupuden)  
**Chewy: **I love death note! My parents dont allow me to watch anime... any tips on how to sneak watch it?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** ..sure.

**Gai:** Because I could!! X3

**Chewy:** Wish I could watch Shuupuden, but my computer wont load anything other than flash. And yet...people insist on ruining the show with spoiler for me! X3 _-not really angry, just annoyed at the fact that she cant have broadband so far out in the country-_

**Lee:** Scary. o.o

**Chewy: **Rawr. And if you cant watch anime, then how can you watch Naruto? Thats an anime. And, anyway, if your that desperate...make sure you can lock your door. You also need a TV in your room. If you dont have one, ask for one at Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate. -most give gifts, I think- Then watch it at the normal time, and if you cant, just stay up real late until it comes on for the second time.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**The All Mighty Black Death writes,  
**_**Gai:** If the world no longer had any cloths that weren't 4 sizes to big, what would you wear?  
**Lee:** Do you like to be paired with Naruto?  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Gai:** I wear 4 sizes too small. _-thumbs up-_

**Chewy:** I think that might be what they meant.

**Gai:** Oh. 3 sizes too small!!! YOSH!!

**Lee:** NOT GAAAYYYYY!!!!! _-foaming at mouth-_

**Chewy:** ...scary.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**_**rpgprincess8 writes,  
**_**Lee:** I love you Lee. I've been a loyal fangirl since the manga was first released in japan. But my question is, what is your favorite fight that you have had? My favorite is when you fight Deidara-kun, (even though it was short) may he rest in peace. _-throws kunai at sasuke, die bastard-__**  
**_**Gai-sensei:** I can't remember if this has been asked, but what made you have Kakashi as your rival? What happened?**  
Chewy:** Keep up the good work. You do such a good job.  
**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Lee:** I enjoyed them all! YOSH!

**Chewy:** I liked the fight with Gaara, myself. It was badass, what with his gates. X3

**Lee:** But I nearly DIED!

**Chewy:** ..so? _-rest in PIECES...hardy har-har-_

**Tobi:** Do not disrespect Deidara-sempai! _-shoots her-_

**Chewy:**_ -shot by Tobi-_

**Gai-Sensei:** I've said it before (chap. 3), and I've not said it in so long...ILL SAY IT AGAIN!! X3  
It all started when we were twelve or so. Kakashi's mother forgot to pack his lunch. You see, Kakashi was very picky about his lunch and academy lunches didn't fit his bill. Anyway, one day I was eating a delicious sandwich that I had made before school to get rid of the last two pieces of bread at home and when I wasnt looking, he stole it! **MY** SANDWICH!!! Ever since then we have been ETERNAL RIVALS!!!!!!! _-nice Gai pose-_

**Chewy: **Shall we restate the bit about tomatoes now?

**Gai: **Yes.

**Chewy: **K. _-clears throat- _..that's it? A sandwich?

**Gai:** ..it was bologna and cheese...with a tomato! A TOMATOOOooo!!!!! _-dramatic pose-_

**Chewy:** I have lost all respect for you.

**Sasuke:** _-hanging from ceiling once more-_ ...I hear a kunai... _-kunai'd in the thigh- _HOMGITHURTS!!!!

**Chewy:** Thanks, I do my best. HAPPY 50TH CHAPTER, EVERYBODY!!


End file.
